Hey guys. Here's my problem. I'm getting married next August and this girl I know is getting married in march. She thinks that we're frineds and she asked me to be her bridesmaid. And I said yes, the problem is, I didn't have the money for a long time to get married, but I had done a ton of research about weddings and I had selected all my music and they were in my car. Well To make this short, she borrowed my car with her fiance and they went on a trip and brought the car back a week later. I come to find out she heard the music I had for my wedding and she's stealing all of it! I told her not to, that I had chosen those so carefully and that they were special to me, but she says she likes them too, and there's nothing I can do, since she's getting married first. What should I do?
2006-11-19 09:48:02 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
how annoying! tell her that you picked it and that it's yours...if she insists on using it too...then get something different and better....she will feel stupid!! haha
2006-11-19 10:16:03 · answer #1 · answered by Becky S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the big issue here is the music. I think the problem is that she disregards the fact that you asked her NOT to use the music...and all this after she had the use of your car for a week....does neither she nor her fiance have transportation of their own? I believe you've been a better friend than she has. Is this a friendship you wish to cultivate or do you prefer to put some distance between you since she obviously doesn't respect your wishes. Personally I think I'd say I would rather not be in her wedding under these circumstances and it's not my idea of a "keeper" friendship.
2006-11-19 10:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad that you have such a creative gift that you could help make someone elses day special too. Spread the love. You can still use those songs for your wedding. A wedding is not about music, its about commiting to your partner for life. It's not going to be the way you dreamed, and things will go wrong. At the end of the night, you may be disappointed, you may be overwhelmingly happy. But you will be married, to the person you love. GD LK and go to pre marital counseling.
2006-11-19 13:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by craazzy_lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So she uses your songs what is the big deal? There is almost 5 months between her wedding and yours. How many people are really going to care? It's more important that you use the songs you want to use regardless of if anyone else uses them. It's a little inconsiderate of her, but not much you can do about it. Is it worth ending the friendship over and if so what will you accomplish with that? A song is a song, if they are special to you then use them....
Try to think of it as flattering that she wants to copy them. You could always let all the other bridesmaids know by saying Hey guess what instead of finding her own songs she's decided to use all of the ones I selected for my wedding!.... She might be embarrassed enough not to use them but you risk your friends thinking your being petty.
Your marriage isn't going to be doomed because someone is copying your music.
2006-11-19 09:54:54 · answer #4 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well that is easy you tell her your not going to be her bridesmaid find another another gal.
Don't go to the wedding. I mean figure your music is probably a lot of people's music too but that is just mean.
Why would you be in her wedding?
2006-11-19 12:21:52 · answer #5 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have already expressed your displeasure to her about using the music and she has decided to use it anyway — unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. :-(
Planning a wedding in itself is already stressful, so I would say, let it go and don't let it stress you out. If it bothers you a great deal to the point where you are upset and resent her, decline from being a bridesmaid in her wedding.
Hope it works out for you...but relax because you have a busy year ahead of you!
2006-11-19 12:09:09 · answer #6 · answered by D M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could try taking it as a compliment. Try compromising and asking her not to play the really special songs. Other than that, the families at the wedding will be different so who is really going to know. Plus there will be 6 months between weddings--dont' sweat the small stuff-trust me, there will be bigger issues as the days get closer.
2006-11-19 09:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by Meme 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Who cares?!?!?! To be honest, it doesn't matter...if the music means something to you and you fiance then it will be special when YOU hear it at YOUR wedding. I know it might be awkward listening to it at her wedding, but don't let it get you down...years from now she is going to regret that she chose the EXACT music that you did and she will feel like an idiot. Just let it be!
2006-11-19 10:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is simple. Don't be her bridesmaid. If you and your guy aren't at her wedding, then the music won't be ruined for you.
2006-11-19 11:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont go to her wedding, and dont invite her to yours. Most, if not all, of your guests will be different so who will ever know? I think if you do go to the wedding you will be mad when you hear all of those songs, and when you have your own wedding there will be a bit of a damper.
2006-11-19 11:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not right. I feel your pain, it's almost like she's taking what you tried so hard to pick for yourself. She may not understand how much the songs mean to you personally. Tell her again how you feel, be a B I T C H about it! Seriously she'll get the hint. Or let her have a song or two. compromise somehow.
2006-11-19 09:58:58 · answer #11 · answered by Snuz 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋