boyfriend problem?

Question

my boyfriend of 3 years can be clingy and pathetic.
if i complement him he needs a cuddle.
when he comes in from work he gets upset if im too busy to kiss and hug him.
if im going out with the girls clubbing he worries.
he knows i would never cheat coz i respect him too much.

but then he also said he would move into my flat in september
but he didnt coz i was being investigated for benefit fraud.
now in november he says he cant afford to move in untill febuary when he gets his next bonus.

i get the feeling that we will never live together.
i have had my own flat for well over a year now and he just doesnt seem bothered. he just puts it off all the time.but he acts all clingy when he hasnt seen me for a day or two.
when i ask him about it he says its down to finance. i dont work at the mo coz i need to have at least 27 hours a week so i can afford to live inmy flat and there isnt many about.
he works fulltime if he moved in i could apply for jobs with less hours.

but he doesnt seem to listen to me when i say that there are more oppertunitys for work with part-time hours.

what shall i do.
i am thinking he is messing me about. and he will never move in.

should i get rid and move on?

i have told him and he cant understand the problem.

our relationship is so boring now.

the benefit fraud is not something i have done. my old employer was found guilty of the fraud so dont hold that against me.

i try my best to get a job but i dont have many qualifications so it is hard for me to find one that is sutible.

Answer 1

explain/show this to him. Then if he don't change, leave his as.s

Answer 2

If you are otherwise happy with him, I would not dump him unless there is no hope at all. Maybe he really can't afford to move. Well, for now, let him know that he is indeed important to you, and just be there. He may come round.
Problem is if you dump him, it may be much longer before another man fit to have comes along.
As far as the cuddle and wanting attention, there are women who would die to have a man like that. So many are cold and distant, only giving attention when they want a shag.
I know, I am a man, and my male mates, at least some are just like that. I am popular with women because I know when to ask for attention, and when not. I also give love, attention, and all the good things back.
If nothing else tell him if he doesn't move in you are going to become a dominatrix and cane his ar_se until he grows up!!!

Answer 3

He sounds like he doesn't quite grasp what you are trying to say to him ... You may have to be very blunt with him, it is very important to you ... it may be hard for you but you may have to give him an ultimatum, or just continually go on about how important it is to you.

It isn't fair to make you feel this way, its alright for him, he has a job, its also better financially if you move intogether, and it allows you to become closer.

I hope you get this problem sorted out ok.

Answer 4

I am confused, you need to work 27hrs a week to afford your flat BUT you aren't working at the moment because of this?! Maybe he is afraid you will become lazy and dependant if he moves in. From the sounds of it, I wouldn't doubt it.

Answer 5

Maybe he is just nervous about moving in with you. I mean moving in with someone you love is a big step. Maybe he is not ready to make the next big step in your live yet and he does not want to hurt your feelings about it. Either way you should just ask him why he does not want to move in with you. I hope every thing works out ok between you.

Good luck.

Answer 6

first paragraph last two lines kill every guy in the world it is the biting on a bare hook that give all this stuff ideals that never are there if they aren't there, go out and he don't have you what's is his next move cause they don't want to be hooked to a empty woman who can be just a happy out with somebody else

Answer 7

Well you have pushed all the right buttons,you have put your neck on the line for him,its YOUR flat your asking him to live with you in,god theres guys out her who would leap at the chances you are offering to him,ditch him theres better out there with less hassle or baggage

Answer 8

he sounds like a nice guy, and i dont blame him for being cautious if you are being investigated for benefit fraud, why should you get away with it when we all pay our taxes etc, and go to work for our money, i work bloody hard for my pittance of a wage but i would never dream of claiming benefit when i didn't deserve it, i think you should dump him, it would do him a favour, but i wish you well

Answer 9

I somehow really cannot take this seriously!

I'm sure you're being honest ...but!

I cannot understand the sheer emotional 'messiness' of the relationship.

Stand up for your Self.
Sash.

Answer 10

You do what's right for you. Is he really the guy for you and if he is talk to him about somethings he needs to change. But if he's not the right guy for you break up with him.

Answer 11

I think people would need to know a lot more about your relationship in order to help you with this.