im right or wrong?

Question

my baby is 4weeks old and i think he is in problem.
i have my own house my girlfriend has hers...before the babe was born i told her i dont want to see the house dirty ,and i dont want to see dog hair ly everywhere ,the dogs s*** anywhere in the house ,the smell make u sick when u open the front door .sometimes im please with her ,when i go down there the house is clean and everything tidy she has a dauther of 15years ,and 3 days ago me baby spit out milk ,some got in the floor the reaction of the 15 year old was : clean the floor (full dog hair and dirty ) with the bib and after she clean his mouth,i told her mum ,but she never said a word to the dauther .
today i told her i dont want nathing to do with her no more if she want to live do way she lives ,but now im scared that she will stop me from see my little angel.
i did help her in the house ,but i did give up doing because everything is always the same .
what i should do ?
1-forget i have a baby and start other life?

Answer 1

How could you have the audacity to demand perfection from a woman that just had a baby 4 weeks ago. Whether by C-section or regular vaginal birth she is still in recovery.
First of all that 15yr old daughter of hers could be a little more helpful but she isn't obligated to take on parental responsibilities. You are the other parent. It doesn't matter that you aren't married to her, you are the father so you should go over there as often as possible and offer your girlfriend help in the most gracious way. She carried him for 9 months and went through the child birth and is now trying to recover her energy and such from that. She also has the added responsibility of raising a teenager which can also take a lot out of someone. You should go over and help her. Go get the Dog groomed, they have things they can do that can help minimize the shedding. Put up baby gates to keep the dog limited to certain areas of the house. Buy the Clorox disinfected towelettes in a pop up container (maybe a few for around the house, so that surfaces can be cleaned up in a flash with sanitizing qualities. Gently and kindly hint or explain to the teen that it would be a great help for her take on some chores for a while until "mom" gets her energy back. Right now she needs to sleep when the baby sleeps because at night, I'm sure she doesn't get a full nights sleep yet. If you can afford to you could get a maid to come and do some cleaning here and there. Not every day but maybe twice a month, in the meantime, pitch in even if it isn't YOUR house. It is your baby and you can BE A Father and take on some responsibility. If in fact she wasn't the best house keeper before the baby, then you can ease her into forming some good habits if they are encouraged with love and understanding and not some DOMINEERING Chauvenistic Pig stuff. Like I am Man and you are WOman and you will be subservient to me. That is bull hockey. You laid down with her to make this baby, you can stand up and be a man and a father. If the dog continues to be a problem, evaluate it's value in the house. Our dog started to pee in the house when the baby came because of a jealousy and then as the baby got older was starting to chew on toys and destroy them. We got rid of the dog. My mother has him now where he can be spoiled by a couple of old people who can make him their main focus and he doesn't have to share the limelight with a baby. You can also give the dog to an agency that finds new homes for dogs. Baby comes first here. She will have to realize this if it is her dog.

Answer 2

First of all -- did you not observe that she was not going to put forth effort to keep her home tidy during the time you two were dating (or having sex -- and where did you conceive the child anyway)?

This is VERY DIFFICULT to read -- the spelling problems make it hard to understand ... and picking out things to deal with one by one -- there are tons of issues here that need more than just being on Yahoo Answers can give.

You went over and started fixing things -- Good for you -- that is helping the environment over there for sure.

YOU have NO OPTION to "FORGET" you have a Baby -- get a DNA test done right now to determine IF it is biologically yours -- then ... if you are so concerned about the infant (and it is biologically yours) -- FILE for custody of the infant, and

file with Child Protective Services where you live -- note the conditions of the home, the fact that the dog is allowed to do its business in the home (YUCK! Nasty), that the home is a mess, and that there are other problems there -- and list them for the call that you are going to make.

YOU have to make the choice -- do you want to continue on supporting 3 individuals (the infant, the 15 yr old and the mom) or do you want to go on with just you and (if it is yours) the Biological child.

MAKE That decision relatively soon -- because if you do not -- I can assure you that SHE will already be filing for Child Support soon -- and custody (maybe).

What scares me (and I have known women like this) -- is what happens if she dumps the child off somewhere and just leaves the infant? These women are either in trouble (due to mental illness or other problems) or ... just plain uncaring and want to continue with their party life style.

GET the DNA test done ASAP. Find out the Answer, and if it is positive, Go file for Custody and take care of the Infant as best you can. Just remember -- there is NO GOING BACK or 'FORGETTING' that you had an infant -- the child is born, the child needs a responsible parent for the first 18 years of life, and that responsible parent needs to be more than a money maker for the irresponsible parent.

Answer 3

First of all its not easy to have a perfectly clean house with a baby. Also it doesn't sound to hygenic that the 15 yr old wiped the floor then the babies mouth but she is only 15. I don' think you should tell her you don't want anything to do with her just because of a dirty house, you could continue to help out maybe your babies mother needs some help with house work. But as i said its not easy to keep on top of thing when you havejust had a baby, she is tired, probably up all night with the baby, all the nappy changing etc, try to be more understanding.

Answer 4

You shouldn't forget about your baby just because you don't like the way the Mom lives. You can't just run away and start over when things get a little tough. Trust me, being a parent is not easy but the benefits far outweigh the trials! One "I love you, Daddy" in the future will erase all the mess you are dealing with now.

You need to have a heart2heart talk with her and maybe you guys can come to some sort of agreement as to what each of your expectations are. You deserve to have your baby in your life and your baby deserves to have a father in his.

Hang in there and rally your support system (parents, friends, etc.) around you to help you sort all this out. Good Luck my friend!

Answer 5

It sounds to me like your being a bit bossy, like back in the old days when men had the "you're the weaker species, now listen to what I say or else." I can see where you're coming from though, but instead of spazzing out why don't you go down there and help her out a lot? A relationship is a two way door, you don't have to let her do all the work and it sounds like she has her hands full. It's harder then you think on a woman to raise children and still have time to clean the house.

Answer 6

Well for one you shouldn't have knocked up a woman that you felt was so nasty! And 2, you are a loser for wondering if you should just forget you have a baby and go on with your life because you don't like what is happening! Well too late for that!! This is the bed you made now time to get in it! A kid is nothing that you should forget and go on-

You are no better than her- you deserve her!

Answer 7

First of all help clean up if your so worried about it. Second it is disgusting to have any type of bowels in your house on the floor or where ever. look up some info to show her all the germs she is exposing this infant to. The baby will get sick all the time if there is dog poop around them. Why don't you keep the baby at your house.

Answer 8

You can't "forget" you have a baby and start over. You're in this til the end - that baby needs you. He needs you to be there for him and to guide his mother. All you can do is be consistent with the mother in telling her how you feel about the cleanliness of her house. If you think the baby is in danger living in that house, you do have the option of calling social services - I'm sure they can talk her into cleaning up and make a better environment for your baby. Yes, you could help her clean it, but you can't guarantee it'll stay that way...

Answer 9

didn't you see her house when you were dating ? or having sex there? offer to clean it up yourself without comments; it is her house; she has her hands full and you are complaining, giving everyone something else to deal with; obviously you are only half in this relationship but didn't choose to use protection to make sure that when you had a child, it would be the best environment for the child not just for you to have a good time and now make demands. You are the one acting childish; she is being responsible; if you have a problem with cleaning; hire a maid for her; problem solved.

Answer 10

Your child should not be living in those conditions, I'm not Molly maid but that's nasty. Go after custody of your child if you feel you can provide better for her maybe that alone will cause her to change her ways. You should never forget you have a child, she is yours no matter what and you are just as responsible for her stand up be a man and do something about the problem.