I am looking for some advice. I am 22, female, and live very happily with my boyfriend, 21,. He owns and opperates several import and export businesses with his father. We live very well and have a hugh family and lots of friends. My boyfriend works very hard and is always extremly busy with clients and meetings ect.
Recently I have discovered that my boyfriend is on a very high medication of stress and depression relief tablets.I honestly did not know there was a problem. Every time I mention it he refuses to talk about it and it causes a row.
2006-11-19 07:38:35 · 11 answers · asked by mip_010 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
get to stepping. your young yet. so lets just move on. you dont want your life tied up with this.
2006-11-19 07:41:59 · answer #1 · answered by just hanging around 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a tricky situation. You could try writing him a letter that you give to him when he's got some quiet time (with you away for a few hours - not looking over his shoulder)explaining how you feel about him. Tell him all the things you love about him - importantly mention the stuff that isn't work or money related - and say that no matter what he did you would still feel that way. Let him know how much you value him and the things he brings to your life, and that you want him to know he can come to you and talk about anything no matter what.
He may be feeling a failure that he is on those medications but you should let him know it doesn't change the way you feel, and that you would be happy to talk about it if he ever felt he wanted to share things.
make sure its a very positive and loving letter, try to keep it all about you and the way you feel so he doesn't feel attacked or judged. Make it a 'no strings attached' letter.
Once you've given it to him i would let the matter drop until he brings it up - you don't have a lot of choice. But i suspect by letting him know you still love him and are okay with him whatever his job/personal situation it might take the pressure off him and he will open up to you a bit more.
Best wishes.
2006-11-19 08:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by Deeny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no need to worry, as it's probably the reason why he's successfull today.
Oftentimes, people associate a stigma to those who are diagnosed with depression or mood disorders, as if they are crazy or radioactive. This is the reason why he's hesitent to speak about this openly, as he subscribes to the same stigmas as most people.
I look at depression and anxiety illness no different than an infectious disease or virus. Say you had pneumonia and could not go to work or get out of bed for a week and take medication or the virus could get worse, even fatal. You would have no problem expressing this to anyone and it would be mutually acceptable.
How is a mental illness any different?
What if you had to take a short leave of absence from work, because you were feeling terrible inside?
If you saw a Dr, took medication and after a few weeks/month, got your head straitened out, should you be painted as a crazy or a nut case?
I don't think so.
Historically, medicine didn't have the answer for depression or various mental disorders. Modern science has helped us take better care of ourselves mentally and ultimately improved our lives.
If you are concerned about your boyfriend; tell him that you want to learn why he's taking the meds, if he's seeing a Dr. and how it's worked for him thus far and how he feels about being on medication. If you come to him with this approach, he should open up to you.
2006-11-20 04:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by Altruist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the ONLY thing that you have discovered is this medication, so what? Apparently you have not discovered any behaviors or problems with a certain behavior or you'd be worried about that. So? Okay, he's on a high dose of medication. If this keeps him 'sane', then don't worry about it.
Research it on the internet or at the library if he won't talk about it. Sounds like you are afraid of 'not being in the know'. Put yourself in the 'know' by doing your own research if he won't talk about it. Maybe he's not ready to talk about it yet.
As long as he is rational and logical, go on with life as usual.
If you use your energy and your time to do a little research on the medication yourself, you'll arm yourself with the knowledge of knowing what to look for if he stops taking the medication or if he needs to have it re-evaluated.
Don't be angry with him. Men have a hard time admitting that they need medication for anything. Especially if it's for depression and stress. Hey, if it's helping him, leave it alone. At least he had sense enough to go to a doctor and get on something instead of doing it some other way with other kinds of drugs. At least he didn't let himself get 'out of control' like so many of us know we can do.
2006-11-19 07:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by Doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then do not bring it up anymore because it is just adding to his stress. Sounds like his job is high pressure and that could be the reason right there.
You need to try to find ways to help him relieve stress without mentioning it to him. Try to maintain an environment of a soothing nature. Encourage him to get exercise at the gym or simply taking a walk after dinner. Inform yourself about the condition and figure out ways to help. confronting him on the issue is not going to help at all. If he is going to talk about it with you, he will do it when he is ready. You just be supportive and try to solve your own problems on your own and not add to his load. If you love him it is not too much to ask.
2006-11-19 07:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask if a family member or a relative can talk to him at first. This is hard, we all know that. He is probably in denial of something. See if you can get him to get some therapy, and see what is wrong with him. Tell him you are worried about him and that you want to know what is going on. Why dont you do the reverse roleplay? You act like him and see if he likes it, if he doesnt, he is more likely to change.
2006-11-19 07:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by DARIA. - JOINED MAY 2006 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe just ask him to take some time off and relax ,sounds like he is a work aholic and needs to take a breather having money is nice, but if he gets run down too much what good would it do for him? ask him to make room for his wife you miss him with all the hours he is workin,he married you to be with you family must come first.maybe taking sometime to be together he can cut b ack on those pills definetley not healthy at all.set up an appt with his doctor and go with him and mention your concerns with him
2006-11-19 07:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well My guess is he has a form of mental illness like bipolar. I don't think you should be upset with him. He maybe is afraid to talk to you about it in case you think you are with a freak. You are not. It is an illness that is being medicated. He is not crazy nor is he doing drugs. Chill and love him. He will let you know all you need to know in time.
2006-11-19 07:54:46 · answer #8 · answered by JAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might be hard for you but....
Threatan to break up with him.
If he can't talk to you about that then maybe he isnt the guy for you.
: (
You should'nt be kept away from your partners problems.
2006-11-19 07:49:10 · answer #9 · answered by Guy Who Brushes His Teeth* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing you are his first girl friend and his Dad controld his life.
2006-11-19 08:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋