Reccently my husband lost temper with his grandson who is 16. He hit him several times. We talked, and he said he was sorry and would not let additude get in the way of judgement again.
For the past while it hasn't been a problem, or so I thought. Today, my granddaughter - who is not living with us - approached me with the concern that my husband was hitting my 16-year-old-grandson.
I asked her why he didn't say anything, and she replied, "Cause when Dad lived with us, Dad hit him all the time and nothing was ever done 'till I told you."
Then here's the real kicker - he was reading today and my husband took the book and hit him in the eye with it!
I can't go to his mother, his father's in prison. I'm not sure what to do, any advice?
2006-11-19 07:22:19 · 7 answers · asked by CandyCorn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your husband has to realize he has a problem and you need to lay it on the line for him. If you love your grandson and I am assuming you do just by writing in this forum, then realize he is depending on you or any adult to protect him!!!!! All children want to be protected and that's why as a parent and in your case taking care of him we are obligated to look out for their best interest and put our own needs/wants and feelings on a back burner. When they turn 18 hopefully we have prepared them for the world, that's our job as parents!!!! He cannot defend himself right now, he needs you to stand up to your husband for him. There are so many organizations for help in these matters, your husband needs your help too. Tell him you love him but you will not see him put his hands on the kids anymore, that he didn't like it when it was done to him and does he really want to make his grandchildren feel like he felt? Help him find help. And here's your start
www.ndvh.org
I come from a home of neglect. I helped myself at 17 giving up everything I ever knew. I was a good student, varsity cheerleader, popular, involved at school and no one knew. I gave up my friends, family and everything I had at school, I talked to a state trooper who got the proper people involved and I left home and went to a foster home for my senior year of school, never to be hit again. And believe me ..... I was scared. But ... I made it.
2006-11-19 07:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by dribble 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you will do it, but you should call the child abuse hotline. CPS will get involved. It is not likely at all that any children will be removed, what will happen is that a caseworker will get involved, talk with everyone, get all the truths (past and present) out into the open, and help you guys find some family counseling you can afford.
The reason I think you should call the hotline is because doing all this on your own, without some outside guidance is very difficult, and very unlikely that you would follow through properly. That's just the reality of the situation.
If you do not do it, get ready for abused great grandkids. More abusers will join your family, and the ante will be upped. Someone may get killed. Family violence is like a disease, and you need an antibiotic.
Call the child abuse hotline right now, while there is still a minor involved. It's near the front of your phone book. Tell them what you wrote us. It will get crazy at your house and with your family, but in the end, you may end the pattern of violence. Good luck.
2006-11-19 07:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me there is a pattern of anger here. Your husband needs to excrete his anger on some THING else. Can you talk to him to find out what is bothering him? The grandson will be the same way when he becomes a man if the problem is not approached now. I live in a family of angry men. Each generation gets a bit better. I can only hope and pray my son will be the broken link from the anger. Love them both, but talk, or even find help.
2006-11-19 07:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by combratable 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would defantly put a stop to this. I also was abused by a stepfather and the pain never goes away. The grandson needs to go to a safe place. this just aint right. not for him. please get him some help now before he grows up to be as bitter and the grandfather and father is. This may cause him to be trouble when he gets older and cause him to be killed.
2006-11-19 07:27:38 · answer #4 · answered by valerie s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Protect that child. That is child abuse and you are allowing it. Therefore you will get in trouble also. Apparently talking to your husband is not enough. That book could have done some real damage, if it hasn't and he's not willing to say anything. That child is first and foremost.
2006-11-19 07:27:04 · answer #5 · answered by dnisey64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you being hit too?
If not tell your husband to stop it and he is going to permanently damage the relationship with his grandson, if not already.
If yes, get you and your grandchildren away. Abuse is horrible and you need to be kept safe.
2006-11-19 07:32:22 · answer #6 · answered by QueenofLeon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're unable to protect your g'son........go to the authorities.
2006-11-19 07:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋