i'm 24 and i can' t stand human contact...i feel really awkward when people hug me oreven just a kiss on the cheek...i'm not even talking about sentimental relationships...i simply can't stand it!!!!why?
i've been abused when i was a child,not raped but abused...does it explain everything?
will i ever lead a normal life?
2006-11-19 06:59:47 · 17 answers · asked by lola_blue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I am a fellow person who doesn't like being touched by people who I don't know or the casual acquaintances. I am usually the one who puts out my hand for the handshake if I see the person going in for a hug. If I was you I would not think of not wanting to be touched by casual acquaintances in terms of normal or not. I would think of it as a trust issue when you feel comfortable then you will be comfortable with the hug or kiss on the cheek.
2006-11-19 07:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by avid_rafter765 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably think I am crazy.
I think from abuse, your body is really dialed in on protecting you in situations where someone is holding you.
Suggestion:This is one way how children, who do not like to be hugged, held or touched, are introduced to positive tactile sensations.
Fill some long tube socks with sand and tie off the ends really good with rubber bands. For a few minutes a day lay down and put the sandsocks across different parts of your body. The weights will trigger your response to being held, possibly some reactions to being held in past abuse situations.
Your job is to remain calm and breathe through your negative reactions. Over time, the body will react differently to the weight of the sandsocks and hugs or being held.
Good luck. Hugs are one of the best things about being human and you should not be missing out!
2006-11-19 15:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by murkglider 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen other people with the same problem,They felt violated even if a friend came up and hugged them, they were constantly on guard of their space,as for how they dealt with I am not sure but perhaps if you sought counselling they might help you understand why this is happening, and how to cope with it as it has to be very uncomfortable for you to be in a palace where you do not have control over the situation, I can not even begin to imagine the pain this must cause you, I truly hope you are able to get help with this
2006-11-19 15:08:34 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have boundary issues. As a child, you were abused, which means, at the least, someone seriously overstepped your personal boundaries. I totally understand, as I was also abused, and sometimes when a man touches me I start to wonder how far he will push it... because men invariably DO push. Have you thought to get counsiling... although, perhaps, you don't need it; you just have stricter bounderies than most.
2006-11-19 15:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by Audania 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its ok if you dont like to be touched. I mean my bf hated to be touched and sometimes he would get nervous in large crowds. His parents thought this was abnormal and were always asking if he was on drugs or something else stupid like that.
he is getting better because he hates hugs and to be touched except from me, so you will eventually find someone that you would like to hug and touch.
dont let anyone tell you thats not normal because it is, you are not required to be a touchy person and thats just not you.If its normal to have a preference of what foods you like, then its normal to to have a preference on what kind of human contact you have.
2006-11-19 15:04:27 · answer #5 · answered by Mayor McKim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think being abused has something to do with it. You're probably scared to open up, because you don't know if you'll get hurt again in the future by one of these people, and not physically hurt, but I think emotionally and mentally hurt.
2006-11-19 15:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by uhd0rableo8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, i think you'll be ok. the abuse could have had the opposite effect which in my opinion, is far worse. i respect people's 'space' and i'm not a huggy touchy person either. but with my fiance i am. i think that you'll meet someone one day and you won't mind it. if you do fall in love and the problem persists though counseling could help. good luck.
2006-11-19 15:05:59 · answer #7 · answered by d☻min☺ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course you will have a normal life,late 30's you will,if you really have problems where you attack someone if they touch you,see a doctor,but just are awkward then just you are closterphobic,i am the same way,even eye contact i feel sick,but I am geting through it,good luck
2006-11-19 15:03:45 · answer #8 · answered by KaeyKaey52 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is to have contact with ur closest family or friend like hugging or gently touching and go to God for support
2006-11-19 15:05:32 · answer #9 · answered by Sameer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the abuse is probably affecting it.. its possible that you have anxiety because of it. first you could try going to go to therapy and talking with someone, and then in a couple of months if you don't feel better you could always go to the doctor and have them prescribe you medication.
2006-11-19 15:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by piratelove22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋