The reason I ask is because I have had 2 other children with him and both times he has embaressed me. The first time with our daughter all he did was play video games which was ok I guess he was scared but the second time with our son I was having a hard time because he weighed over 9 pounds he yells out "Damn I thought it was bad when I got shot" and as soon as he said it I yelled somebody give me a gun please but I seriously was mad and he plays the guitar and I am so afraid he is going to bring his guitar up there so am I wrong?by the way he is a great dad in every way.
2006-11-19 06:52:02 · 18 answers · asked by fluttergirl2004 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think every guy who is about to witness a birth suddenly finds himself in a very awkward situation that he is not prepared to deal with. Let's face it, they hardly can stand going tothe doctor's appointments each month- the prospect of watching another person come out of their partner is pretty intimidating. The way they act when they have to be the calm one, is to be completely weird. Usually, the mom is the put-together one, who has everything in order and has everything taken care of. Now, it is dad's turn, and that can be really intimidating when they don't feel calm inside. They aren't as good at managing stressful situations, and so, they appear to act bizzare. As long as he is a good dad, who is willing to be in the room with you as you bring your new blessing into your life, I'd say you have it good. You can overlook his behavior for the day- he's just really nervous. Most likely he is really worried about how everything will go, if the baby will be ok, and if all will go ok with you. These are the most important people in his life, and that makes this day very nervewracking for him. Making bad jokes and trying to occupy his mind is his way of coping with the stress he is feeling on this important day. It's perfectly ok to feel irritated about his behavior (just about everything tends to irritate a person who is in extreme pain!) but cut him a little slack... he is just concerned.
2006-11-19 08:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if I were you, I wouldn't feel guilty about not wanting him there- what a selfish self-centred man! I wouldn't want someone like that there with me!
I really hate men who are so obsessed about being "cool" and "Macho" and think that they are so above being a loving sensitive man when their wives/partners need them most of all.
Is he like this all the time, or do you think he could be man enough to actually listen to you and be there for you in a positive supportive way?
If not, and he wants to behave like a child, then you are definitely much better off without him- Oh, and I wouldn't be having any more of his kids either!
All the best with the birth- take someone else who will give you the support you deserve!
2006-11-19 19:02:59 · answer #2 · answered by LadyTraveller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before banning him from the room -- after all, it's his child too -- you might try talking to him about your feelings. Tell him about the things he's done and said the past that have made you uncomfortable and embarrassed. He probably just isn't sure how he should act -- seeing the women they love go through so much pain may make many men feel helpless, and perhaps this is his way of dealing with the helplessness he feels. Good luck!
2006-11-19 15:01:30 · answer #3 · answered by RaineeRose 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok honestly this is your body you have to go through this if you want to take a friend or your mother with you that is fine. If you have talked to him and don't think he'll be able to control himself then he can wait outside like everybody else. you need someone who is going to be supportive of you and your needs while you are going through this. I had my best friend my mother and my hubby with me. His job was to get coffee and hold my hand when I needed him. Honestly I think he was relieved that there were other people there to deal with the hard stuff. Good Luck with your precious new bundle!
2006-11-19 17:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by Heather T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I apologize for what you had to go through in the past. You shouldn't feel bad about not wanting him to come in. It's one of the most difficult things you will go through (giving birth). You don't need any more stress.
You need to be relaxed. Have a good friend or family member stay with you. Don't feel guilty either.
good luck
2006-11-19 14:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by doreen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wonder if instead of not having him in there, you can talk to him about your expectations of him during the delivery...
can you be really clear with him about what's helpful and not helpful to you in that situation so that you can share in the moment and not be embarrassed at the same time? if he's a great dad in every way, he'll probably understand... if you can't get through to him, is there someone who can make it clearer for him (like a brother/friend/his dad??)
hope it works out- good luck~
2006-11-19 14:54:03 · answer #6 · answered by Johnny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but NOBODY had the right to be in the delivery room- NOBODY!! To me that is a private moment- it doesn't matter that it's his child or not because that is YOUR body and your body only!!! When the kid comes out then yeah- he should be allowed in to see his baby but he doesn't need to be there for the delivery!
2006-11-19 18:45:35 · answer #7 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try talking to him first and telling him exactly what you just said here. If he won't listen then I for sure would just not have him there. That's the last thing that you need to worry about when you're in labor.
2006-11-19 14:58:58 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥♥♥♥calimama♥♥♥♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter that he is the father. No one has the right to be there but the one actually in labor. I would simply tell him, no toys allowed and if he can't behave himself he will be asked to leave.
2006-11-19 15:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by elizabeth32132 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st i would talk to him about it and see what he says...if u still feel uncomfortable tell him you dont want him in there....its up to u cuz ur the one doin the hard work....if hes not gonna support you in any way y have him be in there...its jus another person takin up space....good luck and i hope he will support u
2006-11-19 16:28:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋