This guy and I were together for a long time until the relationship eventually turned sour. Now, we've become more of a friends with benefits type thing. He's the one person I trust besides my mother. Since our break up he's been with another woman and so have I, a man but that hasn't changed anything. We still speak and act the way we did when we were together. How can we make this work without either of us getting attached. I don't know about us actually being together in the long run, we're not ready for that yet, or atleast I'm not. But as for now, this is the situation that's going to have to work.
2006-11-19 06:41:55 · 17 answers · asked by silence_within_chaos 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you both have to understand that you are only friends....it will be fine until one of you meet someone else then the whole jealousy thing will cut in.....expecially if one of you want more than just sex from the relationship....make sure your on the save wave length and want the same thing......if your not then it might be a good idea to stay friends but take away the benefits.....
2006-11-19 06:46:36 · answer #1 · answered by askaway 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in that situation before and you need to make it clear to each other that you only want something casual. It is hard to cross that line of just being friends because it seems a given that someone will become too attached. Be open with each other and make sure you always know where you stand so that you can be with each other and other people and not be hurt by that. Be sure you can handle this, else just being friends might be best.
2006-11-19 14:47:45 · answer #2 · answered by Simone H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stop the friends w/benefits cause it will break your heart when you see him with some one else. There is no way where you can be with him and not feel attached. i know how it feels when the guy you likes is messing with a nother gurl because you and him were not together. it sucks but still, i wouldnt want you to get your heart broken. Go with a nother guy. Have fun
2006-11-19 14:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you two are still fooling around I take it? It's sounds like it might be LOVE to me! You will probably BOTH get hurt, but if you are meant to be be together, other people will not matter in the end, and the pain you put eachother through will be worth it. Best friends, lovers, secret lovers, lovers in denial, buddies, X's... what's the difference what the label is or how long it takes. you wouldn't be hanging around eachother so much, despite new relationships if you could "stand" being apart from eachother, right? just my oppinion! GOOD LUCK!
2006-11-19 14:48:50 · answer #4 · answered by Mayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends with benefits is a situation were the fantasy is always better the reality. I'm not saying it can never work but in your case it is obvious that you care about this guy. It is inevitable that you will get hurt eventually.
2006-11-19 14:49:10 · answer #5 · answered by DarkWolf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very very difficult. I personally think that there's some hormonal response in women during sex that encourages attachment, and that many women interpret that hormonal rush to be True Love, when it's really just chemicals. So you'd have to overcome that chemical rush and have a lot of really open communication. Having of open communication is rough as it requires having someone who is willing to communicate heavy stuff (jealousy, fear, insecurity, elation, anger) all the time.
(And if you find all that, maybe you should keep him, lol)
You got an uphill battle in front of you, girl. Best of luck!
2006-11-19 14:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by silverkitte1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl this isn't a video game, someones gonna get hurt.
Look what your doing and THINK about it. Who gets the bennifit. MY idea is Your friends or your not. NEVER EVER go between that. EVER! Friends are meant to be friends but not with benefits. cause if you do fall in love, and he doesnt feel it, hell get it out of you, and youll end up getting hurt
for the sake of your own heart, find a real man with real manners that will treat you right. God Bless =)
2006-11-19 14:46:19 · answer #7 · answered by Love is Patient, Love is Kind ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to work because there are already feelings there, as well as history.
To have a sucessful friends with benefits type arrangement, you both have to know up front that there will be no emotional attachments.
2006-11-19 14:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been down this same road and i promise you that its impossible to not have feelings for him. You have already dated this guy and devolped feelings for him once already and you can tell yourself that seeing him with other girls is ok but eventually it WILL bother you, even tho you do the same thing. In my case, we eventually grew apart and i still miss seeing him from time to time but it lead me to better things. Ive been with my husband for 7yrs now and married for 3yrs, with 3 little boys. I wouldnt go back if i could. All I can say is to follow your heart and hope like hell, it doesnt get broken. =)
2006-11-19 14:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by Danelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him and tell him about the fact that you still have feelings for him. If he opts to leave then let him go. However, if he tells you that he wants to give the relationship another try then go for it. But you got to be honest with yourself, if he doesn't want to give this relationship another try then you have to let him go because your feelings are not going to go anywhere and every time he's telling you about the other women you are seething inside because your feelings are hurt. Therefore, you are only hurting yourself. Sometimes its best to leave well enough alone.
2006-11-19 14:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by Sexcchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋