My five year old will not poop in the potty, help!?

Question

My son is five years old. He was completely potty trained by three. When he was four we moved afterwhich he refused to poop in the potty. He pees, but will not sit to poop. Instead he poops in his underwear. The worst of it is he never says a word, he waits for you to find out. He will sit in it until sommeone cleans him. We've tried putting him back in pull ups, but thenm he won't pee in the potty either. We've tried rewards for going in the potty, but he will just go a little bit then after he gets the prize he poops in his pants again. We've seen the doctor \, they gave us a gentle laxative and said he should grow out of it. It's been a year will no changes. If we try to make him sit on the potty until he goes, he screams like we are trying to kill him! He goes to school now and gets upset when the other kids find out, but still refuses to go. We've run out of ideas and no one seems to know a solution.

Answer 1

I have a friend who went through he same thing with her 5 year old boy. Here's my advice;

1) Don't get angry. When he poops in his pants let him know that you are disappointed but not angry.

2) Have a big treat at the end of the week. If he can go in the potty for 1 week without an accident, he can have (insert something he wants here).

3) Use positive peer pressure. Let him know that "Tommy" doesn't poop in his pants and wouldn't it be embarrassing to have an accident at his house.

4) Make him clean up after himself. Five is old enough to get in the shower, clean your own bum, dump the poop into the toilet, and take the dirty underwear to a bucket next to the washing machine. This is a natural consequence and it will be more work for you to 'supervise' but it works.

5) Make a chart of the time of each BM. Usually kids go poop about the same time every day. When it is that time of day, take him to the potty and massage his lower back. This will help him to relax, and stimulate his bowels at the same time.

Good Luck

Answer 2

U Know What Thats Exactly What My Nephew Does What We Did Was When He Poopped In His Pants We Left Him Like That And Kept Whining About How He Felt Stinky But We Told Him If U Feel Stinky Then Dont Poop In Ur Pants No MOre Cuz If U Do We Are Not Gonna Change U So He Started Pooing In Da toilet.I Hope This Was Helpful

Answer 3

Don't take away privileges, or use rewards. These things will not solve the problem because they are not a logical consequence. A logic consequence for this is that he is held responsible and that his peers may find out. Often times children soil themselves because it is something in their lives that only they can control, it feels powerful, and they get attention for it, even if it is negative attention, it is still attention. Help him to feel powerful in positive ways by saying thing like "You did that by yourself!" "You can run super fast!" "Look how high you can jump!" "You used so many colors on your painting." These phrases are great confidence boosters, are great ways for you to show love and attention, and great ways for him to feel powerful in a positive way.

This issue is your son's issue. If you insist he will resist. Let it go for a few days. You may want to count out the remainder of his pull ups with him and say "After 8 more pull ups you get to use the toilet" or put him in clothing that he can get on and off without help including big boy underwear. If he soils his underwear hold him responsible for ALL of the clean up. Say to him "It looks like you need to change." Give it no more attention than that. He can shake the poop in the toilet, rinse them out, put them in the laundry, clean himself, and put on clean clothing. He will soon learn that it is much easier to use the toilet. Good luck!

Answer 4

try making it a funtime to be in the washroom by sitting in the washroom with him and dont rush him either just try talking nicely with him reading a book to him may be get a little table to play a game on while your waiting for the big event to happen and he may fuzz at first but reasure him your not going anywhere also keep door to bathroom open because you dont want him to feel trapped either because that could make a child not wanna be in a washroom on the potty. When he does finally go poopy say loudly with excitment HURRAYYYYYY! then gentle explain your gonna wipe and then remove him from potty let him see what he's done With excitment in your voice say bye poopy bye and wave then flush the toilet.
Please note Don't get mad at him for his errors because that will cause a child to shut down and withdraw. Remember your an adult he is still a baby even though he is 5 yrs he still learning. If he has was going fine before you moved then think about it What happened? Could be fear of new enviroment or something else?
But try to start over praise him encourage him especially if he comes to you just a sec before it happens or even if it does happen. Even if its a false call on the potty still say hurray make him feel its a good thing to poopy on the toilet and even if he only tried but nothing happened. there is toilet seats for children that attach onto your bathroom seat maybe that can help because if a child feels like their falling into or the fear of falling into the toilet can cause a child not to want to go on there to poopy so maybe buy that seat to attach to your toilet for him.
It may take alot of effort on your part BUT THAT'S WHAT BEING A PARENT IS ALL ABOUT! Be greatful everyday for your child!
This is coming from a person who knows first hand about potty trainig boys especially how hard it can be, if you stress about it. So don't stress just go with the flow, even if you have him take you to the washroom a hundred times and their false calls STILL PRASIE HIM because he coming to you he trying to figure out for himself aswell the feeling for the urge to go poopy. So if he felt it he comes to you take him to the potty even if it was a false just be happy about sometimes it could take awhile if your child doesnt go for 15 minutes after sitting on potty then take him off and tell him nicely ok we try again when your ready but never make a child sit there too long either. You may have flase ones but eventually it will be a real one and another after that then so on and soon he be going by himself on day. Just be patient.

Answer 5

Tell him that his friends won't let him come to their house til hes potty trained. And that he's not acting like a "big boy" Oh yeah...maybe you could just leave him in the bathroom until he goes on the potty, even though he screams so he sees you're serious

Answer 6

If he was doing it before you moved, maybe this toilet is bigger or the room is scary to him for some reason. Also, he may not have wished to move and subconsciously this is his way to protest, not even realizing why. If you can't get him to speak with you and your husband about why he won't use the potty, try having grandpa or grandma or someone he trusts to talk with him about it and ask him to explain why.

Answer 7

He will grow out of it but until he does i would maybe suggest getting a tent and telling him that this is his own personel secrete place to go to the potty to go poopy and no one else is aloud to go potty in it expect him. That my help bc it is his own little place of his own and he might feel cool about it and that might motovate him to go to the potty when he has to to go.
GOOD LUCK.

Answer 8

TAKE HIM OUT OF SCHOOL UNTIL HE CAN WIPE HIMSELF....THIS IS COMMON....DO NOT SPANK HIM OR REPREMAND HIM FURTHER... TELL HIM YOU WILL WHIPE HIIM CLEAN AFTER POOPING IN THE COMMODE...WHENEVER HE NEEDS TO GO JUST GO, AND CALL ME WHEN YOU NEED MY HELP TO WHIPE.
NOW STOP MAKING THE POOR KID SIT ON THE COMMODE, THAT IS CRAZY! STOP MAKING A BIG TO-DO OUT OF IT...IT WILL ONLY FRUSTRATE THE CHILD AND YOURSELF...THIS WORKS...DO IT! QUIT MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT AND DON'T TELL HIM YOUR TAKING HIM OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE HE DOES NOT WHIPE HIMSELF...DO NOT BE-LITTLE HIM IN ANY WAY...JUST AS A MATTER A FACT, WHEN HE ASKS ABOUT SCHOOL, SAY YOU KNOW SON, WHEN YOU ARE MORE CONFIDENT TO POTTY IN THE COMMODE AND WHIPE YOURSELF YOU WILL BE READY FOR SCHOOL, I LOVE YOU AND IT IS OK FOR NOW THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE TO POTTY IN THE COMMODE...REVERSE PSYCOLOGY WORKS...AND CHILLING OUT WILL WORK...HE WILL GET IT...QUIT FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT...AND FOR THE FUTURE...THIS WORKS WITH EVERYTHING ELSE HE DOES OR WANTS...JUST CHILL OUT...IF YOU MAKE A BIG STINK OUT OF IT...IT ALWAYS GETS WORSE...LIKE CUSSING OUT SOMEONE WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY WITH THEM...WHAT DOES THIS GET YOU...JUST MORE FRUSTRATING RESULTS...RELAX AND BE RELAXED IN RAISING YOUR CHILD...AND HE WILL RELAX AND HIS LITTLE MIND WILL FIGURE OUT THAT THE COMMODE IS A HAVEN OF GREAT RELIEF OVER TIME...YOU UNDOUBTLY HAVE AIDED IN DESTROYING HIS CONFIDENCE IN POTTING ON THE COMMODE...IT HAS TO BE HIS IDEA...REALLY!