My mother has been controlling, she resents my attention that i give to my husband?

Question

i dont know if this is normal, she says i dont show concern for her only for my husband// unsure what i should be concerned about, my husband has medical issues, she is jealous of attention i give to him// she says he cannot discipline my daughter since he is not the fahter, she nit picks how i am with my daughter, she says i should always answer my phone because what if someone was killed // died? she says if i loved her i would contact my sister (whom they had a falling out) to make sure she is alive. She is upset because i didnt offer to host thanksgiving? she is made at me because i wasnt all upety about our wedding decorations, she says, i dont know what to do she has me convinced i am horrible person

Answer 1

Oh yay, parents.

Fact is, she has no bearing on what you and your hubby do in rearing your children (biological or not). You are the functional unit. Tell her that. If she doesn't respect it...reduce the time she is allowed to be around you two. Tell her that you love her, but you have to keep the best interests of your family at heart and she is meddling in business she shouldn't bother with. Tell her that she either stopps or you will have to disallow visits with the kiddos to keep their best interest at heart.

Grandchildren are a privlidge not a right.


She is your momma and I know you love her. I hate it when this type of thing happens. She is jealous of something, maybe it is because she wants to monopolize your love or maybe she is just alone. Tell her you want to help her and have her be a major part of your life and your childrens life. Offer family visits to the psychologist. Grandparents are a blessing and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't have had my Dad's Mom and Dad involved in my life. However, it was a healthy involvement...

I am sorry you are stuck in the middle. That sucks so bad.

Answer 2

Rest assured you are not a horrible person. Ever heard of that movie Monster-in-law and maybe she needs to watch it too. if not rent,buy, or whatever just see it. She is a miserable women and she wants you to be to. If I were you I would tell her nicely that although her options are well taken you would like to do things your way.

She is your daughter and you know what is right for her. As for the phone thing if they need to understand that you are a mother, wife, caregiver,and most important you have a million things to do. They can leave a message that it is important and you need to call them back right away. Not that hard.

She is your sister and you know what is right for you. If you don't want to deal with a butch of Nit picking and bad mouthing that she gives you then I don't blame you for not hosting thanksgiving. I wouldn't . Your wedding you know what you want and like. Besides they never remember the decorations only how beautiful the bride was.

Again I repeat you are not a horrible person. Far from I wish you all the luck.

Answer 3

Your husband has every right to beyour priority, not your mother. Your mom is probably feeling a little left out because she doesnt feel that she is getting the attention that she wants. This is very normal. However, you just need to talk it over with your mom, and she probably wont listen, but at least she will know how you feel, and then she can start to move past it. It sounds like your doing everything right, just dont take anything personally. Keep doing what your doing and give your husband the devotion that you promised during your vows.

Answer 4

When you marry, you leave your mother/home and pledge devotion and loyalty to your husband. I've seen so many relationships ruined when one spouse is torn between loyalties and chooses a parent over the spouse.

Your mother sounds very controlling and a bit sad with issues of her own. You have your hands full raising your daughter and forging a family with your new husband. Give them the full attention they deserve. And when your mother sees the choice you've made, be prepared for things to get worse before they get better, but if you stick to your guns, she'll get the hint.

Answer 5

She is a typical "mother" who never will admit that their children has grown up. I don't know how tough you are, but you need to tell her that she gave you birth so you could get a family of your own and now you have it. Tell her she can come and visit, but any interfering with how you live will result in a phone call for a taxi. Also tell her that you love her and if you need help, you'll ask her and also tell her that you'll help her if it's needed.
It sounds like she is lonely so she'd better get herself a man !

Answer 6

i think of you be attentive to the respond on your issue already, yet are too scared to confess it. each and every time something occurs, you're making a psychological observe of it. I even have worked for some years with sufferers with MS and that i'm sorry to declare this, yet MS sufferers are wide-unfold for being pedantic and could concentration on one element. you are able to take the long highway or the fast one. The long one is you publish with it. you realize the place he comes from, dysfunctional kinfolk, serving in marines has all had an effect on him making it confusing for him to overcome his shortcomings. you are able to learn suggestions on a thank you to administration this and don't complication what everyone else says. there is an previous asserting "to err is human - to forgive divine". A broken relationship can in no way be healed except we forgive people who've disillusioned us. Oh specific, i'm the 1st to confess that it is not person-friendly, yet after 31 years of marriage i'm constructive I even have learnt something approximately marriage by potential of now. properly all of us be attentive to what the fast one is and it somewhat is the single many take, whilst issues get too stressful. existence is packed with surprises, so we would desire to make the better of daily because all of it is going too speedy. talk on your infants, proportion your love with them, you do no longer would desire to tell them each thing yet you would be shocked how plenty your infants already be attentive to and how sensible they're. They if everyone, in all probability be attentive to you extra useful than everyone else as they stay with you each and daily. shop talking issues out, tell your husband all your fears and concerns and whilst he knows them you are able to paintings collectively to make stronger your relationship.

Answer 7

Tell her those sounds like lovely ideas and you're going to start doing them right away. Then do exactly what you want, don't add her ideas on your list of things to do.

Answer 8

You mother is an unbalanced control freak..
You sound quite reasonable...
You are now a family with your husband...
You mother needs to let go...

Answer 9

Distance yourself from her and live your own life with your husband and kids. She has no positive influence here, so you need to minimize your involvement with her.

Answer 10

Tell mom to hop back on her broom and fly away...