I have been dating and living with my bf for 4 mouths now. He just recently (7 mouths about) got out of a 4 year relationship. And says that he still wants to keep in touch with her and remain friends. They go out for coffee sometimes but recently it’s been a little more frequent. He went out with her on Thursday and than on sat. The only thing is that he lied about going out for coffee with her on Sat. He said that his buddy was picking him up from work and dropping him off He claimed that work was busy and he might stay late too. When a car didn’t pull into the house and he walked from down the street I confronted him and asked him why he lied. He still said that his friend drove him home. Finally he admitted that he was with her and said he lied because he knew I would be upset. Does that make it right???? I don’t know what I should do. Please Help!
2006-11-19 04:40:30 · 28 answers · asked by Carol S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has lied to you but it seems he was doing it to protect you, if he was hiding something he wouldnt have admitted to it. I think what you need to remember is that she is his ex for a reason, and trust me i know its hard when he has lied to you, i think you need to sit together and talk through his reasons for lying and maybe you need to go along one time and meet his ex with him. seeing them together will help you to decide wether you are right to be concerned or they are just friends.x
2006-11-19 05:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by lucy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/sJqAp
Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.
Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.
She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!
Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!
2016-07-20 01:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I have to agree with Ian you cannot keep them apart you will just have to wait and see how it pans out.
However don't you think it was a tad too fast moving in with someone you have only been with for 4 months and that had just come out of a serious relationship.
It is very common for people who have been in a relationship for a long time to start arguing a bit too much split up for a while and then realise that they actually do love each other so they get back together.
I am not saying this is the case with your BF but still it would've helped your relationship if you had waited a while before moving in with him
2006-11-19 06:14:54 · answer #3 · answered by Peachy Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He told you about the firstmeeting but not the second. He leid....first and foremost this is a no no in a relationship.....why did he lie.
My guess is he either thought himself this was too soon to be seeing her again and was embarassed to say OR something happened between them in terms of his feelings for teh ex in the first meeting and he had reason to hide the truth.
Either way I woudl not like to be fed lies and half truths. If there is no trust love becomes a spent force. Talk all through with him and if he is defensive or agressive in any way he is hiding the truth of it all.
You cannot change his feelings but you can state that lies hurt and cause damage........
2006-11-19 05:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both kind of rushed into the living together relationship - 4 yrs in a relationship is a long time, then 3 mths later you guys jump into a heavy relationship. Sounds as if his head isn't too clear. I believe he didn't want to hurt you - I think you need to ask him what his plans and thoughts are regarding his ex. He was upfront in the beginning that he wanted to remain friends with her. Let him know you want to be aware if he is having a change of mind. Then leave it...........
2006-11-19 04:50:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you live with him so you cant just break up, but if he really was a true bf he wouldnt lie to you, he would tell you the truth even tho it might hurt your feeling for you to know he was with his EX. So I'm saying that if he is truly sorry for lying to you.. you guys should keep going at it, but if it seems that he's spending a little too MUCH time with her that meens he still has feelings for her, because 4 years is plenty, so i suggest breaking up with him if it goes that far.
2006-11-19 04:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by IcanHelpyou:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/6Rtoy
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-26 03:51:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF he's lying this early in the relationship it means he will continue to lie. I'm sorry to break this news to you. The truth is often difficult to accept when you're in love. Yet you can always recover from it. Lying isn't easy for people with a conscience and its no way to protect someone you love. So take this early indication as sign to move on with your life and find someone worthy of your affection.
2006-11-19 04:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by qwertykph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he got together with you on the rebound mate! He hasnt given himself enough time to get his head together before meeting you. He maybe feels you two living together was a mistake and it was way too soon after the breakup with his ex, but its only just dawned on him. It may still work out for you both. He's maybe just needing to close a chapter in his life with her before settling with you. Tricky one this, as it could go anyway! Good luck mate!
2006-11-19 06:23:07 · answer #9 · answered by enigma64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the two of them to get on with it. There's obviously still a spark between them, & you've only known him for four months, which isn't long enough to know him properly. What else has he been lying about?
Find yourself another fella & be happy.
2006-11-19 04:53:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋