how do i break up with her without hurting her feelings?

Question

i am in a pickle, i got a regular g/f but also another one on the side whom i met not so long ago. i was with my reg g/f at a bar one night, we both had quite a bit too drink,i went to get some drinks and this gal started talking to me at the bar. i tried to break up the convo by ignoreing her but she was persistant so i ignored her totaly and went back to my g/f.so a while later i seen her again near the mens lav, as i tried to get in she pushed me in and and dragged me into the cubicle almost by force, i couldnt resist as i had a few. we made love in the cubicle and then went back to my g/f.she didn't notice a thing, but since then i have been seeing her secretly behind my g/f's back she told me she loves me.she is so much better at sex than my g/f but now im stuck in who i should choose her or my g/f whom i hve known for 3 years, will someone help pls?

Answer 1

look!! just tell her the truth, you seem to me like a selfish person, tell her now rather then later if you want to avoid heartache

Answer 2

You cheated on your girlfriend of three years. Tell her what happened, she deserves to know.

Fact is, you screwed up. If you don't tell your girl, she more than likely will hear it from somewhere else. She might also go in for a regular exam and find out she has an STD that you could have passed to her from someone else...then she will know. Be a man and have some emotional integrity. Tell her the truth.

Dump the other girl hardcore. If she doesn't listen, get a restraining order. Do this before you talk to your girlfriend. Be upfront and honest. Don't be passive aggressive, like ignoring her . Some people don't get the hint.


Start over. If your girlfriend has ANY self esteem, she will dump you, as she should. You wouldn't like it if she played around, right? You would respond the same way, right? Stuff happens. Just be honest and open. Answer her questions and accept the consequences. Then, start over. Fact is you probably subconsciously didn't want that serious of a relationship in the first place or you wouldn't have cheated.

I know you said the other girl forced you, but unless you can honestly say you were raped...which guys can get raped. If you were raped, this is a different story all together.

Oh, and if she raped you, call the cops. Call the cops. Period. At that point, you are a victim of a sexual assault. Tell your girlfriend exactly what happened after you tell the cops.

Answer 3

okay, how many here actually believe this story? My man goes to get drinks and isn't back in 5 minutes ; I go a hunting because I know exactly what kind of "tricks" are out there and I know the value of a good man. We are supposed to believe you were able to have sex in the cubicle w/o your gf noticing you were gone? I don't know about you but when my guy drinks the last thing that is going to happen is for him to start and finish sex in 15 minutes. It's an all nighter. If you are telling the truth then you should just be honest and break up. Someone always gets hurt in a break up it is unavoidable. If the new girl has been seeing you knowing you were already in a relationship then she will also keep a secret lover once you select her.

Answer 4

You are in a pickle. There is really no good way to break up with her. I would just talk to her and give the news, but I would do it in a kind way and try to not mention the woman you had sex with. It will be hard on her, but it's for the best. If she finds out that you are cheating on her through word of mouth or just seeing you, it will just be even worse. So good luck and I hope she takes it ok and maybe you two can still be friends (most likely not, but still say positive!)

Answer 5

I think you better be really careful with this situation, on the one and you have a girlfriend that probably love you very much. On the other hand you have a girl that is obviously a sex maniac. What makes you think that she isn't doing that to every good-looking guy that she sees. Maybe you should get one of your friends to go to the bar and hit on her. If she does the same thing with them I think maybe you better forget about her altogether even though the sex awful good remember sax isn't everything

Answer 6

Sounds like you need to come clean and make some decisions. Do you love your girlfriend, it doesn't sound like you do? Its only gonna be a matter of time before she finds you have been playing away! The bit on the side might not find you so attractive with no competition and whos to say shes not doing the dominant female thing to all drunk looking guys in her local pubs, would you trust her?

Answer 7

I call this the love vs. lust.

Who cares about you more? The girl who always want to sex you up, or the girl who goes out with you every night and you've known for three years.

Don't cheat on them both, just chose one.

And the break up part... we all must face the truth, there is no such thing as a break up that doesnt hurt anyone. The truth hurts, but you might as well break up with one of them, rather than cheating on her and misleading her.

Answer 8

unfortunately there is no easy answer to your question...sounds like you still love the current g/f and have a wild sex thing on the side...do you really want to ruin that?
are you a one woman man?
I would just ride that roller coaster until the situation resolves itself...however you might not want to do that as that usually leaves you without either of the women...so I think that maybe you should compare your feelings for each of them and leave the sex completely out of the equation...sex doesn't make the relationship...you need to think about what your heart feels and go with that decision.

Answer 9

I don't know of any way in this scenario that your girlfriend is not going to be hurt.

I don't buy the whole rape thing either. Look, you sound like you're trying to come out of this without a guilty conscience. Good luck with that. You cheated. You have continued to cheat.

Just tell her you're seeing someone else and that you're sorry it didn't work out.

You really think the lavgirl is a keeper? Yuck..........can you say get tested?

Answer 10

Do you really want a woman who drags total strangers into public lavs? lol. Teach your long term g/f to be the kind of lover you want her to be and run a mile from the other one!

Answer 11

There's no way to do it without hurting her feelings unless she wants to break up too! But do you wanna break up with her because the sex is better with the one on the side? That is just WRONG!