Grandma had baby baptized as Catholic behind parents' back. Out of line?

Question

Friends of mine refused to listen to the maternal grandmother's repeated pleas to have the baby baptized. No problem for Grandma. While babysitting, she just trucked the kid over to her priest and had it done.

The father is absolutely torqued and doesn't trust Grandma to be around the kid unsupervised. The mother is in a bad position because, after all, this is her mom.

Was Grandma out of line here? What say you?

Additional info: The parents are not Catholic; they are of another Christian denomination.

Answer 1

The Grandmother was out of line.

It was not her decision to make at all, let alone in defiance of the wishes of the parents.

She has shown herself to be an irresponsible custodian, lacking in judgement and therefore if I were the parent I'd be making it clear to her that she will not be left in charge of the child in future, and why.

After that has been settled calmly and rationally, the parents should stick to their guns, but shouldn't hold it over the grandmother's head.

Answer 2

Of course she was out of order! I went mad when my mother-in-law went behind my back and got my daughters' ears pierced against my wishes, which is nowhere near as bad. You don't say which faith, if any, the parents are? However, despite what Grandma did being wrong, the consequence of her action cannot be undone. According to Catholic teachings, baptism leads an indelible mark on the soul which cannot be erased by any subsequent action. Finally though, yes, the parents are right not to trust the Grandma if she acts behind their backs like this, even though she would probably say she did it with the best of intentions for the baby. Old-time Catholics had it rammed into them that if a baby died before it was baptised, it couldn't go to heaven, but went to a place called "Limbo" instead, which was ok, but not the real McCoy.

Answer 3

YES she was out of line. She is not the mother, she is the GRAND mother. Meaning, she is allowed to love and spoil the child, not preform religious ceremonies on her.

Look at it as if she were a Witch.

If the story said that Grandma took the baby to a Wiccaning no one would be asking this. They'd just scream bloody murder about the child's "poor soul' or something stupid like that. It's not the Grandparent's job to determine a child's upbringing.

That is up to the parents. If it were my child, she'd never be alone with my child again.

Answer 4

I do find it out of line. I don't understand how the Grandmother could do that because the parents have to consent for the baby to be baptized, and usually there has to be pre-baptism meetings etc. And it is the parent's decision whether they baptize their child or not, your friend has every right to be mad.

Answer 5

Well, it isn't "right" that the Grandma did this against the mom's wishes but, come on, what harm has it done? The baby is, well, a baby, and this baptism has brought about great relief I am guessing (in one sense) for the Grandma. She believes that the baby is now "o.k.". I am a Christian and not "Catholic", so my beliefs differ when it comes to baptism, but I just don't see any harm. Yes, the Grandma did this behind their backs, but to her, she was saving this child's soul. Who could fault her? I don't think it is right to keep the baby away from her. This baby can decide what to do as far as spiritual and religious beliefs when he is older. His own mother has a lifetime to raise him (spiritually) as she sees fit. Please try to reason with the mother to understand and forgive, no matter what her religious beliefs are. Good luck.

Answer 6

Grandma is out of line to tell parents what she did. If they did not know no harm, no foul. How many grandparents bless their grandchildren without their parents knowledge? Many I suspect. By revealing it to the parents she was causing trouble. So, I believe she had other motives involved in her actions.

If Dad does not believe than is it really an issue or does he truly believe in the power of baptism, thus the anger is justified? Dad is also playing games with the child and grandmother.

Let's believe that Grandma actions were done in love for her grandchild, not spite to father and mother. Father and mother should apologize and make amends for the arguments about God.

Answer 7

Definitely out of line. People shouldn't have religion thrust on them. Don't get me wrong, I believe in God, but everyone should be able to make their own choices. When the baby grows up, he can't undo what's been done if he decides to follow another religion or whatever. He'll always be a baptized Catholic

Answer 8

Sure it's out of line. But there is a glaring, unresolved question here. If the parents don't believe in Jesus/ Christianity..... then just how offended could they be, if they/ the dad, doesn't believe Jesus/ Christianity is even true ?

EDIT* - This is a question worth re-posting. It's amazing to see how many find it outrageous, but at the same time deny the existence of God. Definitely the contrast of the year !!!

Answer 9

specific, fantastically if your infant is in possibility of dying. besides the undeniable fact that, having the baby baptized with you on the Easter Vigil Mass is a fantastic adventure. I as quickly as say a youthful father baptized and on a similar time as he exchange into nonetheless in the pool, his infant newborn exchange into surpassed to him and the priest baptized the baby then and there. It exchange into appealing. With love in Christ.

Answer 10

way way way out of line. Grandma needs to understand she is the GRANDMA. I would totally remove the child from her influence or make sure that any contact was completely supervised. "Grandparents rights" etc etc is a bunch of bullshit. That wouldnt fly with me at all. Whoever this "grandma" is ought to be begging for forgiveness and pray that she's fortunate enough to ever even see the child again.