I am a single mum with a 11 year old son who has started to develop some strange little habits. I don't know (or want) to make a big deal out of this only advice & suggestions would be very much appriciated!
James has suddenly lost all sense of modesty since entering secondary school, and will strip off to his pants when he gets home to lounge around. He has also taken to peeing outside on virtually everything! - He's driving me nuts! he will also make all sorts of noises (from his bottom) in mine & his sisters company & constantly lies on the sofa with both hands down his pants.
Can anyone explain why he is doing this please?
Thank you for all your help & suggestions
Sam
xxx
2006-11-19 02:54:51 · 30 answers · asked by sam 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Oops! i've posted this in toddler before by mistake - Sorry.
2006-11-19 02:55:49 · update #1
He sounds like a typical boy!
If you continue to be worried about his behaviour, telephone a youth councillor (like central youth) to discuss what could be causing his behaviour! Or ask him not to do it in front of you & his sister!
Good Luck
2006-11-19 02:59:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi,
I must say that I was mortified when my 8 year old began wanting to sleep in just his underwear a few months ago, and it was not uncommon to find he had taken off his clothes down to the pants to just lounge in his room, or streak through the house. I require him to put clothes on -shirt too- but I didn't have any success about the PJs.
Why do our sweet baby boys have to get those less favorable male tendencies? I guess it's just those hormones... yet we can influence them with varying degrees of success. If he doesn't respond to the suggestions of all the kindly folks you get advice from on here (I'm new to this forum too!) with talking to him yourself - perhaps you can have a male friend or relative that knows him well (especially someone he looks up to) that can discreetly speak to him about "That's not cool, man."
About the outdoor urination - perhaps he doesn' t know this is illegal and that you might want to mention he might have a neighbor call the law enforcement for public indecency to scare him - or even have a policeman talk to him if possible.
Good luck - and remember to let him know all the great stuff he does that you admire, as I'm sure you already do! :)
2006-11-19 05:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time he strips his pants off anywhere but behind a closed door march his butt up to his room and politely tell him that it is not tolerated in your house. As far as the bum noises...children like to draw attention to themselves and many boys thing passing gas loudly is funny. I would tell him that you don't like it and that he is to leave the room if he can't behave. And as far as the hands down the pants when in the same room as you and your daughter...that is a touchy subject. Sounds like your son is starting to experience some sexual feelings but doesn't understand the bounds of propriety.I would sit him down and tell him what it means for him to do that...and that you don't feel comfortable with him doing what he is doing. If he persists in acting this way then talk to his pediatrician. You may want to have help in determining if he has been molested in anyway or if he is just acting out for some other reason. Good Luck
2006-11-26 16:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by Becky R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm purely 17 yet i think like a make sure. My youngest brother is 4 and he receives into each and every thing. He likes to get into my dad's equipment, my mom's sowing stuff, and my electronics. The seocnd youngest and easily female is 8 and thinks she is the queen of the international and is a finished slob. The third youngest is 9 and he likes to be loud and make messes all around the residing house. even as my mom is residing house he kicks and screams to get what he needs, and he receives away with that. I help my mum and dad around the residing house and watch the youngsters even as they flow to artwork. I too will admit that I had sticky palms yet that ended even as i replaced into cought by a enormous black protection take care of who scared it the hell out of me. This replaced into actualy interesting.
2016-11-29 06:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is probably normal behaviour, but you need to talk to him, alone, and without embarrassing him, and let him know that it is not acceptable to be doing these things in public. Tell him there are laws against urinating in public, and as for the other things, that it makes other people feel very uncomfotable and that people will avoid him if he behaves in these ways. How about making a compromise that when he gets home he can wear shorts or tracksuit bottoms but not just his pants. He is just trying to show his masculinity, its just that he is going overboard with it. I would imagine this will settle down anyway as he matures and realises its not clever to behave like this.
2006-11-19 03:03:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be taught that what he's doing is not acceptable. He's only 11, yet he's acting like an out of control teenager. He needs to have some discipline instilled in him a.s.a.p or you'll regret it when he's just a few more years old.
It's your home. Other people have to live there and they don't necessarily want be looking at his seminaked body, and listening to his bodily functions.
Nip it in the bud, NOW.
2006-11-20 01:26:10 · answer #6 · answered by Phlodgeybodge 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IS there a man in your home? If not it seems that you son is on a power trip! Puppies do exactly the same thing; at least until you show them whose boss. If you bring these things to his attention, and tell him why he needs to change his ways, he may change. Other than that, you may need a stronger line with him. I would nip it in the bud now, before it become habit. He may have developed the idea that his is how men behave? Any idea where he might have got that idea from? Look at his role models, who hes hanging around with. Cut out the undesirables, or better still get them on your side. Let us know how you get on.....
2006-11-19 03:07:05 · answer #7 · answered by Vern D 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Stand up! Would you let a boyfried of yours behave like this? I bet you wouldn't! Don't let your son behave like this. I don't even let my dogs play with their crotches in the house. Provide a box of tissues in his bedroom and a little slide-bolt he can put on the inside of his bedroom door for guaranteed privacy - I assure you those will be very welcome to him at this age - and then tell him with no doubt at all that boys behave like Gentlemen when they are in the presence of women, otherwise they don't get fed dinner and they don't get any privileges. Tell him it's nice that he's becoming a man, but that doesn't mean he can become a caveman.
You could also do what he is doing, and see how he likes it. Try stripping off to your ugliest, oldest, biggest set of underwear and scratch yourself rudely and constantly in front of him, and see how he likes it!
2006-11-26 11:39:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, ok. for all you adults saying this is normal and that he's just turnin into a man, u r not exactly rite. there could be only two normal explanations i can think of:
1. you said he just started secondary school, yes? so maybe he has some new friends he thinks are "cool" and may just be being influenced by them, whther or not he knows it or wants to belive or admit it. or maybe its not necessarily his friends, but other popular kids around. (i am mainly thinkin about the peeing thing, which is sometimes done by gangsters in movies).
2. maybe he just wants to see what he can get away with. this is where you can interfere and show him the boundaries. but if this is wat you want to do, do it in a frim but pleasant way. wat i mean by this is this: keep your voice low and show that you are more hurt than you are mad. trust me, this works on me. when someone is shouting at me i only get more adamant, but when they show me that they are hurt and that i hav hurt them, thats when i feel really ashamed and feel motivated to change.
and this third explanation may not be so starightforward:
*maybe he just doesnt care about manners anymore. you said you were single. maybe he just misses his father or watever. afterall, he's only eleven. he has emotions. but you must demonstrate to him that he IS the man of the house and that he should be the one setting the examples in the house and that you too are going through a rough time and that you should all learn to cooperate with each other.
well, wish i could help you here. and i tried to giv the best advice, because i am still young (15 yrs old) and so know more than adults how kids are.
well good luck here.
*PS. i agree with "Vern D" and "Barry G". between them, they've got it pretty spot-on.
2006-11-19 03:22:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well coming from some one that had and has lots of habits there is nothing worse than some one constantly getting on you about something that you try to stop but just cant so let your kid do the habits and if they don't get worse they will get better.
2006-11-23 16:52:18 · answer #10 · answered by Mr.Helpful 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It honestly doesn't sound "normal" to me & I am surprized how many people are saying he is just a boy. He needs to be taught that the things he is doing aren't acceptable, how it makes you / those around him feel when he does these things, and if/when there's an approriate time to do them. ie. not appropriate to hang out naked unles everyone there is comfy with it, sometimes you pee outside while camping etc, farting in some countries is just not appropriate in public...
He needs discipline & is calling out for it using negative behaviors. Set up some boundaries, girl!
2006-11-19 03:10:58 · answer #11 · answered by Quinn 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋