'm going to put this poem before class starts and while nobody is there. This is to prevent anyone from seeing who put it. As for people reading it nobody really cares about that stuff. Also it will be addressed to her but my name won't be written and shes always sitting in the same place since the beginning of the year. Also tell me how i should decorate the poem. I have an idea but i want other opinions.She's 19, im 17
When I think of the perfect girl,
Only you come to mind
With the intellect of a genius,
Eyes that sparkle like gems,
Hair as soft as silk,
An angelic voice that only sings beautiful melodies to my ears,
Cheeks as adorable and round like yours,
And a smile that lights up even the darkest room
No wonder you are God's only work of art
You're an amazing girl, an amazing person
You're special and irreplaceable to me
And my heart will never stop beating
For it lives off these feelings I have for you
2006-11-19 02:45:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly? I think the poem is too gushy. If you'd been dating for a while, it'd be great -- but from an anonymous person, the parts about "you're irreplaceable to me" and "my heart will never stop beating . . ." are a little creepy.
I would change it to:
When I think of the perfect girl,
You come instantly to mind
With the intellect of a genius,
Eyes that sparkle like gems,
Hair as soft as silk,
An angelic voice that sings beautiful melodies to my ears,
Cheeks as adorable and round,
And a smile that lights up even the darkest room
It's obvious you are God's work of art
You're an amazing girl, an amazing person
So special to me
And my heart beats gladly
For it lives off these feelings I have for you
Good luck!
2006-11-19 02:58:15 · answer #1 · answered by silverkitte1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a free verse poem I guess it isn't bad. I can only see a couple of things I dont like. First of all the iambac pantameter doesnt flow right. but that isn't really important. the other thing that gets me is what you say in the last coupling ; 'my heart will never stop beating for it lives off these feelings I have for you'. That may be comming on a little bit strong. Saying your heart will live forever because it beats for the feelings you have for her sounds a bit like stalker mentality. On the up side, EVERYONE likes to be flattered, and you will have done JUST that. If I were you I would type out the poem so she doesn't have the option of recognizing your hand writing by some off chance. Good luck with the girl.
2006-11-19 10:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you're guaranteed nookie! I was surprised. I thought I was gonna read some half baked poem, but that was really thoughtful.
You could either use some romantic stationary, or glue dried flowers on it. Just a thought.
Also, I'd at least put your first name on it. That way, no one else can claim they wrote it to her. I mean, what if someone else has an interest in her and finds out about it?
2006-11-19 10:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by dhalia_1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save the poem until after you have dated her several times. I suggest you break the ice by respectfully and properly introducing yourself to her, then crack a few jokes, or tell her a humorous story whether it be an actual experience or something that you heard or made up yourself, and above all be yourself, do not attempt to impress her or exaggerate any details of your life. Good Luck:)
2006-11-19 10:51:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really like the first two lines and the last paragraph. the middle one is slighlty over-done in sappyness. if i were you i wouldn't put in the "angelic voice that sings beautiful melodies" bit. it's quite lovely though, i bet she'll like it :)
i like bows. you could glue some bows or flowers or something on it, just make it look meaningful, the poem sounds like you really put some thought into it, make the decorations do the same.
2006-11-19 10:49:49 · answer #5 · answered by vera lynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww this is very sweet. She is a lucky girl to have a guy like you caring for her. Go for it. =)
2006-11-19 10:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by GucciGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First answer these questions: Does she like poetry? Does she like you? Does she like younger men? If the answer to these are all yes, then go for it..
2006-11-19 10:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by Rick B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Corny!
2006-11-19 10:52:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice poem... Do it! I support you man! Don't be shy! Do it!
2006-11-19 10:48:25 · answer #9 · answered by Phil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dats great go for it
2006-11-19 10:47:45 · answer #10 · answered by ahkiya :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋