My 23 y/o son moved back home. He had an apartment with roommates and they moved out. They weren't fighting, they just moved on in different directions of their lives. So he came back home and is saving his money to get his own place. When my date comes over, my son refuses to leave the room and give us alone time. When I asked him to do this, he refused and ignored me. He complains that he doesn't want to go to his room, says it's boring in there.
2006-11-19 01:51:28 · 26 answers · asked by Ron 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh, honey Listen to this. You tell your son when I'm having company. I expect you to move around. Weather you leave the house or go to the room I allowed you to move back into. This is not a discussion this is a must do situation. If you can not respect me and my company you need to find you somewhere else to stay quickly. I pay these bills this is my house you stay with me I don't stay with you. So it's my way or the highway. You are to grown to sit up under me and my company and I am too grown for you to sit here and act like you babysitting me. One more thing when I ask you to do something I mean do it right then not when you get ready. If I wanted it done later I would have asked you later. Besides, he's 23 where is his gf?
2006-11-19 04:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind him who is paying the bills and under who's roof he is living in. Set your house rules! If you continue as you are, he will feel free to do the same to you! Imagine being told to go to your room while he has a date over!
You may wish to set aside a room just for you media, like the basement or an extra bedroom. The living room can be the date room. But this just gets more and more complicated and costly.
You may want to examine the financial of helping to get him out of your home, if bring your date home is more important. You have to find common ground. Or learn to use a day timer and schedule the use of you own home!
2006-11-19 10:04:34 · answer #2 · answered by believer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming with the name Ron, that you are a guy, so writing this as though you're the Father? Please forgive me if I'm wrong here.
I think maybe he's a tad resentful of your date. Maybe he misses his Mother?
I think probably it is best to get him involved in conversation with your date, initially. Ask your date if she can spend some time allowing him into her life, not to replace his mother but befriend him, involve him and I'm sure he will respect both of you and your needs so much more.
Don't try to push him out and into his own room every time your date comes around, as this will only cause resentment and you will alienate him. Gain his respect and I think you'll find he'll trust the two of you enough to give you space. Tell him that you miss his Mother too and will never forget her, but that you have to move on in life.
He's just being a stubborn youth, who thinks he is too old to be ordered to his room. So, do the next best thing - put yourself in his shoes. Treat him as a friend, not an offspring. After all, he's a man now.
2006-11-19 10:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by Darkwing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know he's your son and you love him, but he is showing utmost disrespect in every way. Tell him if he doesn't like the rules then to feel free to leave! It might sound harsh, but hey, if he doesn't like it he can lump it! Most people would be kicking his butt out the door. I dont know if that's the answer, especially if he doesn't have enough money behind him, maybe you could lend him some to get his own place? By 23 he should be able to get a clue! Maybe he needs to go find a girlfriend, and then you can hound him, the way he hangs around you! Bet he would want his own place then hey??
GOOD LUCK!
2006-11-19 10:04:58 · answer #4 · answered by melfromhell001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is boring in there then leave and call to know if it is alright to come home. He moved out of the house once. He is no longer a child. This is your house. If he does not like your rules he needs to leave. He can find a place of his own there are plenty around but might not be just what he wants. Do a few things to make me happy or get the hell out. Nuff said.
2006-11-19 09:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your son. If you want alone time with your "date" then get a room! Show some respect to your son.
I do not blame your son one bit for refusing to leave the room of what is called.."his home?" As a parent it is your responsibility to ensure that a child, no matter what the age has a place called home. And that should not include that child (no matter what age) having to give up their space so that Mommy can play slap and tickle with her "date."
I swear, grow up here lady! If this guy can't afford to take you out or pay for a hotel room so that you can have your "alone time," he's not worth it.
However, your son is WORTH it! Get the picture???
You disgust me.
2006-11-19 09:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds disrespectful to you. You need to let him know that it is your home. You are the person paying the bills and you are the person in charge. Tell him to read a good book while he is in his room and he won't be so bored. He has the choice to live with you under your rules, or he can move out very quickly to run his own life the way he likes.
2006-11-19 09:55:35 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably not going to like part of this answer. What is the nature of the relationship with your son? Are you still acting in a parent/child relationship or adult/adult relationship. You should be acting as and adult with an adult. Treat him the same way you would treat a buddy or friend whom you allowed to stay with you for awhile. If your buddy acted like that, what would you do? Yeah, he'll always be your son. BUT now he is also an adult. You deserve respect in as an adult. So does he.
As for the specifics, I'll leave that to you. You might choose to kick him out. Or you might choose to talk with him as an adult. He might be surprised. He might not. I don't know the current nature of your relationship. Again, it depends on you both. You decide. Also, if you act as a loving friend, that will be different from a rough and tumble buddy. Good luck.
2006-11-19 10:12:48 · answer #8 · answered by Jack 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, It is your home and your son is 23 years old and you have rules. If it was me and my son lived in MY home, I would tell him that there are rules to follow and he must abide by them or he will need to find a place to go that does not have rules. If you want your son to live with you and you do not want to fight with him, have a one on one talk with him and talk to him like he is a man. be nice and tell him that you have a life to.
2006-11-19 10:12:42 · answer #9 · answered by cbwidow1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should remember w/ a kid in the house there is no such thing as "alone time." But your son is old enough to respect your house and your space. Try going to your boyfriend's house instead or just lay the rules down to your son and he can either get on board or get out.
2006-11-19 10:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by shirley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋