Is it wrong for a man to work with children?

Question

I work for an out of school provider,for children aged 4-11 during after school care during trem time and school holidays.I am a fully qualified playworker at senior level.and been in this line of work for twelve years.

There are men who work with children such as

teachers
scout leaders
sports coaches
playworker
nannies
summer camp counselors
day care providers

But there are some who belive that any man who works with childern are either gay.a sicko.pervert,pedofile.I know because not only have I had debates on this very subject I have been threatened and called some of these names when people find out my line of work,I could go into the psychology of the importants to see adults working in positive roles,but what are your veiws?...with the ever rising reports of abuse towards children,it makes my job very hard and people start to make asumptions that all men in the line of trust are all "sick'os"

Answer 1

I just had this conversation yesterday with my mother, what a coincidence. As someone who works in the childcare field, I feel really sad by the lack of men in this line of work. I feel that men have a lot to offer to children, especially children who may come from split homes and lack a male influence. It's interesting how people assume that about men, but not about women. They assume that men are born to be sex fiends, and women are born to be nurturers... well anyone with a brain knows that it doesn't work that way.

My heart goes out to you, I'm sure you get a lot of flack from people and that it's extremely frustrating. I remember a couple of guys in our program at school who actually dropped out, not because they didn't enjoy it, but because they were tired of being called perverts.

People are paranoid and want to protect their children, that's a natural instinct. But assuming a man who works with children is a pedophile/molester is NOT healthy, and it makes me wonder how they're bringing up their children. And of course, those same people need to be reminded that there isn't a strong correlation between homosexuality and child molestation - male child molesters are more likely to molest little girls, often members of their family.

Best Regards,
Holly

Answer 2

There is a real problem here. Witch hunting in the press makes men think twice about working with children and there is a real shortage.

Add to that the number of children being brought up by single mothers (most of whom do a brilliant job!) and you have a significant number of teenage boys who have little experience of interaction with adult males in a personal role and are growing up without real male role models.

That can't be healthy. Of course the person with an unnatural interest in children may find such jobs attractive as a means of access to children, but the checks are now so strict that no one with a police record for anything involving children (and this doesn't just cover convictions) gets into the teaching profession.

The greatest threat to children comes from their mothers' "boyfriends" or their own male relatives, not from men in the caring professions.

Answer 3

No, not at all. I'm a primary school teacher in a 25 strong staff with only 1 male. It is a real shame as when we have male visitors to the school the children respond positively and form a different kind of relationship. Children need as many positive male role models as possible and often this only comes through the men they come into contact with through 'professional' routes. We have many great sports coaches that do a great job with the kids and can handle difficult situations with both boys and girls in a professional manner.
As far as the 'sicko' stance goes this is a clear sign of ignorance on their part. Whether male or female all you can do is make sure you behave appropriately and never get yourself into a 1to1 situation with kids then you'll hopefully never have anything to worry about.
Good luck, chin up and enjoy your work!

Answer 4

As you said, there are people who think that a man who works in any of these jobs is a pedophile or a weirdo or something.

But people who think that way are sexist. They're making derogatory and discriminatory comments about you based on your gender.

It's sexism, just the same as the person on this board who said that women have no place in the military -- my honorable service in the US Navy when I was younger notwithstanding.

Personally, I think it's important for kids to have some teachers or counselors or whoever who are men.

With divorce rates so high and single-mother families being more numerous than ever, kids need all the male role-models they can get.

I would say to these people that since they have a problem with your job because you're a man -- while they wouldn't have a problem with it if you were a woman -- it means they're being sexist about it. Sexism against men is just as bad as sexism against women -- and it's a lot more common than we think.

.

Answer 5

This is all the media's fault, and part of a bigger issue called "the climate of fear" which briefly put is any governments way of suppressing their populace as to make it easier to manipulate and reign. (how do you think the fiasco in iraq started, when the majority of the population were against it from the start? is this not democracy?)
Peodophilia has been around as long as humanity. In some cultures, its acceptable. It was, in recent history, if not acceptable, but certainly not an outrage even in British culture.
Not too long ago, I read a new story about a baby, about 18mos old, who had been raped, and apparently the mother was herself under suspicion. Now, I have a two year old, and I coudnt for an instant understand what would drive a person to do this. It took weeks for that to stop haunting me and making me feel sick to my ******* stomache, and its not like they printed a follow up story, so we could rest easy that someone was gonna pay or suffer for committing this crime. My question is, why print that? To sell papers? To make an everlasting record of that poor wee baby's pain? And that just the tip of the iceberg.....It's like global ******* warming........the uk accounts for 2 PERCENT of the worlds carbon emmissions, and all the recycling in the country isnt gonna change whats happening(if anything is happening at all) but hey, print enough stories and do enough programs on it and next thing you know, they get to start taxing us, you know, to help, "save the environment" I mean, raise your hand if your stupid, a little education goes a long way.
So, to answer your question. I personally dont assume every man who takes an interest in my kids(or any kids) has bad intentions(i have four kids, btw, three daughters, one son) I have been the victim of molestation and rape, and am fully aware these evil things exist. I choose, however, not to live my life as a victim, or in fear.
Men make excellent caregivers and teachers. They're as a race more even-tempered and practical, useful when dealing with kids. And studies suggest they are less likely to play favorites or develop personal grudges against older children(which is the un-reported aspect to bullying. yep, teachers do it too, we're all human)Its a shame society has played the pedo card so heavy. All of our children are missing out. I wouldnt blame any man not wanting to profess even a passing kindness to a child, the way the scare-mongerers carry on. Especially if they dont have kids of their own, jeez.
Good for you, dude, for having the courage. I bet you're great at your job.

Answer 6

I know what you mean, the whole situation has become a knee jerk one and presupposes every man is a pedo, I am a Father and I love my children dearly and am horrified that anyone would suppose that I would hurt them in anyway, not only this but I think that there is nothing more beautiful than our children, who of us can resist the urge to pat an adorable child, but now because of a few perverted men we no longer have this human right.
of course I fully understand the need to protect our children from these evil doers but how far do we go? is it morally right to exclude every male for the sins of the few? it has got to the stage now that normal men are made to feel like animals and the psychological implications must be enormous today.
normal healthy men do not interfere with children this is against nature, those who do so are not normally balanced and are perverted and the rest of us have to suffer because of them.

Answer 7

Listen, don't take it to personal. Because people are just ignorant and don't know any better. And thats the way the world is now a days. I know they have a right to fear. But they are puting assumptions first and asking questions later. And to me this is wrong. I have been been looked at the wrong way all my life. I am a woman of nice body and looks. And I live in a area where most of the woman are fat and ugly. So you go from there. I get called lots of names and I'm not going to mention some of them.
So, if you know in your HEART that you are doing the best thing for these childen, then keep doing what your doing and never mind what other people are saying about you. You know in your mind that your mot doing anything wrong and thats what counts also. And if these people can't see that your trying to help these children, tell them to go take a flying leap.
Good luck!!

Answer 8

Firstly, let me say that unfortunately pedofiles generally are drawn to jobs involving children. It is very sad, but true. And therefore employers and parents must be diligent in being aware of who is taking care of their children. You, as the careworker, also have to be very professional. Don't do anything that could in anyway be misconstrued as inappropriate behaviour, ei excessive hugging, or kissing the children. But I'm sure, as a professional, you know this already.
That being said, it is up to the daycare or school to screen ANYONE, female or male, to make sure they do not have relevant criminal convictions. But this could work to your advantage as with such tough screening and such awareness these days comes acceptance of the good things. It is breaking down sterotypical barriers. We are better able to recognize the sickos and employ the healthy males.
Otherwise, I believe that a healthy, strong male role model for young children is a good thing, especially in these times with so many absent fathers.

Answer 9

It is so sad that with all the nastiness in this world, the people who really want to help children are looked down on and questioned about their love for children. As a mother I wouldn't have any problems leaving my children with a man, as long as his credentials are up to date and I would do just the same if it was a woman.

Keep up with the good work and don't let the people with such small mentality, ruin what you are obviously meant to do.

Answer 10

People often have the same attitude towards gaenocologists, don't they. It's just the world we are living in, after all most paedophiles are men unfortunately which to the public mind means that there is something about men that drives them to this kind of thing, ie all being perverts underneath. It is very sad indeed for those men who are loving, nurturing and kind. Then they get called gay or sissies, ect. I would honestly hate to be a man in this culture, but would say to you allways be true to yourself, and show all a good example, after all not everyone thinks in that way.