i love him very much, he has asked me to marrie him. he goes for
a period of time without it and then he calls it a slip up. he has been through rehab several times. what do you think i should do he has even said that the thoughts of killing himself comes to mind.it makes me feel like i'm the cause even though i'm not
2006-11-19 00:38:38 · 26 answers · asked by cindy g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I married a woman who unbeknown to me was a druggie in her high school days. When i met her apparently she had been off them for several years. We fell in love, and married, We had 2 children. Everything was wonderful for the first 8 years of marriage. Then she started hanging out with one of her old friends. She began taking drugs again. I never knew it as i was working 2 jobs to support our family. After i found out i took her to 2 hospitals for drying out, and she would go back again as soon as she could. I ended up getting her into a methadone program so she could control it. She ended up with Hep C. After 2 years of doctoring with it she OD-ed, and died leaving me and our 2 children. Life insurance that i had paid for 14 years did not pay, do to the drug death. Our daughter was only 5 when she lost her mother. My son was 8 years older and is emotionally scarred for life. She died over 4 years ago, and my family will be haunted by this forever.
Do yourself a favor, and end it with this guy. It may hurt now for a while, but believe me it will get worse. My heart goes out to you. These people can not help themselves. He will love the drug more than anything else in this world including you, and you will be the one enabling him. Don't do it.
2006-11-19 01:08:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run as fast as you can! Come on, if he has been through rehab several times and "slips up" that means he has no interest in really getting clean. Do you really want to be married to a crack head? Have more respect for yourself and find a real man who will love you more than that!
2006-11-19 00:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by Kristy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has thoughts of killing himself, the guy needs help and frankly, so do YOU.
You are NOT the reason for his self-loathing. His inability to shake the addiction IS. Don't marry him. Despite how much it may seem like a solution, it will just exacerbate the problem.
Just being in a relationship with him endangers you into co-dependency syndrome, such as the wife of an alcoholic being addicted to the behavior pattern of her afflicted husband. Help yourself by getting free of this and seek some counseling.
2006-11-19 00:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by Jeff W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should marry him if you want to live a dead end life and never have anything. That Crack is bad stuff. He will end up on skid row, so to speak, after he sells all your stuff.
What you should do is ditch the crack head and find a better guy. Anyone can do better than a Crack Head.
2006-11-19 00:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really feel challenged to respond to your question. I have had personal experience with two 'boyfriends' who have been addicted to crack cocaine and I was engaged to one. Let me tell you with all love - you cannot marry this man. First of all, crack is a killer of not only the person who is consuming the drug, but it kills the relationships he or she is involved in. Your friend needs to get help and stay in the program until a change takes place. Crack is like alcohol - you have the propensity for the drug and you will always have a connection unless you remain true to your program, prayer and get away from all who you know are involved. I know that sounds harsh - but I had to distance myself from those folks. They drained me dry - physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, monetarily. I am still suffering some residuals from the last person I was involved with. That is not a healthy place to be. Especially when he starts talking that suicide stuff. Mine did too - but it was really a cry for help. We often feel we are the cause - they make us feel that way - mine kept me broke - stealing from me, pawning my jewelry and telling me that it was my fault. Listen honey, you need to break away. You can love and be concerned from a distance, but you have to consider your own self, less you fall. Tough love can be tough - but I'd rather live than die - and I'd rather the person who is unhealthy and killing themselves with drugs find some help and rethink his life and purpose - but you can't do it for him. I pray for your strength because you are going to need all you can get. If you want to discuss this more - please email me. God bless you
2006-11-19 00:47:46 · answer #5 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any drug addiction takes a strong hold on the person that is addicted. He loves smoking crack more than he loves you. Give him a choice; either he stops smoking dope or he stops seeing you. My money is on he will keep smoking crack. Face it girl, even though you love him your love doesn't give him the exhilarating high that crack cocaine does. If your smart you will dump him before he has you smoking it too.
2006-11-19 00:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend who you love, loves crack not you. Don't even think about marrying this loser.
He's on crack.
He is suicidal.
He makes you feel guilty.
What more could you ask of the future father of your codependant
abused children?
Get the hell out of this relationship.
2006-11-19 00:43:43 · answer #7 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him, NOW. People who use crack are prone to becoming addicted and can be abusive. Whether he's abusive now isn't an issue for you, but if you marry Captian I Can't Quit, you're setting yourself up for heartache.
Do yourself a favor and find someone worthy of you.
2006-11-19 00:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend not marrying him until he goes a set amount of time without it. You don't want the father of your children to be a crack head do you? Also take care, as one of my exes did crack and was extremely violent and suicidal when he was on it. good luck to you.
2006-11-19 00:41:35 · answer #9 · answered by camandizmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of him he wants crack more than you give him a choice of you or crack. Trust me he will go back to crack. Hes trying to make you feel guilty an it is working. There are other people out there who aren't on crack so what is wrong with them?
2006-11-19 01:32:23 · answer #10 · answered by goodtimesgladly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋