What is the best position in which to spank a child?

Question

I have recently posted a question or two, and have been suprised by the quality of answers. I am neutral on the issue of administering spankings, as I was brought up with them and haven't developed any real problems from them. My wife, however, is adamant that spankings be adminstered in cases of misbehaviour... how can I spank my children without hurting them? I'm looking for specific techniques and positions. If you have any tips/ suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Thanks,
-Jim

I have decided never to spank my children. I taked to my wife last night, and she said that she will also abstain from this form of discipline. We are currently exspecting our first child, and we will only use time outs or grounding.

Answer 1

Spanking is not considered abuse, UNLESS you leave visible marks on the child.....Its not acceptable to spank your child with an object like a belt or a stick....It is only acceptable to use your HAND and ONLY on their bottom, there cheeks to be precise.....I work with an organization that advocates for abused children......And that is what is permissible in the state of Texas.....

Some children do require 'spanking'.....It really just depends on there temperament....Some children test more boundaries and challenge parents more, so at times an occasional spanking does wonders and of course, not in anger.....But constant and repeated spankings are hurtful and breaks a child's spirit.....Its a very fine line, so please use spanking as a last resort.....

Answer 2

No position is best to hit a child. You can call it spanking, but it's hitting someone smaller and more defenseless than yourself. Parents often don't realize their own strength or may be angry or full of emotion when "spanking".
I was spanked (hit) as a child and all it did was make me more determined to not get caught next time. It also helped me disassociate myself from my emotions and feelings, which took years of therapy to help correct.
A time out (sitting on a chair in the corner or standing in the corner) -- a withdrawl of your attention and calmly explaining why what was done was inappropriate rather than hitting a child works much better and doesn't leave scars -- emotional or physical.
My Mother used to use her hand but would often hurt her hand (!) and so she resorted to using hand-saving devices such as a hair brush and a wooden spoon. She broke an old fashioned wooden spoon (oak or pine, not balsa wood like today's wooden spoon) while spanking me. It left a jagged scar that took years to heal, sent blood everywhere, and I had to have bits of it dug out of my lower back by a doctor. I had to be on antibiotics and have other bits removed later on.
Another time, she hit me with my Father's belt and delivered several blows before she saw that the edge of the new belt had cut into my back and bottom and I had scars that looked like I'd been whipped for years (I had in essence been whipped). Again, blood, pain, and hard feelings on my part.
Whatever a child does that you disapprove of, it's not worth giving them a spanking. They're not a little adult; they're a child, and they deserve praise, encouragement and respect. They don't deserve to be hit or beaten, no matter how well meaning it may be in your eyes.
In some countries, states, provinces, it's a criminal offence to hit your child, even if you call it spanking, and your child could end up in foster care. Something to think about.
Plus, life is short. It's too short to get all huffed up over spilled milk or crayon on the walls or lack of proper table manners or a lie told for an odd reason. Before you realize it your children will be grown and move away and you'll regret times you could have or should have treated them better. Some kids also have long memories -- and will treat you the same way when you're old and you make mistakes or don't do what THEY say when you're old and helpless and relying on them for help.
PLEASE consider parenting classes or other alternatives such as a time out, withdrawl of priviledges, etc. rather than hitting.
And how can a parent teach a child it's wrong to hit others (sometimes called the "no hands" rule) when they get hit by their parents?

Answer 3

I realize that spanking is an issue that people are on both sides of the fence and I personally don't ever spank my child. I do think that spanking is a personal issue best left up to the parents. That said I think if your child is still in diapers, then he is too young to be spanked, period. In order for spanking to be effective, A child has to understand that spanking is a result of their actions and not an act of violence. I don't think a child in diapers is old enough to understand that concept.

Answer 4

The best position in which to spank is to take the child, set him/her on a chair. Then get your belt, drop your pants and bend over. Give yourself a few whacks. Be sure to grimace a lot so the kids know how painful it is.
Seriously, any parent who feels the child needs a spanking needs a spanking himself/herself.
One does not teach a child to be a good citizen by forcing him to experience pain.

Answer 5

On the bottom is always good-initial surprise and shock of the actual spanking, rather than the force of the spoon or hand is usually all it takes. If behaviour continues try using a silicone egg lifter- there is a sting but it's not painful enough to leave marks (we tested our methods on each other before doing this to our children- we wanted to know how much force to apply before its too much..and then backed it off, considering it was to be applied to a child). Backside is nearly always good- then there is the palm, but that is really sting-y....maybe reserve that for when it's really needed. And remember, that as the father, they usually take more notice of the discipline that you give---mum's always around....but they just want to please dad-letting them know you are displeased, even with a LIGHT spanking, will help shock them into realising that you expect the respect that they owe you as father.

Answer 6

There _IS_ no "best position" in which to hit your child.

I have scars on my back from being "spanked" with leather straps and belts. I turned out no better or worse than anyone who wasn't spanked, but I did end up in therapy over it. It's hard to trust as an adult when the two people you're supposed to be able to trust as a little child inflict severe physical pain over minor "infractions".

If you hit/beat/spank a dog or cat, it's animal abuse. Why don't more people see hitting a child as child abuse.

Answer 7

Well let me be frank before you waste to much time reading:

In this case listen to your wife she is right, after all she went through childbirth let her have this decision. It is just wrong and teaches children that 'violence is ok as long as there is a good reason'.

Try reading some parental books, talking to your wife, going to a therapist, and watch Nanny 911. There are a lot of things you can do other thank spanking.

I hope you didn't take that as a personal attack, it wasn't directed at you but at spanking.

Answer 8

I don't think you can. If you aren't physically hurting them, you are hurting them emotionally. I personally would NEVER spank my child unless he endangered his life or someone else's. I don't think spanking a child should be the first punishment. There are other forms of punishment, time outs, grounding, taking away something that will bother them if it is, don't take away phone privileges if they never use it anyway type of thing. Your wife is adamant about spanking your children, so why are you considering it? You should be talking to her about ways in which to discipline them, not asking us for how to's. I know this doesn't really answer your question at all, but I hope it gives you something to think about :)

Answer 9

I think you are probably a sicko pervert. And if that's not the case, I still think you need to go to a shrink. There are more appropriate ways to discipline kids without resorting to corporal punishment. You guys have a serious problem. If you guys are so into spanking, you and your wife should spank each other, in the privacy of your bedroom, of course. Leave the kids alone.

Answer 10

There is no need to spank. I have 4 children and can administer proper punishments for misbehaviour without corporal punishment which is from decades ago. There is a law against what you are suggesting you do to your child/ren and the force in which you propel to their bodies is far stronger than they can handle. You will do damage if you hit them above the shoulders and leave handprints on arms and legs as my late SIL proved.
I'd rethink the fear that you will instill into these poor children as there are other methods.