I am positive the man I had a close relationship gave me HPV, should I tell him?

Question

I don't sleep around. This is the only relationship I had and I was stupid because I trusted him because he was such a health freak. Very clean but, then I find out he has been with many woman even after I asked him he said he was tested. But, this HPV is difficult to blame on men. But I've only been with him. Help!

Answer 1

There is not particular reason why it should be so hard to blame on anyone, male or female, since it's probably the most common STD out there. Men in particular need to know, since they are often silent carriers. There are some 30 varieties of HPV, and the most common ones cause warts, genital warts can occur anywhere in the area- and may not even have caught his notice. There is also no reliable test to detect HPV in men, the skin on the penis is thick and scraping are almost always negative, even in the control tests. Your man probably was tested, for HIV and possibly other kinds of STD's, but not for HPV. So he may have been quite honest there, and believes himself to be in the clear.
So you really do need to tell him, and tell him that he is the most likely suspect for where you got it. If you want, you can get pamplets from the doctor or health clinic to explain it all when you do tell him.
Educate yourself about this disease- or I should say diseases- because there are so many variations. For the most part there are two types, high and low risk. The low risk sort cause the genital warts, and usually the immune system will eventually supress or eliminate it. The warts can be removed fairly easily, and your life can go on as before.
The upshot is that even "clean" folks can be unwitting carriers of things. Tests are nice, but not always dependable guarantees that you have the all clear. You got it from him, he got it from a women he slept with, who in turn got it from somebody else. Like as not, none of them has a clue that they have it. So you do need to tell him, or this circle will just get bigger. There's no need to be angry about it, either with yourself or with him, just a need to inform and be treated, and be educated in how to deal with it in future. And in the future, I suggest that until you are in a very stable, long term relationship, you should insist on using a condom. They aren't perfect, but they are still your best defense against other more serious infections. This time you were fortunate, it is HPV, but next time you could be far less fortunate. Clean people carry lots of things unwittingly, and viruses/bacterias are equal opportunity infectors.

Answer 2

There are over 100 strains of HPV and it is extremely common for any person who has had sex (even once) to get.

Talk to him - odds are he didn't know. Even if you were safe and clean (he wore a condom) HPV can be transmitted via skin to skin contact. And the are few, if any, physical symptoms.

Just ask in the future "do you have any known STDs?" and even if he says "No" it means nothing - he needs to have been tested for it all. Also, you should get the new HPV vaccine. Even if you now have it - talk to your health professional.

HPV is so common and rarely found in men that I'm really not surprised and don't think anything less of yourself. Odds are it will clear on its own.

Answer 3

You really can't test men very reliably for HPV. Unless you can see some genital warts on him you can never be too sure if a man does or does not have HPV. Also, even though he said he was "tested" he was probably tested for the "usual" (Gonorrhea/Chlamydia, HIV, Syphillis, maybe Hepatitis, possibly Herpes) and not HPV.

If this guy was your one and only sexual relationship in your whole life, then yes, he probably is the one. If you have had even one other sexual partner, then he might not be the one who gave it to you.

As others have mentioned, I would still let him know that you have HPV and that he is now at risk of having it or has it already and you got it from him.

Condoms or abstinence provide the best prevention for the spread of HPV.

Answer 4

I know it must be hard. You trust someone and than bam you get that. I would tell him. Not to be mean to you, that's the last thing you need, but please make sure that you use a condom each and every time you plan on having sex. I know you said you have not slept around ( good for you by the way), but i think in general, esp men, people don't want to admit how many partners they have had. so if i was you, i would not take the mans word for it and use protection. I hope everything goes OK with you. wish you well.

Answer 5

absolutely yes. since there is no detection in men unless they get a genital warts or so they have no clue of noing they have the virus. If you are a hpv positive u need to tell him that way he nos and if he is with another woman or man he can inform them about it and be honest because if he doesnt and he is haven intercoarse with other woman or men they autmatically get the virus and the next you no the get warts or even develope cervical cancer because not all woman go for there annual paps we all need to go for our annual paps cause if those woman who dont no they have the virus and and do get there pap tests next u no they have precanerous cells. Its definitley the best thing to be brave and tell him. I DID IT SO CAN U. AND IF YOU FIND A NEW PARTNER TELL HIM U HAVE THE VIRUS THAT WAY HE NOS AND IF YOU GUYS BREAK UP HE NOS WHATS GOING ON IF HE SLEEPS WITH ANOTHER GIRL/ ITS LIKE A CHAIN REACTION. EASILIY SPREAD. HOPE U UNDER STAND IT BETTER. GO TO TELL-SOMEONE.COM IF YOU WOULD LIKE FREE INFO IN THE MAIL ANOUT HOV AND THE FACTS.

Answer 6

no matter how clean this person looks be man or woman dont mean that there not infected . with a .std. this has been proven by many rich. or even poor. if this person was a carrier and kenw it by law this is a feloney. ask any law. agency. go to the link i am posting. . www. stdfeloney.. com www. stdlaws.com www. stdlegalfelos.com everyone is a law . by every state and they will enforce them . go and report this to your loal health department and watch how soon they will act on his actions on this matter. my opion ref<<.. legal..?

Answer 7

Absolutely, talk to him about it, let him know you have HPV and you think you got it from him.

Answer 8

of course u should tell him...he might be passin it around...even if he tries to deny it u might feel a little better that u got that off ur chest..hopefully u will be one of the lucky ones where it will clear up on its own...good luck

Answer 9

Yea, tell him. He might not know. If he does know it won't do any harm for him to hear it from you.

Answer 10

Definitely...he needs to know so as not to infect others...