I HAD A HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION WITH MINE.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
2006-11-13 00:32:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Food & Drink ➔ Vegetarian & Vegan
'mjastbury'
Life is too short to be serious all the while.
Hope, 'andielep' a regular on V&V, reads this.
2006-11-13 00:48:24 · update #1
Sherry,
Don't forget some sherry.
2006-11-13 00:50:47 · update #2
KitKat,
I've heard of 'splitting hairs' but what beans are you trying to split? Mung, Urid, Soya, Black-eye, Lentil to name just of few.
2006-11-13 03:25:14 · update #3
'andielep'
Just as 'foxhunter_guy' annoying all veggies there is a pest following me to every area I go to. He keeps RE-INCARNATING. His latest name is 'Hindu's bappu'. I need a good fly-swatter. lol
2006-11-13 10:08:46 · update #4
As most of you guessed these are joke questions. It does show the prejudice V&V have, sometimes, to put up with, even from professionals.
2006-11-13 10:17:57 · update #5
Hiya Nick!!
LOL I had a GP like that 5 1/2 years ago so I switched!! He was unconcerned that I had lost my lovely size 8 figure to pregnancy (forever!!) , he was unsympathetic about not being able to exercise for a month after laser treatment. He said that 800 calories per day and a 25 mile run with a cycle ride and a yoghurt at lunch time would be barely be enough exercise (I'm a 12 but unfortunatly for me an natural Pammie up top - and I hate them) . It is also virtually impossible to over exercise according to this bloke. (He also thinks asthma is a figment of the imagination.)
On one occasion I wasn't laughing though the silly man said that there was nothing wrong with my child. I know my daughter. I telephoned another practice that had spaces left. As it turned out the poor little mite had a serious ear infection!!!! I was glad we could change surgeries so quickly.
Wow, Looks like you, Michael H and Myself all had the same GP!!
Andie
2006-11-13 03:52:39 · answer #1 · answered by Andielep 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WOW... no, my Dr. has not told me this!! All my life I have been misinformed. I want the name of your Dr.! Is he taking new patients? This is so cool. Now I know without a doubt, I can eat all the chocolate and drink all the wine I want. And I can sell my treadmill to some other sucker!! Thank you so much for setting the world strait :-D
2006-11-13 08:46:48 · answer #2 · answered by Vida 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know you were a patient in our office?! I'm sorry I didnt recognize you..my bad.
I work for a doctor *internist* and that sounds almost exactly like something the maniac would say! He prob wants to keep you sick so he can cash in on all your copays..cuz you'ld be seeing him constantly
I also used to work for a cardiologist who joking always said he wanted the cafeteria in our building to install cigarette machines and serve chili cheese dogs..."I need the job security" according to him. >)
2006-11-13 13:48:17 · answer #3 · answered by starikotasukinomiko 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, sounds suspiciously like one of those funny emails which was doing the rounds last year... If that's your doc then change him, what a quack!
2006-11-13 08:45:14 · answer #4 · answered by Number O 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I didn't know we went to the same doc.
Shame he got sruck off
2006-11-13 08:35:35 · answer #5 · answered by Michael H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
thats funny man, now i am going to take all of this and put it into practice
2006-11-13 08:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are trying to be funny, try getting some facts straight. Since when is a bean a vegetable?
2006-11-13 09:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 5⤋
i aint blonde but i dont know if this is a joke or u have a crap doc? i can be too gullable
2006-11-13 08:42:10 · answer #8 · answered by amy_uk2k1 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i wish i had this doctor sounds cool i wish everyone thought like that! lol!
2006-11-13 12:54:33 · answer #9 · answered by twinkle star 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No my doctors not like that at all. What did you say his address is? ;o)
2006-11-13 09:32:13 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋