Is it possible to find out how long you've had herpes??

Question

I've been married for 4 months, and just got diagnosed with herpes. My husband says he's never had herpes, and I sure haven't slept with anyone else. Is it possible that I've had it all along? I know they say this is possible, but they also say the 1st outbreak is the worst. I KNOW that I would have noticed something worse than what I'm going through now. Yes, I'm stressed, so that could have done it, but I've been worse before. He's saying I gave it to him but is very understanding about it. I'm just curious if there's a way to find out how long I've had it??

Thanks for the answers so far. Just to clarify, I have gone to a doc, she said it was initial. He went to a doc, he says his doc says it was initial. My meds are for an initial outbreak, his are not. CA does not require pre-screening. I guess what I'm really trying to find out here is...did he get it before we met, and just not know? Did he get it before we met and not tell me? Or did he just get it and give it to me? This is only 2 weeks after he admitted to using crystal meth again... trying to decide whether I should give up, I guess.

Answer 1

Whoever has the more mature immune system against it. If you JUST got it, you'll have lower antibody levels. If he JUST got it, he'll have fewer antibodies. Unfortunately if you've had it for awhile and contracted it from him, it's very possible you both have mature immune systems against it.

Weren't you both screened for STD's pre-marriage? As far as I know, Nevada is the only state that does not require STD screening before a marriage certificate is issued.

People with genital herpes are known to take this way out, rather than being honest with their partners.. Saying their partner gave it to them, not the other way around. As he's very understanding about it, this is exactly what I suspect. If it were ME, I'd be in a horrible rage to have contracted this from someone I loved and trusted.

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Edit - What are the actual antibody levels for you and your husband. If you could post that up I could give you an estimate on who may have had it longer, but that is no gaurentee. What doctors say when they're discussing an "initial" outbreak, is it's the first outbreak you've gone to that doctor for and you think it's your first outbreak.

Judging by his reaction, I honestly think he had it and knew, as of right now.

Answer 2

If you had Chicken Pox as a child, you carry the potential for Herpes outbreaks. As for genital herpes, no, there is no way to know how long you have carried the virus. Most express the virus as cold sores, but it can on occasion be expressed as genital herpes. And yes, you can contract the virus and go years without having an outbreak.
At this point, who had it first really doesn't matter. What matters is getting it dealt with, knowing that you can infect anyone from now on, whether you have an active lesion or not, whether you take daily valtrex or not, you are now and forever a carrier of the virus. And so is he.
You also mention that he has a drug problem....frankly, I'll bet he had it and gave it to you, especially since he is so "understanding". It's too bad you have to find out about this after the wedding. In your place, I would kick him to the curb.

Answer 3

My best friend has had genital herpes for about eight months now, and it's been really rough. She's had about 7 outbreaks. Everywhere I read it says it stops flaring up so much after time, but its not getting less frequent for her. She's been on Antiviral meds the whole time, too. She also has type 1 diabetes which she has had her whole life, which really weakens her immune system. Will it ever get better?

But after a friend share this video everything has changed.
Natural Safe Herpes Remedy?

Answer 4

I know you must feel bad but you should ask your Doctor maybe it wasen you the first one to start it your husband might be the first but dont worry abou it you should start a treatment and ask that question to your Doctor maybe you will feel better...good luck!

Answer 5

I heard that crystal meth users are notorious for engaging in risky sexual behavior so it´s highly possible that he could have been the one who gave it to you.

Answer 6

It's possible that your husband, unaware that he had it, gave it to you. He may need drug rehab to stay clean and you both may need couples therapy to adjust to your diagnoses and get through this without falling into the blame game.