been in a horriable relationship for 4 years
but i want to leave in a months time
please help
and my bf (absuser)gave me a crap 21 birthday and this morning cause i was coughing he said why dont u drop dead
ur waking me up i have the flu u see
2006-10-25 23:18:41 · 28 answers · asked by yates1239 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
there are two date i can leave 27/10/o6
or 27/11/06 which 1 he goin liverpool on the, days
2006-10-25 23:44:03 · update #1
stop calling him
if he called don't answer.
forget about him and move on to plan B witch is finding a new bf
2006-10-25 23:22:11 · answer #1 · answered by Donets'k 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For God's sake girlie, get out now!! Don't wait.
Why should you have to put up with being bullied heavily from the person who's role is supposed to protect you. If you have the flu any decent human being would look after you, not throw anger and emotional guilt your way.
If it's only verbal abuse you're getting then just walk away now. If he has become physically abusive towards you you have to report him to the police. If you don't, you may get out of this relationship unharmed but the next girl may not. Find somewhere you can stay for a while, home, with a friend, etc, and when he's out, pack your stuff and go there. Don't answer his calls and don't contact him. Stay away from your usual hang-outs for a while in case he tries to find you. No-one deserves to be put through that, especially women. Men like that are just cowards and don't deserve to be happy if they make others unhappy.
2006-10-25 23:42:27 · answer #2 · answered by James M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wait a month?
Ok so first up find somewhere else to live - either crash round with a friend, get a room in a shared house or your own place if you can afford it. Make sure you have everything in place and friends on hand to help you move quickly - a couple of extra people plus a van will make all the difference on the day. Don't tell the *sshole where you're going and get Royal Mail to forward your post for you.
Good luck
x
2006-10-25 23:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by frenziedmonkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiya, ok i think u have a choice of places to go. u can go either to ur parents or to a shelter. personally i`d choose ur parents place as they`ll give u the love and support u`ll need. i read a lot of ur other questions, u sound lovely and caring. u shouldn`t have to be going through all that.. if ur boyfriend starts turning up at ur parents then fone the police. get a restraining order put on him. if he persists after that the police will be able to act.
i`m so sorry for wot u`ve been through. ur 21st should be memorable for the right reason. wen ur away from this guy that is abusing u give it a while then give urself a belated 21st celebration. get as many of ur friends and family together and get urself bladdered and have the time of ur life! i hope ur flu clears up quickly it`s the last thing u need at the moment. i hope this helps u and i wish u the very best of luck in ur future
2006-10-26 01:00:46 · answer #4 · answered by graham f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy birthday sweety - know its been crap so far but u can make it better.
call this number 0808 2000 247 - they will give u details of womens refuges near you where u can get out to now. just take some clothes, toiletires and you cash/cheque book etc.
the number is for england - not sure where u are - but they will redrect u if you are not in England. u can try womens aid aswel.
leave now if u can, if you cant call them and talk about how to do it. You're only going to do it when u are ready and u sound ready now. sounds like bcos its your b'day you are more motivated bcos he treated u bad. i'm guessing he treats u bad other times and u let it go bcos u are used to it, but part of u hoped that it would be a bit better today, and u know what? if he had given u even a card and a kiss u probably wouldnt even be thinking about leaving him bcos u have got to a point where u think so little of yourself and u are grateful for any scrap of emotion he throws your way. You are so much better than this. act on your anger now before he beats it out of u.
lots of luck hun.
x
2006-10-25 23:34:38 · answer #5 · answered by third space 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wait for a month to do this? You are a strong person simply because you are asking for help and hell that takes guts girl. Look, you can do this. I don't know if you two live together but if so move out now not later. Go to your parents place or a reliable friend. If its your place tell him that you not taking his abuse anymore and you want him out. If you scared then take someone of authority like your dad or older brother, friends dad or even the police with you. You have the right to be protected. Remember emotional abuse is just as serious as physical abuse, YOU deserve better. Don't wait because it wont get better.
2006-10-25 23:28:23 · answer #6 · answered by Jenna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he wont let you walk out then theres other ways to do it. If he works you could have a safety house eg friends relatives just take a few clothes over there everyday unitl you have what you need. If you can afford to rent a place do that on the sly until you are set up then when he is at work one day when everything is ready clear the rest of your things and leave him. My mum did this about 9 years ago cause my dad was really abusive.
2006-10-25 23:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by cheekykim17 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THe best thing that you can do is just walk away and dont look back that is the best. People in abusive relationshipships tend to go back as they start to feel unloved as the only way they have had attention in the past was by being abused. You have to have the strengh to go and stay away. Loose his phone number and try to forget he was ever in your life, if not you will never go forward. Good Luck
2006-10-25 23:57:45 · answer #8 · answered by Helpless 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and save some money secretly, when you leave dont tell anyone (i mean anyone) where you are going, take your important docs with you, passport, bank cards, deeds to house, birth certificates, etc....
leave and dont look back. if you feel very frightened you coudl alert the police that you are planning to leave a domestic violent situation. they may put a marker on your house, meaning they will respond super quick (usually this means within 24 hours so dont rely on them to be there quickly!).
if you want more info and are in the UK check out womens aid website.
www.womensaid.com (i think, but it might be .org)
good luck, you are worth more than that
mail me if you need more advice babes
kt_sub2000@yahoo.co.uk
2006-10-25 23:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by kt_sub2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
E gads girl get the hedouble toothpicks out of there run dont walk to the nearest shelter make a plan get money and just go... no goodbys if you got kids take them with you . No human deserves to be treated like that yes you can make it on your own .
Ill be praying for you.
2006-10-25 23:29:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the national domestic violence helpline on 0808 2000 247. They will listen to you and give you advice as to whats the best way to go about this. Abusive partners have a tendency to come looking for you when you leave them. So best call for some advice.
2006-10-25 23:34:14 · answer #11 · answered by Quintus T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋