\What did you give up? What are the sacrafices? Was it worth it? Did it cost a lot of money? I am thinking about being a father at 20.
2006-10-25 22:40:37 · 10 answers · asked by Go For Broke 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
To me, the sacrifices of being a parent have been worth it, but then again I was ready. If you are not ready, then the sacrifices will be burdensome to you and you will resent your new life, and possibly resent your child. DO NOT take parenting lightly, and do not just have a child because you think you are ready. This is a step in your life that will be forever.
When you can give up everything in your life....privacy, freedom, money, social life, etc etc etc and be 100% OK with it, then you are ready.
2006-10-26 02:42:32 · answer #1 · answered by deerogre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you give up? A lot amount of freedom and spontaneity
What are the sacrafices? You are no longer the most important person in the world. It revolves around somebody else.
Was it worth it? Yes
Did it cost a lot of money? You will not believe how much. Think of a number, double it, then add some more. Then school starts.
I am thinking about being a father at 20. Stay thinking for another 10 is my advice.
2006-10-25 23:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow - why, what's the hurry. I'm 29 and just had my second baby 11 days ago. There's never a perfect time to have a kid, but you're young and having a kid will restrict many of the things you're gonna want to do over the next few years. I'd wait. Does it cost a lot of money? - yes, formula really gets expensive. If you have a good family, they'll help you out big time in the beginning with gifts and asking to watch you kid. Was it worth it? - having a kid changes everything you know about life. I came home from work yesterday and was very hungry. I had bought groceries and my 15 month old wanted to play. I fed her, changed her and fed my 11 day old and next thing you know it's one and 1/2 hours later and I still hadn't eaten. Small things like that - not that it's a bad thing though. Kids come first and your priorites get rearanged. Kids can show you a way to look at life through different eyes, but I'd wait in your case. In addition, if things don't work out with you and your girl/wife, you're creating problems for yourself in the future right now. Enjoy your freedom now - go to places you've never been before. Buy some things. Go out. It becomes very difficult to continue your current lifestyle once there's a kid in the picture.
2016-05-21 21:45:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 beautiful children and I could go into how wonderful and beautiful they are and how proud I am of them. They are my true happiness and I it's really hard to think back to before I had them and recall what it was like without them. Sort of feel like they've always been with me. They are 12, 9 and 7.
I was 24yrs old when I had my oldest and I look at pictures of my husband and I back than and think "we were just babies" Lol It's so funny how time and aging works. Anyway... I was 20 when we got married but we agreed with each other that waiting 3 yrs would be ideal before starting to have children. So we waited and it was REALLY good that we did. We had that time together just us and when we started having our family we were "ready" for them, as ready as we could be. :D
Being a Parent is difficult!, it's the hardest thing I've ever done at times. Sleepless nights, worry, anxiety, money (lack of it), disappointments, etc... Sometimes i can completely understand why people choose to not have children.
As far as comparing it Single vs Parent there are sooo many good and bad things about both. Not really a comparison it's like comparing Summer and Winter they are just different seasons.
People say being a parent is a sacrafice, but I see it as a blessing. All the difficulties are there to help me grow as well so I'll be ready for my next season in life. We are all just learning along the way. I'm learning to be a parent, so I can help my children later on when they are parents when they come to me with advice or I'll be able to maybe help deal with my teenage grandaughter or grandson because I will have been down that road before. My children are just beginning on their wonderful learning experience and I am sooo excited to have a front row seat.
EDITED: I think that you asking this question shows you will be a good parent there is a maturity in that stepping back and assessing a big decision. I honestly dont' think I was as mature as you are at 20 when I was 20. hehe My husband had I met in Feb 1990 and married in June 1990. We did at least decide to wait 3 yrs to have children and that was really good for us. :D We have been married for over 16yrs now and are really glad we made the choice we did.
Anyway...talk with your potential childs Mom, is she ready? :D
2006-10-25 22:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by Azuresky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married at 19 but didn't become a mother until 32 - that was my choice, because I wasn't ready for the responsibility. I am glad I waited. I did alot of growing up in the intervening years and by the time I was 32, I was ready to give up the independence of working and earning, the 2 holidays a year, the time to spend on my own without having to think about a helpless scrap of humanity that depended on me for everything. Being a father at 20 is not so demanding as being a mother but consider very carefully as you have to put your baby needs before your own. Your life with a child will be very different from your life without and if you're not yet prepared to make allowances (give up evenings out, money to spend on treats for yourself, including smoking and alcohol), wait until you are.
2006-10-25 22:56:04 · answer #5 · answered by anabelezenith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T. Wait as long as you can before you give your freedoms up. It's beyond sacrificing. The demands are binding for at least 18 years of your life and think back to when you were a teenager which isn't a stretch, and remember the trouble with teenagers.
As far as cost yes it is expensive--I wouldn't even consider having a child until I had thousands of dollars in the bank and a reliable source of income and good insurance coverage for anything that could possibly go wrong. Ask your parents and other adult friends about their experiences with children. If they are honest and forthcoming they'll tell you the truth of it.
2006-10-25 22:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Become a father when you're ready, both mentally and financially. yes it does cost allot, for diapers, formula, and cloths just for starters. As for the sacrifices, well you'll be spending a great deal of time caring for the child's needs and not just yours. Was worth it? Yes it is. My kids have added so much happiness in my life that having them is more than worth the petty little sacrifices that come with being a parent.
2006-10-25 23:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by Phil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you make a choice. you can either grow up and be a good parent or continue to go out, party etc. and suck as a parent. dont get me wrong, you can still go out and have fun you just have to be careful not to have toooo much fun or forget what matters most. you have someone more important to take care of. is it worth it? yes indeed. theres nothing anymore rewarding. it does cost alot. your childs smile, hugs and kisses can make your day and life a much better one!!!!
2006-10-25 22:50:01 · answer #8 · answered by tangela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you give up love
ti small to notice
you better believe it
you don't miss it
wait till your 25 you'll be more mature and able to handle it
2006-10-25 23:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by wil_t52 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell by the nature of your question that you are not ready for this big step.
2006-10-25 22:49:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋