Am I the only parent in the world who has an almost 5yo boy who still has accidents?

Question

Forget staying dry overnight...I think he will be in a pull up for the rest of his life. It is sooooo frustrating to still have to bring a change of clothes wherever we go because he is just tooo busy to stop and use the bathroom. If I dont remind him, he will jsut stand there with his legs crossed. Amusing to look at I must say....UGHHHHH It is getting better but at this stage of the game he is the only child I know of in his class with this problem or maybe the other parents dont like to admit their child is just like mine.....no one to discuss this with here.

Any ideas???? How can I make my son realize that he needs to go when his body says so.

He will also poop his pants 3-4 times a day if he has to have a BM instead of just sitting on the toilet. Of course I sit here venting when tonight he actually did go on his own for the very first time. But I am sure he will revert back to his old ways...

Thanks for letting me vent.... =)

Thanks to everyone who answered. They are all helpful...esp. the boy driving the benz..lol I look forward to reading more replys as they come in. Thanx.

Answer 1

No you are definitely not the only one. mshellros had a a good answer that should give you some comfort. Children are all so different. Today I saw a girl who was like 4 switching a pacifier and a baby bottle in and out of her mouth. I wouldn't judge the girls mother for that. I just figure that those things comfort her and she fights to hold onto her babiness. Mosts doctors now say that the official potty training window is 3-5 years for boys and girls. However, there are outliers on either side of that scale. I personally believe in facilitating a child when they let you know they want to be potty trained. I don't believe in trying to force it on them when they are resistant. Two of my friends potty trained their daughters at 5 years old. They were both great moms. They weren't lazy by any means. I think a lot of parents that train extremely young are probably the lazy ones. They are selfish and don't want to change their kids diapers. My friends both understood that was what their daughters needed. One of them actually completed an entire year of pre-school before she let her mom know that she was interested in training. Even a few years back, at a play date I met a mom who had a 5 year old daughter in a diaper. I remember she had pooped her diaper towards the end of the day, and the mother was trying to get her to leave so she could change her. The little girl plopped right down on her dirty diaper (which was heavily soiled) and kept playing. I still think it was pretty cute. I don't view a 5 year old as some huge old kid, but more of a baby or toddler. That little girl was sure oblivious to what some prudeish parents may have said about her. Why do parents always want to force their kids to grow up before they're ready? There are probably other children in your sons class with the same issue, but most parents wont let you know that. I only mentioned girls as examples, but I know boys are often even more stubborn. Personally, I don't like pull-ups and I'd use diapers until I knew he was closer. Try to ignore people that are rude to you and your son. Consider regular diapers, and enjoy him. Soon this will all be a distant memory. You'll probably joke about it one day soon. It's all in your state of mind. choose to enjoy this little extra babying. Good luck until the break through.

Answer 2

You may be giving him too much liquid to drink if he has to go to the bathroom that often. Regulate his meals, and liquids to 3 full meals a day, and 1 snack. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacktime. He should not drink ANYTHING 2 hours before bedtime. I dont care if he cries and says hes thirsty. He's not. You MUST MAKE him go to the bathroom, reminding him all the time, so he gets into a routine. He also may be afraid of the bathroom, of going in the toilet.
My ex-sister in law had the same EXACT problem, and her son was still doing it until he was 13, as far as I knew, he still may be since I havent seen them in years. But her son was frightened of using the toilet, his grandparents when he was a baby from 2 years old and on babysat him, and would flush his head in the toilet because he accidently made a poo-poo or went pee in his pants. Sad, but true. You need to try and make going potty fun, reward him after he has gone on his own. Show him how happy you are, and give him a toy, it doesnt have to be costly. Your son is young enough to change his behavior. You can do it! Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Wow, this is frustrating. All children develop at different rates, maybe your son is just a little slower in learning to use the bathroom than others. I have heard of quite a few children that still have this problem. I would remind him often especially before he leaves the house, or goes to bed or goes out to play etc. I too did this when I was that age, I was just having too much fun to take time out and use the bathroom. It passes. If it goes too long you may want to check with your doctor. My stepdaughter is 9 and she is battling a bedwetting problem, she sleeps in pull ups every night. Don't worry you are not alone, and neither is your son.

Answer 4

well easy one first. Wetting at night ..very common. I used the mat and bell technique to train my daughter at 6.5. So you have ages yet before you can do something(they like to wait till 7 for boys). As for daytime..i would make him responsible for himself (as hard as it will be) he has an accident, then he cleans himself up, by himself no help from you. He needs to tip the poo in the toilet and then put his clothes in a bucket then dress himself. He will soon realise this is not a great thing to do and stop. My son would hold on and if he was busy wee a little in his undies to relieve the pressure some and keep playing, so this is what I did and it worked

Answer 5

Hang in there sister, it will get better. Both my nephews resisted potty training and acted the same way. I swear, they were both barely potty trained when they started kindergarten! My own son wet the bed until he was 12, poor kid. But he practically potty trained himself at about 14 months...I know, one of the very very rare ones! My friend has a son who is now 16, who until he was about 12, didn't realize when he had to have a bm, he said he didn't feel a thing until it was exiting his body! It's the only case like that I've heard of, and boy did that kid suffer because of it. So...okay, I was absolutely no help whatsoever, but I'm here and I care, okay? Good luck with your son, and no, you are not alone with this.

Answer 6

Wow...boys do that? Gee and I had a hell of a time with my daughter. It was hell there for awhile. She had accidents all the time. But within 6 months after starting kindergarten she started really watching the other kids and learning from them. Do you know that a month before she turned six has been the last time that she had an accident? Thank god. I know what you are going through. It was hell because I was blaming myself on maybe doing something wrong. Nope...she just wasn't ready to stop using diapers.

Answer 7

Boys take longer then girls to be potty trained and many boys have accidents at night until they are 8 or 10 years old.
You have a problem under the day too ...i would go see a doctor to rule out that its nothing medical wise.
I`m pretty sure that you are just tired of changing his poop and just dealing with all of this at his age.....i would be too.
If its nothing medical mebay it help to find another boy that he like and looks up to and have him talk about the big boy potty thing,if he hears it from a friend that is not cool to poop in diapers anymore and that big boys using the potty mebay he will try that.
good luck!!

Answer 8

As he gets older he'll start going to the bathroom more often without you telling hI'm to, because that's how i was when i was little my mother had to literally push me into the bathroom, but now that im 13 i can go to the bathroom by myself it's nothing wrong with it, your son is probably just at that stage where he doesn't' wont to miss anything in life. So just be patient with him and help him out.

Answer 9

He just seems to PRE occupied to remember himself to use the bathroom..Our 5 yr old sometimes has accidents..BUT only has a poop one if he's got diarrhea...I think we've all had accidents one time or another...I'd let him stay in the dirty pants and stop buying pull ups...it's allowing him to KNOW if he pees...so what...What we did was purchase the Depends Under pads..place them under where he sleeps and put the sheet over it...DON'T let him know that it is there..cause then he'll just pee the bed ~knowing you'll come change it. He seems to be just lazy..if he has to stay in it for awhile..he won't like it and he'll stop...unless he's got a bladder control problem..but that wouldn't be for the pooping part..just lazy and pre occupied seems to be the case..

Answer 10

Oh, kids are kids. It seems to me that you are a working mother. Well, be patient with him. He's a late bloomer and all he could do is to become as playful as he is right now. But then, all I know, a toilet habit must be introduced to the kids at an early age... 2 -3 years old. Just the same, he will adjust to before you finally realized that he did. As I have said, please be patient.
Do be of good cheers. GOD BLESS THE CHILD.