Martial arts sparring?.......?

Question

I use to do Taekwondo for a few years, and actually learnt a lot about defending myself, but sparring against other women was fine, and some what evenly matched, and the women, really get into it,....i also learnt other styles of martial arts, and i used to spar with my partner who is a black belt, and some of the other guys, and it's amazing how the guys are actually afraid almost to make any real contact when you're a woman because they think they will hurt you, so you can never sparr fully with a guy if this is the case how can a woman have any real idea of how to use their martial arts skill effectively to defend herself against a man...is it because the guys are afraid of hurting us women when sparring?.......i think we're a lot tougher than you guys care to think.

Answer 1

I've sparred with women, and I do go a little easier on them, but I certainly don't let them win just because they are women. It's just a fact of life that men are naturally stronger, and it's seen as rather wrong for a guy to completely deck a woman who is smaller than he is, even if she can fight well.

Hell, my 6 year old daughter has managed to beat me up once. I was play fighting with her. That kid has one hell of a punch, and very narrowly missed hitting me in the groin.

And then she had the gall to trip me over while I was hopping around in pain!

Little bugger picks up too much from tv and all those wrestling shows, I think.

It's a good thing though. She should learn how to defend herself, especially since she is deaf and won't be able to hear people sneaking up on her.

Women are a lot tougher than men think, but I just don't fancy getting into an all out brawl with one. I'm a passive kind of a guy, and I hate men who beat up on women, even if it's only a sparring match. But I'm not afraid to get into a fight if I'm attacked by one.

Answer 2

No, martial art without sparring is not useless. It is different. It is wrong and inaccurate that traditional martial art place kata over other aspects of training. There may be schools that do that, but that is not indicative of the traditional arts. Most of the schools that I have seen that place an extreme high emphasis on sparring actually do not spar the correct way for the art. They are sparring in a manner that lead to bad habits and is only preparing for tournaments instead of self defense. Tournaments says points are only score when you hit these targets. However, those targets are not the best targets for self defense. If you spend the majority of your time doing that that is how you will fight if you were attacked. Just like your sparring partner can withstand those strike so can the persons on the streets, alleys, bars, etc. Therefore you have not ended the threat. You have only upset the person that is attacking. Now you are in a fight instead of controlling the environment. Kata is good teaching tool. It allows you to practice your art without a partner. But you must also include a partner in your training or the kata itself is no good. It is just exercise IMO at that point. You need to learn timing, distance, focus, control, etc. You also need to be able to use your techniques under pressure. Beginners learn you punch I respond with this set of counters. More advanced you don't know what the attack is, but you must counter. Even more advanced you do know an attack is coming or how many, but you better be able to defend. It is a progression.

Answer 3

This is an interesting post. I think men instinctively find it difficult to spar or hit women, as we have been brought up in a manner which has taught us that it is wrong. I know when I have sparred or had a physical confrontation with a woman I will restrain her rather than striking out. The reason for this is that we have been taught that we shouldnt hit women and are scared of hurting them. In addition when free sparring with a woman if you take a strike to your stomach it could actually stop you from having children. This isnt to do with your strength or physical pain threshold. It is to do with your anatomy. This aside I can understand your concerns that you will never get a feel of what it is liked to be attacked by a man and potentially this couldnt be danagerous when in a real situation. However when faced with a situation whether that is sparring or a real situation your main concern shouldnt be can i take this physically. It should be defusing the situation or avoiding the blows.

Answer 4

It was a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class that I had to spar with a woman, and I was not holding back. But you have to understand, there's hardly any hitting in BJJ. At least I wasn't hitting, but more like wresting. She then complained that I'm too "aggressive." So that's my only experience with women in martial arts.
I'm sure not all women are afraid to spar seriously, but if I would have to face a woman in a Martial Arts where hitting is required, then I would surely hold back. The reason for this is that I've been thought not to "raise my arm" towards the opposite sex. I've been living my life that way, so much so, that it would be very weird if I would make an exception, even though it would be an acceptable one.
That's my reason.

Answer 5

It takes a male with a good sense of SELF-esteem to be willing to spar with a girl/woman/lady (pick the politically correct word of your choice so I don't insult anyone).

Being a male and sparring or fighting with a female is a NO-WIN situation. In our bigoted, culturally scarred world, the male is expected to win - no matter how much better or physically skilled the woman may be. And God forbid that he should lose because (again no matter how much better or physically skilled the woman may be) he shall be the endless butt of teasing and hassling by the other males.

Third, you and I both know that no matter how much you try and control the physical contact of sparring and fighting, sometimes a good hit or punch slips through. Just like I said above, if it's the male that gets in the accidental "good punch", everyone comes down on him and if it's the female that lands the good shot, he gets teased and hassled unmercifully.

I have been there. I have been involved in various martial arts especially judo and tai chi. Being a short male (5'5") and of light weight (in those days), if there was no other female in the group, I was always the one chosen to spar/fight with the female in the group. It was a miserable situation to be in.

If you want to spar with the guys, I suggest that you set up the session as quietly as possible. Attract little to no attention to the event and have a trustworthy witness that will keep his or her mouth shut. Then you might find a male that's willing to spar with you because that will lessen the other factors that I mentioned.

You might also check with the police or an organization that knows of males that train females in self defense. Often they can arrange for you to get some practice with a male.

Answer 6

If a guy does that, Just hit him harder and YOU kick up the fight a notch. When he disapproves, call him a pansy and hit even harder.

He will have two options now:

1- get his *** kicked by a girl (which if he is bieng chivalrous during a SPARRING session, he is wrong and insulting to even be considering with his ego in this fasion),

Or

2- Step it up to fight out of fear of being beaten by a girl.

If he doesn't respond to you saying to hit or go harder then he has this bs chivilrous ego which has no place in training against a sparring partner and you going harder forces his ego into the choice above.

That is of course provided that he really is your equal and if he is better than you then you don't learn anything by just getting floored, or if he isn't able to compete with you because you are much better then he is, then you shouldn't be trying to simply floor him, Its sparring, you want to spar realistically, but also want to learn too.

Of course be prepared for the response. I think men will naturally hold back against a female sparring partner at first. Just show him that you can pick it up a notch and he will respond in kind.

Answer 7

There is also the fact that many of "us" are taught never to hit a woman and always to protect women and children. When I was new to the martial arts I often had a hard time balancing my parents' lessons with my MS learning.

Skip ahead a year and one of my instructors was a woman and she taught me to hit harder. AND encouraged me to spar harder. One day she simply said... "You have to look at me as you opponent when we are sparring. OK, so you were raised with good values and morals -- never hit a woman, protect the weaker sex, etc. What happens if its ME - the weaker sex - that wants to kill your wife? What are you going to do then?"

Every time I take a class or teach a class I see my partner if two lights: Someone that can help me learn. Some one that's pushing me to grow.

Man or woman doesn't matter.

Answer 8

Against higher-belt girls/women I spar just as hard as I would any guy. Being raised by a single mother who was and is a feminist, I'd also never have a problem with hitting a woman in real self defense the hardest I could. I truly see people as equals, and won't hold back.

Answer 9

lol Give a male sparring partner a bloody nose and he'll get with it. I used to do Karate and Aikido and people never took me seriously because I was smaller than them. Then I beat my Sensei

Some guys will still hesitate but a few might take you seriously. As for myself, I'd always try not to hurt girls so I'd just put them in a hold until they conceded. It's not quite the same as going all out but at least I tried to give a bit more of a challenge.

Answer 10

No matter who it is I always watch my power in my strikes because I never wanna injure my classmates.

But I know that women can be just as tough as a guy, we had a couple of adult females in class and they was pretty tough and gung ho about our sparring and ground fighting techniques, and never held back so it was more fun to spar them and not have to worry too much about being really careful, but I still watched myself because again I don't wanna injure my classmates because I want them to return to class and not have to spend time out nursing the injury.

Mostly though I'll spar to their belt ranks or their ability instead of full on sparring, and act accordingly, if there's an injury though, each one of us in the class knows what we were gettin' in to in the beginning; even the women.

and depending on if she's wearing the sparring gear (or what part of the sparring gear) or not is another guage I use to enforce my control on my techniques