How do I break up with my boyfriend? We've been together for 3 years.?

Question

We've become very serious over the past few years and have talked about marriage. One of the problems is he's 30 and has full custody of his kids. That's where his priority is now and I fully understand and respect it. I'm 23 and have started started looking at my life and what I want. And I'm pretty sure, it's not a relationship and a family right now. I've picked up hobbies and volunteering and with work, we don't see eachother as much anymore. I love him to death but I don't want to be in a relationship right now and we've started to grow apart. We've broken up a few times and have always gone back to eachother and I think it was because of convience. I guess I'm just asking if there's a way I can explain to him how I feel and if I can lessen the heart break for him because this time I don't want to go back. I want to concentrait on my life and see what comes my way in every aspect.

Answer 1

Tell him exactly what you just posted. Nothing is more meaningful than the truth.

Answer 2

in case your giving it up (and also you already know what i'm speaking about) or residing with him or both you aren't to any extent further gonna make him marry you. He has what he needs, no elect to progression. that's what takes position lately. women people ought to offer up putting the cart till now the pony. in case your no longer doing any of that, odds are he's doing slightly of it with someone. Male or female. because a guy would anticipate marriage, yet he might want to then pursue making that marriage ensue. To do no longer some thing skill he has his desires met. And is complacent. basically adult men elect nutrients, sex and television. If he's with out one, he will get up and take the time to have that elect met, ie marriage. existence is too short to sit down down round and turn old waiting for him to develop into miraculously waiting. you're squandering invaluable youngsters. quickly your butt will carry and your boobs will sag and he will say bye bye. And he will discover yet another youthful aspect to attend round. even as you need to settle for an old guy.

Answer 3

Why don't you want a relationship or family? If you want to ever have your own children, now's the time in life to do it- or so they say. There's no way to lessen the break, emotionally. You'd be hurting him. He might never forgive you, might deny; ever knowing you. First figure out for sure, how you feel, then tell him. Everything you said you want to do, you can with out ending the relationship. End it, and it's possible, nothing much will come your way.

Answer 4

Breaking up is so very hard to do. But it's your life. You need to do what makes you happy. If you two were meant to be together than it'll happen, mayb its just not the right time. It's hard but like you said he's 30 and you're in your early 20's. He has been there done that phase of his life, you havn't. Think about what the relationship means to you, and if it's worth saving/keeping. In the end there will be tears. It's up to you whether they are happy ones or sad ones.

Answer 5

one day you will wake up next to a hairy guy you met at a club whos name you cant remember with yoru biological clock running out and you'll wish you stuck it out with Mr 30 year old guy with kids.

Sure the commitment scares you, but living la vida loca at the clubs getting your groove on until you're ready is risky. All teh good ones will be gone by the time you are 30.

I say you stick it out - - You wont lose your individuality by sticking in this relationship.

You guys just need to talk it over.

Answer 6

K. Check this out. Before you talk to him you have to make sure your mind is completly made up, because if its not then he will influence you into thoughts of staying with him. Because its easy when your rehearsing the talk but when its face to face and your looking into his eyes its a while nother story.

If you want the talk to be easy then its very very simple. INTEND IT. Before you have the talk, just intend that the talk will go very smothly anf intend for him to understand your feelings and intend that you will communicate everything correctly. Intention is so powerful.

Answer 7

you need to tell him exactly what you have said now, That you do love him, but you are not in love with him. Its not anything that he has done but the fact that you are both in different places in your life. you want time to have your own life and do things us normal 23yr olds do.....maybe one day there is hope for you but tell him you need you time, Unfortunately nothing lessens the pain of a broken heart

Answer 8

i know how it feels to move on after you been together for so long. It is extremely hard!!!! But just picture yourself 10 years from now, do you really want to be him and his kids?? You deserve a fresh start, to start your own family and not have someone elses kids. put yourself first and dont think about him. he will be okay. dont sacrfice your future for the man you are not planning to marry !!!!

Answer 9

Tell him the absolute truth. But be sure and tell him how you understand his priority is his kids and that this is very commendable. Just be honest -he'll want what is best for you if he's a good guy.

Answer 10

There is no way you can break up with him that won't hurt, but being honest is the best way to be able to remain friendly with him long term. Explain it to him in pretty much the same way you explained it to us. He'll be crushed and try to convince you to change your mind, but in the end there's nothing he can do but accept your decision.

Answer 11

It's not gonna be easy. I'd say just tell him. Went through something like this recently as well--it's not fun. Just do your best to be firm, and don't loose your head in your heart.