Did i get played?

Question

This guy spent almost a year chaseing me before i decided to pay him any mind. When I did i found out he was this great guy, funny, sweet, etc... We went to college together and he graduated, but we kept in contact with each other. In fact we spoke on the phone every night for hours!!! One time we stayed on till dawn. Was I right to assume things were going good? Then i realized that he had a picture of his ex next to a picture of mine on his social netwoking page. This struck me as strange because he supposidly didn't speak with her anymore! After some digging and confrontation, it turns out they were sleeping together. Later on they got back together only to break up less than a month later (though they still sleep together). I asked a mutial friend of ours that i trust and he said that he had really really liked me. So my question is what happened? When I asked him he said he was emotionally unstable and would rather be friends because he was afraid of hurting me. Can I believe him?

Answer 1

I think he really was interested in you and saw some potential.. As a guy, I sure as hell wouldnt talk on the phone with a girl for hours if I didnt have strong feelings for her... I think maybe he was growing emotionally attached to you, while he was physically attached to his exgirlfriend... I don't think you got played, I think he was genuinely intrigued by you and I think he's being honest when he says that he doesn't want to hurt you, but I think there is more that is hidden under the surface.

Answer 2

Got played because the two picture were right next to each other. He knew he was playing both of you at the same time. It's not like he only had her picture, or only had your picture. And right next to each other, he must of thought it was all funny. He might have liked you but not enough. He was still sleeping with her and later they got back together and still sleep together. You were there to distract him and in case he needed a back up. Maybe he also later thought you were a good person and decided to stop playing you cause you would be hurt.

Answer 3

Guys are nuts girl... He probably does like you alot but if he is like any other guy.. he wants to keep all options open.
Treat him the way you were when he was chasing you.. don't have long convos about what is going on with him or n e thing then you will just look like a ****** to him.
The saying about there are too many fish in the sea is right.. Don't waste your precious time on a weirdo.. either he will realize he is crazy and you are just too damn sexy to give up or he won't at least then you'll know it wasn't worth your time n e waysss.

Hope this helps a lil

Answer 4

Guys Rules to Dating.

Number 1: Don't ever admit to a woman that you still hang out with an ex.
Number 2: Don't ever admit to one girl that there is another woman in the picture.
Number 3: Don't get caught in bed with a woman that you are supposedly not involved with.

Ok so this guy talks to you and gives you the sweetheart oh I'm so special you're so special lets be friends bullshit. Then goes back to his ex to get laid. Alright friends with beneifts. Works sometimes. But in your case honey, you were the next notch on his axe. You were the next scratch on his bedpost. Any guy like that is after one thing, a good time. So his ex plays games with him, it gives him a rise and bam they are making hanky panky. All I am saying is he isn't afraid to hurt you. You should already be hurt that a friend would go back on what he/she just said. So he proves himself a liar. Did he have feelings for you. Yeah maybe but who cares. Sounds to me like he was going to get milk when he had a cow close to home, if you catch my drift. Don't believe anything a guy says. Take it from a guy. And if you have to think about it. It's because he wanted you to think about it. Thinking is not knowing and knowing isn't thinking. You sound like a thinker and he sounds like a knower. Only thing he didn't know was that you were checking up on him. Such good talent and loving spirit to let go to waste on someone that apparently wasn't floating his boat back then and apparently didn't want to flaot it more than a month. Good luck and move on. Hope this helps even though it doesn''t really answer your question. I've read alot of books and tried to write a few. Sounds like this is page 1 of "things I used to do until women realized I was an a**hole" He's got alot more learning to do. Hope you find a dumb one that you can mold like clay. Make him a pretty flower pot. or a picture on the wall. Just don';t give him any ideas of doing something for himself. That's when guys revert back to theirselves. Thanks for letting me get all that out. Good luck and happy training.

Answer 5

You have so many divergent questions besides the headliner. I'll answer your last question first. Yes you can believe him when he says he's emotionally unstable and wants to be friends because he is afraid he'll hurt you. Answer to headline question: No. Even if you decide to be romantic with him now, it is your decision and you know the rules. In the beginning you experienced joy and openness and love. I think you only got played if you thought it was a game.
Good luck and may you find true love.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, no you can't trust him either. My goodness what games guys play too. So if he really, really liked you, what was he doing still sleeping with his ex. Many, many times guys will use the excuse of "emotionally unstable" or "I don't want to be unfair to you" or "I really like you yet I still need time to figure myself out". There are a million excuses. ****, he already hurt you by you finding out he was still sleeping with his ex. Move On.

Good Luck,
O'hock

Answer 7

As lame as it seems, it sounds truthful. Think of it this way, you guys were apart from each other for a while, he probably ran into his ex and old emotions rose up. Although it does sound like you got played, I think him saying that he'd rather stay friends so he doesn't hurt you seems pretty sincere. He probably does like you and would rather keep you close as a friend rather than lose you over his stupid male hormones.

Answer 8

what happened was he was just looking for someone to fill his time while he worked on getting his ex back. So yes you got played I know because it has happened to me. Don't let it get you down there is someone out here for us all I am still looking so be patient and the right one will come along for us both

Answer 9

Sooo... she came back for a taste and became a regular.

Guess you should have not let him get away.

Live and learn.

From what little info you gave, I don't think you got played... I think you were slowly betrayed by omission. All the time he was talking to you into the night, he was keeping the secret about his ex, for what reasons only you and him know (possibly).

Answer 10

It sounds to me like he wanted his cake and eat it to, as the saying goes. He wanted to be with her. But he needed a back up when ever they were not together. His friend may be telling the truth he may really like you. But I think he is in love with his EX and can not move on. So I think it would be best for you to either keep him as just a friend. Or move on your self.
Good Luck