Should I write the letter of apology or tell him to shove it?

Question

I apologize in advance for the length. Anyway...so I am part of a volunteer organization. A few nights ago I was hanging out at our building with some of the other members. One of them did something to me that was legitimately bothersome and completely uncalled-for. After he fell asleep, I played a couple of small pranks that caused him MAYBE 5 minutes of basic inconvenience and no permanent damage, physical or otherwise - changed one of the phone numbers in his cell phone, hid his sweatshirt (badly hidden, for the record), that sort of thing. Anyway some other guys, without my involvement, later played some more severe pranks on him, which caused our organization's president to get involved. Long story short, he wants me to write a letter to be read out loud at our next monthly meeting in front of most of our members. Should I write it? I would not be further disciplined either way and I want to get him off my back, but on principle I don't really want to write it. Thanks.

thanks for all the responses. it is the president asking me to write the letter, not the "prankee." in fact, he has basically dropped the whole thing and so have I. it is strangely the president who seems to be taking this personally...

Answer 1

So....have your balls completely fallen off yet? If not, tell the 'president' to pi$$ up a rope. This action has NOTHING to do with an apology; this is just a demonstration of his control over you. So, do you let this person manipulate you like a puppet on a string, or do you face him down like a man? If you are kicked out of the organization then so be it. At least you leave with your self respect vs some PC, boot-licking candy-@ssed apology that you were FORCED to make.
I could just puke.

Answer 2

Who wants you to write the letter? The president or the guy you pranked?

Well, either way I wouldn't do it. If the president asked you to write the letter, I would just say that you prefer to handle it on your own. Then apologize to the guy you pranked. Explain that what he did was inappropriate but you understand that your retaliation was uncalled for. You are absolutely not responsible for what the other people did (unless you talked them into it).

I think the best course of action would be just to simply be polite and direct and handle things face to face with this guy. No one has any business expecting you to publicly humiliate yourself over this.

Answer 3

I would offer him privately an apology, but explain what made you decide to do the pranks, which was his behaviour toward you, and that you think an apology is forthcoming from him as well.
Hopefully, both of you will see where you are coming from and drop the whole thing.
I don't think I would make a big public apology, as if he did NOTHING to deserve it. Why should YOUR "innaproprate" behavior be spotlighted ...and not his?

Answer 4

You were wrong and it offended him. Write a letter, as well as apologizing personally, for THE THINGS THAT YOU DID. Not for what the others did.
Maybe the next time you will learn to keep yourself apart from the ones who want to play pranks, so that you have nothing at all to apologize for. (none of the ones doing the serious pranks are standing up for you, are they? That ought to tell you who your friends AREN'T)

Answer 5

He wants a letter, so do you. Everybody involved wants a letter. Keep writing until you're sick of f...ing letters. Soon one of you will turn into a politician and write meaningless letters until the sky falls. What will it get any of you? Take everyone involved outside, have a free for all, pummel the hell out of each other til you get it out of your systems and stop acting like the buffoons you sound like. Better yet, read this letter to all of you.

Answer 6

I think if YOU have to write one, HE should also. If that happens, then yeah, go ahead, get it off your back. He started it after all.

Why are only you being punished? Does the president know how it got started, or only how it ended? And does he know how limited your part was in it? From yet another standpoint: don't admit guilt unless you're prepared for things to go further; for instance, if he decided to sue someone later, could your letter be evidence against you? People are 'sue-crazy' these days.

Answer 7

No...you shouldnt say youre sorry unless you are truly sorry...I think you guys are even as it stands...Did you see that you led the way for others to get involved and take the pranks too far? Shame on you

Answer 8

Apologize to the person you played the pranks on and don't do it again. Nobody likes the embarrassment of apologizing, but if you did the crime, take the punishment.

Answer 9

Ask him to apologize for what he did to you first then apologize to him for what you did and then a pologize for what the others did (clarifying you were not involved), quote " do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and since he started it that meant it was OK with him to play around like that. Or if you are forced to apologize without him doing so when you read your apology begin by explaining what drove you to act like that ( his bothering you ) and then say that by being the mature one or sensible you chose to apologize first to show him ( don´t mention his name just stare at him while reading ) that there is no harm in recognizing a mistake. ( and i would announce at moment that I choose to leave the organization but that is me....)

Answer 10

You didn't do anything wrong!! You did harmless pranks that caused NO HARM to anyone! Why should he get the pleasure of hearing you apologize when it's the other guys who screwed up? Stand up for yourself and tell him you didn't do anything to cause him pain or harm. He's a big boy--tell him to build a bridge and GET OVER IT.