my bf and i just broke up for good, im so scared to tell him i dont love him anymore. i love him, but its the caring kind of love.. and hes bawling his eyes out right now. what should i do? and did i mention hes suicidal? i called his parents and he talked to my father. nothing worked. HELP!
2006-10-25 15:01:28 · 11 answers · asked by Love is Patient, Love is Kind ♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first of all, being honest about your feeling shouldn't make you feel guilty or bad. If it's definatley over with this guy, then you need to move on. However, if he's suicidal, then you need to do exactly what you did, alert the ones who can and should help him, like his parents. His parents need to get involved and take a leading role in his life right now if he's like that, otherwise, they won't be able to help him. I know you're probably worried about him trying to kill himself because you broke up with him, however, you've done your part, and you can't stay in a relationship that's dragging you down just because you feel bad or responsible for the guy. He's his own person and he'll have to make those choices on his own, if he's truly suicidal, then he's going to harm himself with or without you. Don't take responsibility for his actions. Make a good effort to inform his parents just how bad he is right now and then step back, you can't do anything more for him.
2006-10-25 15:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by mercymarie3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I had a boyfriend like that!
Tell him right now, to diffuse the situation, that you both should think about it. Let's take some time and just think about things, I think things got out of hand or whatever...
Then, in a few days ask him out to a neutral place, and have a calm discussion about the future of your relationship. It is not your fault or responsibility that he's suicidal. Why carry all that weight on your shoulders? That sounds cold but its true; if he harms himself he is making his own choice to do that and you are not to blame. In the meantime though, diffuse the situation.
Good luck
2006-10-25 22:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by ValentineP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not let his problem(s) become yours. You are being truthful and that is right. If he were to understand that it is better to know and live in the truth than a lie, he would be able to overcome his seeming pain, and he would quickly return to his normal self. Caring love is great, but don't get pulled in by guilt because that goes nowhere quickly. He also needs a better sense of himself as being OK and complete - maybe he is a little light in the self-worth dept.
2006-10-25 22:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I wouldn't tell him you are not "in love" with him,
Just say you will always care and love him as a friend and you will be there when he needs you, but being a couple isn't right for you at this time. If he is in really bad shape then his parents should take him to a doctor.
2006-10-25 22:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by PeachN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old r u? maybe u could try to talk to him and say you just dont feel that way anymore but still want to be friends and that there will be someone else in his life that will be in love with him the way he wants, its just not you. i cant help that much cos i'm about to be going thru the same thing except we have a child so its more complicated but good luck. maybe he could get counselling?
2006-10-25 22:05:39 · answer #5 · answered by zimba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old the two of you are. If you are young, in your teens, it seems harder to break up with someone than if your in your 30's. Experience is the difference. You talking to him is not going to do any good right now, it will only give him false hope.
2006-10-25 22:09:19 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs some professional help. if he attempts suicide it is not your fault. he might have other things going on in his life you may not know about. sad to say, instead of dealing with certain issues people tend to take the cowardly way out.
2006-10-25 22:06:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing you can do is let it be don't respond to his suicidal threats. tell him how you really feel. you can't sitback in your setbacks waitng on your comebacks. life is too precious to waste on empty love!
2006-10-25 22:05:36 · answer #8 · answered by hustlerpimpininal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you on the Internet if all this is going on? If family that's close by can't help what can you expect us to do?
2006-10-25 22:05:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like he is trying to play on your sympathy....
2006-10-25 22:04:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋