How to deal with unreasonable parents?

Question

I'm honestly a good kid. Im 16, doing damn good in school, planning on going to Stern NYU. I go to church and try to keep my spiritual life in tact. And my parents still aren’t cutting me any slack.
They are making it impossible for me have a damn life. I've been getting asked out and I’ve always turned guys down because I know how my parents are. but I meet a sweet guy who I’ve been talking with and getting to know. I'm really liking him. So I brought it up to my parents and they said harsh things that really crushed my feelings got me really upset and down to crying. They don't know how to talk to me about stuff like that, and are making all the wrong assumptions of me, without me ever giving them reason to feel that way. I feel like a prisoner, and I don’t know how to go about the situation anymore.

Any advice?

Answer 1

your parents are worried about things you may do or the whole peer pressure thing. You need to sit down and talk with them rationally. show them that you are capable of keeping yourself out of trouble and that you know right from wrong and can say no. when it comes to guys talk to them and see if he can come over for dinner or come over and watch movies and such, that way they will get to know him and it will make it easier if you want to go out somewhere and hang out with him. they are just trying to protect thier daughter from all the dangers they see and may have dealt with in some ways as kids. Talk to them

Answer 2

Most of the time parents that seem harsh, are that way for a reason, they are looking out for your wellfair, now on the other hand it is tough being 16, you are kind of caught in the middle of a child and an adult, if you like him remain friends with him and if possible allow your parents to meet him as your friend, maybe they'll warm up a little and see him for the same reasons you do, and then you can try to approach them again, hang in there it sounds like you're a good person and you make wise decisions, just remember they are your parents and they have obviously done a fine job of raising you thus far, good luck!

Answer 3

Hmm. My folks were the same way. Youre absolutely right about your parents not knowing how to talk to you. I suggest that you finish out your years not giving them anything to 'talk' to you about since theyve not an inkling how to do it wisely, patiently, properly. If you need an adult to talk to, find an aunt, grandparent or wise old neighbor/mentor to chat about 'life'.
Your parents dont have the ability!! You can have your friend at school and be cool, be cordial and there's the 'line' drawn. You cant cross over while your parents still have the legal and adult responibilities over you. Cuz what you do now affects them and they cant handle anymore than what's already on their plates. That's just how they are. When you get into college you'll feel less restricted and treated like an adult. The atmosphere is not militant like grade school...you'll feel youre doing your studies for you...for yourself...not for anyone else. That's how adults should feel.
However 'adult' you may feel inside now...youre not, but you wont know that for a long time. ;)
But good luck to you. Keep a smile! :D

Answer 4

I would find a time when they are not inflamed about a topic and explain how you feel. However, if you're looking for support to "date", it is probably not going to happen. They are looking out for your best interest. If talking to them doesn't work, try to find someone at your church you trust, who knows your parents and talk to them for some advice. Being 16 is hard....I remember it, even tho' it was many years ago. hang in there. They love you and want the best for you. Sometimes it's just hard to get parents and teens to see through the same lenses.....

Answer 5

my parents were very strict with me. my parents also had enough trust in me to let me go on dates when i was 16. But i am a man. i let my own daughter start dating when she was 16 but i also knew who she was dating and made sure she had her date pick her up at our house so her mother and i could meet him. i trusted my daughters judgement and let her date with the knowledge that what we taught her was instilled in her mind and she made the right choices. try to understand your parents point of view because i was a little over protective with my only daughter sometimes. love your parents for thinking about your well being and they will see you are trustworthy and cut you some slack. fathers are generally the ones who make rash decisions and mom is usually the one who intervenes and makes things go smoother. good luck.

Answer 6

even though you think things are really bad you are going to college soon and soon enough you will be an adult life is hard sweetie and you cant turn back the hands of time. Belive me im 23 and I wish i was still in high school not having to worry about adult situations. hang out have fun go to the movies and take the time for YOU

Answer 7

You sound like you have a good sound head on you, have you ever tried asking your parents to go to some family counseling with you to learn how to better communicate with each other?

Answer 8

my mother was the same way when i was your age. i couldn't date until i was 18 and by that time i was getting ready to go off to college. i thought she was the most strict parent in the world. now i see that it wasn't me she didn't trust it was the guys who were asking me out she didn't trust

Answer 9

sounds like your parents just want you to do good in life. try talking to them and let them know you want a little slack and you will keep your grades up.

Answer 10

you just said you "regularly" go to church. that is the reason why ur parents are strict. if u think about it, religious parents are more conservative. so, you can try to have as much bond to them and see what happens.