My mother hates me?

Question

My brother starts arguements and she fights for him and never lets me speak. She constantly tells him she loves him and she calls me a *****. She calls me selfish and spoiled. I never ask her for anything. I buy her expensive Christmas gifts and she never says thank you or if she likes it. She uses the last shirt I bought her to dust furniture. She hasn't hugged me or told me she loved me in so long I can't remember when the last time was. The only time she ever talks to me is to tell me to do something or to yell at me. I'm the only one out of her three children that is attending/ever attended college and she still doesn't respect me. She constantly accsues me of lying and doesn't believe a single thing I say. She even favors the dogs over me. I'm sure most of you will think that I am exaggerating, but I can assure you that I'm not. I'm so afriad of talking to her, I don't want another fight, I don't want to hear her say those things. No one else in the house defends me either.

Please someone tell me what to do. I don't know why my mother hates me so much.

I thought it might be because I cut alot of my junior year. My grandmother (along with 3 other members of my family) died and I didn't want to be there.
I may be in college, but I'm still the token f*ck up of the three of us...
Did I mention she's looking to adopt the perfect little girl?

I know I'm not perfect, but why does she hate me?

Everyone is saying to leave her..
I love my mother very much, I want her to love me too. I don't want to cut her out of my life. I want her to care about me like she does my brothers.

..I'm 18. I can't live on my own yet.
And there's no money for a dorm.

Answer 1

This is something that is her problem,sometimes things just don't make sense and neither do people This is a sad way to live, the smartest (not easiest) thing to do - is to just get on with your life, you have to live at home because of finances, so ignore all the nasty comments( not easy) but do it, stop giving gifts - she is using this to hurt you by not acknowledging them. only talk to her and the others when a direct question is asked of you. act like you do not want an hugs etc. you must treat this like it is just somewhere to put your things until you can find other accomodation. start looking for part time work and a share house or flat with other college students. maybe even approach the school councillor and explain the situation, sometimes there are ways to live at the dorm and work off the fees. Get on with your life, she hurts you because she can tell you need her, so stop, pretend if you have to, pretend you don't care and are not hurt, and eventually you will be free and will become the person you are designed to be. we cannot choose our families and sometimes we get stuck with duds, move forward, enjoy life, search out opportunities to improve your life, try new things, join clubs to meet people with the same interests as you, look for opportunities to move out , once you are happy and moving on with life, perhaps your family will seek you out and you can then decide if you want them back in your life. who knows why family can be so awful, but it happens, you are worthwhile, you are special, just remember this and move forward. i will be thinking of you.

Answer 2

Because you are everything she is not, maybe everything she hoped she would be? You attended college, try to be a good person by respecting her and giving her gifts. Some people can't be pleased no matter what you do. Live your life and realize you will not get what you need from her. Nothing you do or say will change that from what you have shared. I am sorry, I hope you have other people in your life who support you. You can't pick your family but you can pick your friends. You can also choose not to associate with people who are unhealthy even if they are family. If you are willing to consider counseling it may be a good thing for you to accept this situation and move on.

Answer 3

From what I have read, you should leave her. If she is causing you so much pain in your life, you can live without her. Have you ever asked her (when she is calm) why she is treating you this way? If she can't give you an honest answer, then she doesn't need to be part of your life then. So sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like that you are doing the best you can. Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm not sure hate is what she feels for you, maybe she is jealous of you. yes, parents can be jealous of there children. its great that you in college. you did not say what you are going there for? anyway, i have to agree with the other advise that you have been given. i think that if you don't already get your self a job, and find a place of your own,maybe even get a room mate. because having to pay things alone, is hard. you wont be cutting your mom out of your life, just putting some space between you and her, so it wont be as easy for her to treat you the way she does.if you are already in a place of your own then i suggest that you stop going over there as often. i don't know you, but you seem very level headed, and you are going to make something of your self. so, please take my advise. and live your life for you, and for what you have to offer your self. good luck!!! ps. sometimes the only one that can defend you is you!

Answer 5

i think she is not happy in her life and with ur other sister's treatment (i dont know how they treat her)but i think she is treatin u this way coz she thinks when u get older like ur other sisters then u will treat her the same as ur sisters does to her
if i were in ur place i would be away of her for a while till she miss me then i will go back to her after she learned how hard it is to loose one of her daughters...i dont think leaving her for the rest of ur life is a good thing coz at the end she is ur mom and one day she will need u,no matter how bad she treats u she will never hate u and the same wiv u
good luck

Answer 6

sounds to me that she's jealous of you and won't know a good thing until it's gone I say give yourself some space from her so you can concentrate on what you need to do to be happy and give her a dose of her own medicine..... don't go around her.... don't buy her anything... and when it's her birthday act like you didn't realize it...sounds mean but maybe then she will see how you feel.....

Answer 7

What would not my mom hate approximately me? >_> She thinks i'm an interest whore. Striving for her interest on a regular basis. while she forgot that i'm 18 and interest fairly isn't what i'm soliciting for.

Answer 8

You know if you and your mom started going to a Christian church and prayed together, read the Bible together, etc...your relationship would totally change for the better. Sounds like satan is trying to destroy your family relations. Don't let him. Go to church. Sign up for Bible Study. You will never regret it. So Good for you. All the negative feelings will slowly turn to positive.
I pray our good Lord directs you.

Good luck in college and God Bless!
If you want prayer by phone go to www.doersoftheword.org

Answer 9

just tell her the truth.... you love her and always will.....
you will always be there for her...but for now,
you need to go one your way....... If you need you can call... let her make the first phone call-- she will get tired
of not having any-one to yell at..............

Answer 10

try staying away from her for awhile. maybe that will help her see how much she needs you and hopefully she will change her attitude.