so my boyfriends mom just died saturday. i understand that he would want to be with his family but hes actually only with his friends all the time. i asked him if i could go with him to just be there for him and he sayd no, when i asked why he sayd it was because his friends were all there with him. im trying really hard not to get mad at him buts why does he only want his friends with him? i feel like at this time it would be for him to be with the people he loves and i thought i was one of them but im starting to think im not. why doesent he tell his friends not to go? why is he only trying to avoid me? does he not really care about me and only his friends?
2006-10-25 14:20:09 · 8 answers · asked by flower g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Almost sounds like maybe there is another girl friend or perhaps some of his family may not like you. Ask him ..be sensitive he just lost his mother.Good luck to you.....
2006-10-26 14:12:28 · answer #1 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, it sounds like he is still hurting inside and is still in a state of denial. Him being with his friends allows him a chance to get away from the pain and seriousness of confronting such a tragedy.
You have this urge to console him, and let him know you are there for him. It's understandable. Losing a family member, especially a parent, is very tough. The best you can do is just be available for him when he needs you, and be understanding of what he is going through. Many men find it extremely difficult to face emotions, especially when it involves showing them outwardly to their loved one.. I know mine does.
Time heals all wounds, give him some time. Just be there if he needs you. In the meantime, try not to worry so much. Take some time for yourself as well. Go shopping, read a book, get a massage!
2006-10-25 21:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by linnaete 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
exactly there isn't a pattern when it comes to grieving. Some people are in denial, others cry in every corner, others spend time with their friends so they don't think about it. Maybe a female company isn't what he needs now. So give him some time and let him be. Being with family sometimes doesn't help at all, believe me.
2006-10-25 21:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be too hard on yourself! my bf did the same thing when his uncle died (both his parents died before he was two so his uncle and aunt raised him). when someone dies that we are very close to, everyone deals with it different ways, and it seems like your bf just wants time by himself. maybe he just wants to take his anger out by getting angry and saying provocative things. i cand definitely understand that you feel angry tho...maybe he didn't mean quite what he said. we all do that. but if he's being bad about breaking up w/ u than don't spare any attitude that he deserves! that's hurtful what he said. i hope that was helpful.
2006-10-25 21:27:07 · answer #4 · answered by skigrrl66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you two been together.
Maybe he only wants people around him who really knew his Mom and who were close to her.
If you really care for him...stop giving him a hard time right now and making this about you.
2006-10-25 21:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His moms death is about him and his needs. If being surrounded by his friends is what he needs then honor it.. Give him the space and quit trying to make it all about your needs!! people grieve is different ways..
2006-10-25 21:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by kitkatish1962 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has some one one the side and his friends are just a ploy.
2006-10-25 21:24:10 · answer #7 · answered by tamara s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give hime time to deal with it how he wants to
2006-10-25 21:26:31 · answer #8 · answered by zimba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋