I was deeply in love with this guy a few months ago. I've since moved on and got over him (though it took a while) after he moved to another country and never returned my calls or e-mails.
I'm now with somebody else and am happy, but not in love (yet). The ex is now back in my country and wants to meet up with me - has not said what for - just to catch up. However, i'm not 100% sure but i'm pretty sure it will lead to cheating as we were very attracted to each other at one point and had an amazing sex life. However, a lot of time has passed and i'm not sure if the chemistry will still be there.
Should I meet up with him or not? I would like to see him again but I dont want to risk my current relationship or cheat on my partner. But I feel I have unfinished business with my ex. - i really thought he was 'the one'.
2006-10-25 14:13:14 · 20 answers · asked by Frankie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How would you feel if your partner did the same to you? Cheating doesn't solve anything, it only ends up hurting more people. By all means, meet up with this guy, catch up and have a laugh. Then go back to your boyfriend. If you feel you can't trust yourself with your ex you should bring your boyfriend. You say you're with a new guy now, your happy but not in love. You've only been together a few months, give it time. How do you know he's not the one if you're willing to give up on what you have already?
And another thing, you're not even sure why he wants to meet up yet. You may be completely wrong about his intentions. He may have met someone else too and genuinely just wants to catch up.
There is no crime in meeting up with an old friend, but unless you want to hurt your current partner, be honest about meeting up with your ex.
2006-10-25 21:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by James M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go backwards, you sound like you were happy until the ex turned up again, and as you said you don't want to risk the current relationship, or cheat on your partner. If you really feel that strongly about your ex and you are going to go through your life, feeling as if there is some unfinished business, maybe you should meet him, but discuss it with your partner, what ever you decide,good luck and god bless, i hope that all turns out okay for you...
2006-10-26 03:01:35 · answer #2 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems you have quite a chemistry with your ex but now that u have moved on stay with your so called partner because he on the otherhand has moved on too so why go back to him when u have the opportunity of a good relationship with ur new lover. If you feel that he is really the one then why didn't u hang on to him? Do you still love him though if u do think about it before u take action because it is hard to reflect back on the past after moving on in the future because let me take u to my experience in highschool after graduating from highschool I felt isolated and this is all because of my crush for my teacher but after moving on I feel special and am still excited to visit when the time comes. But my feeling the bond there that seems more than just closeness or the camaraderie can't let go of it. It's silly isn't it but it is always good to stay in touch with him and get to know about everything but am just wishing to visit and have a chat with him hopefully the right time. All I am saying is look to the future and not the past if u go back for some unfinished business fine but remember it is going to be hard for u to separate your feelings from him once u go back and what if he breaks your heart again u may not only lose him for the second time but ur love of life forever. good luck.
2006-10-25 21:37:12 · answer #3 · answered by Shirley l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a somewhat similar predicament except that I'm totally in love with my current bf. Your ex had his chance. For me, love is totally dead with my ex but we still remained as friends. He says he's in love with me again and i put this question up on yahoo answers too. everyone tells me to move on! He's like a dog that wants his bone back. If you're strong to control ur emotions then no harm with the date unless u'll end up sleeping with each other or do something u might regret later on. Never cheat on your partner!! Karma!! It'll always come back to you. Remember it was his decision to not contact you at all after all this time. Don't think that you're his back & call girl where he can just snap his fingers and you'll come servicing his every whim. Love doesn't work that way. Remember what you're worth. Plenty of fish out there. For me, I totally lost the chemistry with my ex but apparently he's still got the hots for me and still says he loves me and marriage might be in the cards. So what? :)
(^p^;) take care and hope that i make sense to you.
2006-10-26 02:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by debrakhoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move on. I have done the "retro" dating and well it never works. The reason why he now wants to get in contact with you is because you are susceptible to his charms. He figures while I am looking for trade up why don't I tap the old flame first. (I know my words may be a little harsh but its the truth.) If he wanted to catch up he would have returned at least one of your emails. Now that he is back in the country he suddenly wants to catch up. Sounds fishy to me. I say give your new boyfriend a fighting chance and remember would you want him seeing a old flame that he feels he may cheat on you with the old flame? Didn't think so.
2006-10-25 21:41:33 · answer #5 · answered by avid_rafter765 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave the ex alone.
They always come back when you have moved on and are with someone else. Its just a test to see if you have truly moved on and if you go out with them, they will be certain to leave shortly after.
However, if you still have the urge ask yourself this:
Would you have a problem if your current boyfriend went on a date with his ex just to see what was up?
2006-10-25 21:20:25 · answer #6 · answered by m_harvery 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you've moved on, keep moving forward. Don't even consider meeting this guy, you say he didn't return your calls or reply to your e-mails, does he really think he can say "sh*t" and you'll jump on the shovel ? Don't be anyone's doormat and give this guy a very wide berth. Best wishes with your new relationship.
2006-10-26 03:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already knew the answer. You want to meet up with him. It's probably unbearable to wonder about what-if-s, etc.. Relationship is risky in that sense. Listen to your heart. If you feel you want to meet up with your ex, go ahead. He might just want to catch up. If you go though, you might end up thinking more about him and end up hurting both you and your present man. Maybe, you should only meet up with him when you are clear who you want to be with. Good luck.
2006-10-25 22:11:08 · answer #8 · answered by counterculturalist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet in a public place during the day if you have to meet. If you can't trust yourself though not to cheat on your boyfriend, don't go...
2006-10-26 03:04:35 · answer #9 · answered by bovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would you want it done to you, what if your current boyfriend meets up with a old love and f u c k close that chapter of your life in move on
2006-10-25 21:19:14 · answer #10 · answered by Dr shiznet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋