He's been spending alot of time with me and hasn't been keeping up with school. am i the cause?
he also said we should spend less time together, does this mean we're probably breking up?
2006-10-25 12:54:17 · 41 answers · asked by flangel80190 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he also spends alot of time with his friends, and when hes not with me thats what he does, no matter if e spend 2 days out of the week together or 6. ya know? i told him we should take a break until he gets back on his feet in school but he doesnt wan to. help!!
2006-10-25 13:01:50 · update #1
It all depends on how old your boyfriend is. I was in that position, I was 18years old, at uni, and the relationship went strange, it affected my work totally, but I didn't care. Dropped out, but went back to uni and completed a different degree.
Spending less time together could mean that he wants to spend more time with his friends of which he my have neglected while with you. Don't read into that too much, but keep your eyes open to his change in affection. (that's coming from a male)
2006-10-25 12:59:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you care for him then offer encouragement to spend more time on his studies . His future is dependent on this as he will be spending his life in the workforce and likely won't have the options some women (not all women of course )have of being a stay at home caregiver for future children . Just make up for lost time on holidays and the rare occasion when he gets a break from studies . Let him guage his study needs without so much pressure and he'll be grateful . The only need for a breakup would be
a decision by you that your unwilling to accept the importance of his education . Don't take this situation as a declaration that he no longer cares for you , his studies and you are 2 different subjects altogether , don't tie them in . Good luck , your intelligent enough to make the right decision .
2006-10-25 13:17:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that yes you are probably the cause of his schooling problems. That doesn't mean that the 2 of you shouldn't be together though. It appears he has realised that he can't afford to spend so much time with you because he recognises that in the long term his studies are very important. Encourage him and support him in his studies! I think he will definitely be reassured if you discuss it with him and show your support. All the best!
2006-10-25 13:01:59 · answer #3 · answered by Kyle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he suggest you were the cause? Blaming others for your shortcomings is at least immature.
Is the amount of time you invest daily in a relationship a good barometer of that relationship?
Does one bring just themselves to a relationship and lean on each other until they cant be pried apart?....
Or is it better to separate a little each day, find something new to share when they're back together?... Kind of like building a birds nest out of a bit of everything. If both birds go & search the same spot together, their chances of building the 'perfect' nest diminishes... its just made out of one kind of twig....
2006-10-25 13:07:40 · answer #4 · answered by thrag 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a big boy and he is deciding not to do what he should be doing. You should understand that because he is failing he needs to spend less time with you and more on school. If you understand and support him on this if you do then he will not feel pressured or resentment. If you love him then you will want only for him to succeed in his education.
2006-10-25 13:01:23 · answer #5 · answered by Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not breaking up, but he needs some space to study. I am in law school and my girlfriend gives me the space i need. I set the ground rules for her and if she truly loves me, she will understand and do what she must just so this will work out. Sometimes i need to spend more time studying than with her, because my future is dependant on my school work. Whether i fail or not, she will still be with me. If you love him, let him set the ground rules with when he needs to study and dont push him to see you or make him feel guilty. He needs to focus, but he needs your support so he stays on track. Dont abandon him, just tell him to study and you will spend time with him on the weekend when he needs a break from studying.
2006-10-25 12:58:28 · answer #6 · answered by Knick101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're no longer accepting that he's not any longer introduced on the way you're, or via the failings that motivate you. this would not make him a bad guy or woman, yet this might purely get greater complicated the longer it is going on. enable him flow. save him as a chum, yet settle for that school isn't the course he became meant to stroll. whilst he reveals something that excites him, he would be introduced on. once you come across somebody who swings the way you do, you will artwork mutually, to push one yet another to new heights, no longer drag one yet another by life unwillingly. in case you do unlike that advice, in keeping with possibility you ought to get him a prescription for Adderall and nook him like a rat and make him do his artwork, take care of his college stuff, prepare to grad college, etc. it extremely is been executed previously :)
2016-11-25 20:45:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you suggest that the two of you study together, at the library, for instance. That way you're still together a lot of the time, but you're being productive.
In any case it's not your FAULT that he's failing; he needed to set boundaries and limits and prioritize his time. Lesson learned, I guess. But if you want to keep spending massive amounts of time with him, you're going to need to change what you're doing during your time together (some of it, at least).
2006-10-25 12:56:42 · answer #8 · answered by lilgoat4 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NO, it means he is feeling the preasure to get his grades back up !!! geeeee, girl, dont be so selfish here... give him ur blessings, help him , dont hender him... now is the time for you both to make your life better and make something for the future.... get a calender out, make time for each other, and back off... school cost LOTS of money and he may not have more to just waste on more schooling !!!! God bless
2006-10-25 12:58:01 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is potentially failing college because of his own actions. If he chooses to spend too much time doing things besides appropriate study, he's choosing to fail.
I'm sure you want him to succeed. Ease up on your time with him. Enrich your own knowledge. Whether you stay together or not you'll both be successful.
2006-10-25 12:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by booktender 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋