How do I feel secure about myself without needing a mans approval?

Question

yes so i feel like i always need attention from men to be attractive why is that???? I just wanna be happy without worrying about a man??? BTW i am very attractive and do get alot of attention but still i shouldnt need it!!

Answer 1

You lack self affirmation. You're looking for a second opinion that you don't need.

You're attractive, you know it. You have an insecurity arising from "rejection", "fear of rejection", "abandonment", or a "fear of abandonment.

Deal with the actual situation or the fear of it. You should feel more secure about yourself and the approval/2nd opinion need should disappear.

If your parents divorced and you took it to heart that you were the cause. "My father/mother doesn't love me that's why he/she left?" That happens a lot unfortunately. The children don't realize it is NOT their fault.

Friend's/Parent abandonment...

It could be something, but that is usually the types of issues that trigger it. Like if a girl feels fat all the time it could be because when she was younger her friends were skinnier. OR it could be that she is looking at an unreal expectation.

Answer 2

Don't worry too much what a guy might think of you. This might sound cheesy, but if they say you're ugly or don't give you attention than they're idiots. Don't care too much what they think and try to be happy the way you are, you don't need other people's approvals just to say you're pretty. You said yourself, you're pretty, so don't worry. My friend said the same thing to me, but then she got a boyfriend and it didn't matter to her anymore. Maybe that's what you need... Also, hang out with your friends and have a good time. It will cheer you up and you feel more confident when you get a boyfriend, or even just around guys. Hope I helped. Talk to you later!

Answer 3

first we all like attention and need to feel wanted This is natural. But if you have low self esteem which has many reasons then you look for approval from others to make up for what you do not feel about yourself. Be confident and secure in knowing that we are all learning about ourselves daily.Lifelong journey.Enjoy it!

Answer 4

Sounds like you have self esteem issues. You don't need a man for much of anything that you know you can do yourself. Why should you care what someone else thinks? Always give yourself positive comments, would be a good start.

Answer 5

YOU JUST HAVE TO START TELLING YOURSELF YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE DEFINED BY A MAN. YOU A GREAT ALL BY YOURSELF AND DON'T NEED ANY VINDICATION FROM A MAN. GET A JOURNAL AND WRITE SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT YOURSELF EACH DAY. PUT A NOTE CARD ON THE MIRROR OF HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOU. SOMETHING GOOD AN AFFIRMATION OF A GOAL OR SOMETHING YOU'RE GOOD AT.

Answer 6

no your self confidence needs to be boosted --- why do you feel so insecure about yourself??

love yourself enough to be confident in who you are

it could have started as a reinforcement of your image and has become a need for approval --- we all need approval it can get out of hand --- ive been there and its still a bit of a problem

Answer 7

I really do not have that problem.. I am a very independent type of person, tho married 30 yrs, I have NEVER needed approval from anyone.. I am just me and I like ME !!! try making urself be on your own for 2 months... NO MAN !! NO DATING !!! go out to eat with females only... go out with females only.... have girl nights out.... make urself look at who you are... tell urself that YOU are ok and look at what is good about urself... be honest with urself about what you would like to change, and then go for it.... God bless

Answer 8

Hi,

I can honestly say that many men, until they reach their mid thirtees, play games like crazy, lie, cheat, etc. Some never change. As they mature, some realize people are dying in their families, their relationships haven't worked, they get sick of the bars, the girls they used to pick up think they are too old, their jobs suck.

Some even make amends to those they had hurt, or else, do some kind of service to feel that they are not just takers. Many then start to consider marriage, if for no other reason than they see themselves losing hair, developing gray and wrinkles, getting fired, feeling unsatisfied at work, etc.

The key: Make something of yourself, work hard on a well-paying career with possiblities of advancement. Do not to rely on a man to bring hapiness. The divorce rate is over 50 percent failure in the USA for first time marriages, over seventy percent failure rate for second time marriages.

You MUST develop yourself to the fullest, define what makes you tick and passionate, and you must become extremely successful in your career and have lots of options.

It is only when your career is in full swing and you are really making a greater success of yourself that the RIGHT people show up. Bars bring on alcoholic irresponsible jerks. Clubs too. A great dancer and the right lines do not mean love and successful marriages. Do not mix up great sex with love either. They are two distinct and separate entities. Sex is to reproduce the species only. It is not love. Love is something else. Sex can improve with real love and intimacy. If you are in lust, it is not love. If someone is bad to you, you do not want sex with them unless you are delusional and are using them too, or if you mistakingly think that a great orgasm will make the men stay or change. If you find yourself thinking about a man 100 percent of the time or close to it, he is NOT good for you. You will lose yourself in him. If you are a giver to the men you lust, then learn to be less available and more equality demanding. You have the right to be treated well and decently. That does not mean lavishly. It means honestly with respect. And it goes both ways.

If you are the type who takes crap from a man, stop taking crap early on, and you will avoid lots of pain. Do you go for glitz and the great dressers? Stop. Are you a caretaker type who rescues men? Stop that now. If you are a perfectionist who emotionally picks on a man, stop it now. If you always criticize a man for small things and he leaves you, stop it now. I know no specifics about your situation, but do know it takes two to tango.

Forget the multitude of books. They will mostly confuse you except the short Robert Johnson trio of books: He, She and We.

There is a great book on the subject called Boundaries. It is a thick non-religious book on the subject, a soft cover, /Ph DO written. Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No is another great book. These two, and Your Erronoes Zones addresa low self-esteem.

Do numerous workshops, read lots of self help books, try therapy as a last resort. Absolutely do The Forum, which is a self-discovery weekend offered by The Landmark Education Corporation in NY and elsewhere. Reading self-help books is therapy, because we learn about our own weaknesses and learn self improvement. I have learned it is not what we do but rather, who we do it with. Stay away from destructive people, and that might sometimes mean family. It takes courage to split from destructive people who do not support our being ourslves and growing to be all we can be due to sex discrimination.

It depends on cutting out jerks early so as not to waste time on idiots .

****Only judge people on their actions and deeds, not cheap words. If a man says he loves you and cheats, he does not love you. If a man never says he loves you but treats you well, he loves you. It is all about actions. YOU want a man who can walk equally with you and you with him, one who asks for advice, one who doesn't bottle up anger, and that goes both ways. Also, if you are selfish and materialistic, cut that out. No one wants a gold digger. Make something of yourself to get your own cash.

Also remember: no one is perfect.

Answer 9

If you realize most men say the same things to you they say to other women it might make you not take that cr*p seriously.

What you say to yourself is what's important.

You're giving men who mean nothing to you control over your life and how you feel about yourself.

Take your life back!!!

Answer 10

you are not secure in yourself. what are you going to do when your looks change? love yourself first and everybody else will too. learn to love yourself. looks wear out, loving yourself and your character and personality is a lasting force.