I badly need some advice on my situation. I recently realized that I do still have feelings for my ex. We have a child together. We have not really been a “couple” for some time now, though we still lived together since financially it made sense, and it was better for our child. This summer he moved out though, and though he wasn’t trying to find someone to date, he met someone and they are seeing each other and really like each other. In the time we have spent living apart, I have done a lot of thinking and realized how badly I treated him and a lot of areas where I went wrong. It wasn’t all me, but I can now admit to the problems I had and how stubborn I was. I can see how I need to change. With that realization also came the realization that I still have feelings for my ex. I thought things were over and that I could move on, but obviously that isn’t the case. I’m shocked to discover how I feel, I really didn’t think I would feel this way. It’s also really bad timing, because now he is seeing someone else. I have told him how I feel, and he listened to what I had to say. But, he said he felt that things were over between us a long time ago, which is why he moved on. We both said hurtful things and argued and thought that it was over back then. He really likes this new girl and would like to see where things go with that relationship. I can’t really argue with that, because I pushed him away, things were over, and he had every right to find someone else. I think that if he wasn’t seeing this girl he would maybe be more open to what I was saying, but the fact that he is in another relationship really complicates things. I’m really confused about how I feel and what I should do. Do I wait to see if his new relationship lasts? What can I do to win him back? I don’t know if I have any chance, and I certainly know I don’t deserve one. Has anyone else been in this situation that can offer some advice?
2006-10-25 12:11:33 · 14 answers · asked by Carrie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Doesn't seem like there is much you can do right now to win him back. You said you realized the mistakes you made so just try and be cool with him right now for the sake of your child. Show him you are a different person. Don't try to interfer with his new relationship. Understand that he has moved on right now. If he loves you and finds that he wants to try and make it work again then he will come back. Trust me. I have seen it happen to many times. I dated a guy for awhile and liked him a lot, but he had a kid with this chick and eventually went back to her. It's been 7 years since we broke up and I saw him and his childs mother in the store one day. They worked it out and are still together. Unfortunately I have always been the new chick and the guys went back to their childrens moms. But it has happened to me more then once. So just from the other side of it, don't give up but don't push it. He knows how you feel. Now show him you have changed and maybe whatever made him love you and have child with you before will make him come back. Be patient, I know it's hard though. Try to find someone you can hang out with. maybe nothing serious, unless it goes that way. You may be surprised and find someone else you like and want to see what happens with the new guy. Don't limit yourself but don't feel all is lost. Good luck!
2006-10-25 12:25:47 · answer #1 · answered by Lovemykids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 15:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to accept the fact that he has moved on in his life and you need to do the same. Take the realizations you found about yourself and apply them to a new relationship. There are plenty of other men out there that would love to begin a relationship with someone who is actually in touch with their feelings.
The only suggestion I have is that you need to re-evaluate your situation and forget the past and live for the present especially since you say there is a child, don't pine over what could have been, its not healthy.
2006-10-25 12:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by ne_patriots2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this seems like a classic case of "you don't know what you've got til it's gone". i did that too once. i didn't realize that my ex was the guy for me until he had already moved on to someone else. then it was too late. but ex's are ex's for a reason. if you are meant to be together, you will be. things have a way of just working out. in my case, he ended up marrying that new girl and i married someone else. and i couldn't imagine not having my hubby or my son in my life. both of which i wouldn't have if i was still with the ex.
2006-10-25 12:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can see that you want to win him back now, but he has already said he likes this new girl and wants to see where it goes..as hard as that may seem you need to let him do that..who knows maybe during that time he will realize he misses you too.you can't be pushy or that might bring back some bad memories in the past.. you need to give him some time..and maybe it wouldn't be to bad if you had some time to yourself as well.it sounds like it ended kind of bad and maybe you both should have some time to think about things.if you are meant to be together it will happen.i know you have prob. heard that before but it is true..good luck..i hope it works out for you the way you want..
2006-10-25 12:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by destinymoon_16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must accept that it is over. He has moved on. I think what you are really just feeling is a remorse. Because someone else is appreciating what you had, you now want it back. It's a hard situation. You must really make an evaluation whether you want him because someone else wants him.
2006-10-25 12:16:32 · answer #6 · answered by Wondering myself 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a child together. That is the keyword. You will be able to see him off and on. Most likely his relationship won't last that long but don't go throwing yourself after him. Men only want what they cannot have. Patience is a virtue. You spoke your mind, he won't forget what you said.
2006-10-25 12:17:12 · answer #7 · answered by kam_1261 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a complicated, high maintenance and selfish woman. You put your own needs above the needs of everyone else, including your man. Let him go and learn what love is about before you screw up anybody else's life.
2006-10-25 12:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by tspbrady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should start by humbling yourself. because you have his child. regardless of what goes goes down with this other chick, you'll be the top woman in his life .just be easy and let this fling fly over! now when he comes to visit the child, and you want a piece of YOUR man, you use what ya momma gave ya to keep his desires on YOU!!
2006-10-25 12:24:04 · answer #9 · answered by JUBILI83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get Your Ex Back Today - http://tinyurl.com/kUCTqTRm74
2015-09-28 16:48:55 · answer #10 · answered by Ella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋