why is it that no-one seems to see the true benefits of homeschooling?

Question

I have a 10 year old son with anxiety and signs of depression, he can not cope with crowds and any kind of stress or pressure can set off his condition, i home school him because he can not cope with school and was struggling with the work, now he is much happier and working years ahead of himself and has been tested by a pediatrician and found to be highly superior in intelligence, how ever there are still people who insist that he should be in school. Why would i put him in a place that causes him to have panic attacks, feel extremely bad about himself and causes his grades to drop so low he is struggling with work at his level. What kind of mother would i be if i were to subject him to that,besides i already have approval for exemption from school so why do people still insist that he should go to school, it frustrates me to no end!!
Any comments would be appreciated

i keep getting nagged about this "socialization"....my son socializes with small numbers of children on short regular intervals, he is clearly not like other children as his violent outbursts when he has a panic attack can seriously harm adults let alone other children, do people still believe that i should have him in school even though it puts himself and other children at risk of serious injury and also puts him at risk of ending up in juvenile detention and later, jail, thus defeating the purpose entirely of your so called "socialization", as i dont think there is much chance to be social in a cell.

on the point of how am i going to teach advance subjects in highschool....i too was highly advanced in school and i also have the money and the means to hire tutors for him should he need them. And aslo on the point of sheltering him: i am not sheltering him i am slowly introducing him to socializing but at a pace that i know he can cope with, im not going to throw him in the deep end and sit back and wait to see if he sinks or swims. What would all these know-it-alls be saying about me if my son seriously hurt or even killed someone in a rage and i could have prevented it.

Answer 1

Dont listen to anything any of the do gooder know it alls say, you need to have your sons best interest at heart, you have the approval from the education department to home school so stuff em, what they say has absolutley no bearing on what you want to do. Its admirable that you recognise your sons problem and want to help him instead of being blinded like most parents and hoping the school will sort it out.

Answer 2

I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm homeschooling my 12 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome, and almost every time we talk to someone new about it, the first thing they have to comment on is about Socialization.

As far as I am concerned, school is supposed to be for learning and getting an education.
Which my son wasn't getting, because of too much socialization going on in the school - the teachers can't get the 30 kids per classroom to shut the heck up with all their socializing so they can teach so the kids who are there and want to learn.

I have one Aunt that, everytime we talk, she always insists that I need to put him in school, that *sitting at home* isn't good for him.
I respect my elders too much to tell her, when she raises a kid that doesn't eventually drop out of school and goes on to be the greatest loser in the family, then I'll be glad to let her tell me how to raise my kids.

Besides, we're not just *sitting at home*.
He plays local Little League baseball from February to June, recreation soccer from August to October, and recreation basketball from November to February. He learns teamwork and strategy and has a great time doing it.
He has several little friends from his teams that comes over or he goes to their house to just play.

So, he's getting both his education and socialization - playing during playtime, not schooltime.
How could that be wrong or bad?

It's not, so I don't worry about all the unsolicited advice from all the so-called know-it-alls who don't really know anything about it at all, and you shouldn't either.
You're doing what's best for your child, and that's going to make him grow to be a happier, healthier adult in the long-run.

Answer 3

I'm sure you're doing what you think is right, and what is best for your son.
But I'll make 2 points that I hope you'll think about...

You say your son can't cope with crowds or any kind of stress -- keeping him at home all the time means he will never learn to cope with them. At some point you won't be there to manage the world for him, and he's going to have to learn to cope -- why not start now, even slowly, rather than shelter him?

Second, while it sounds great that he's so intelligent, how are YOU going to teach him advanced subjects -- calculus, advanced sciences, etc.? Do you have degrees in those subjects? Is it possible you're going to be holding back his advanced intellectual development when you can't properly teach him these advanced subjects that his intellect can surely handle?

Answer 4

I think for now it is right for your son to be homeschooled. My nieces and nephew were home schooled and they got a better education because of it. The individual attention is crucial especially if your son has anxiety and depression. Beginning to slowly introduce him to various social situations is going to become more of a necessity when he gets closer to his teen years. There is a lot of pressure these days when it comes to kids and schooling just keep on doing what you are doing continue to encourage and dont let others opinions of what you should do get in the way.

Answer 5

WOW!!!

I am in the very exact situation as you. I think what other people fail to realize about the situation is that the most important thing of all is your child's education. I have been told the same thing about my son's social skills. In other social situations such as church, and other outings he does fine. He already has a work ethic that puts most adults to shame. And as far as teaching my child advance subjects, nowadays a lot of teachers aren't qualified to even do those.

As parents it is our job to make sure that our children get what they need to be successful adults, and I applaud you for doing what it is that you know is right. Seeing as how I am in the very situation you are in.

God Bless You and Your Child!!!

Answer 6

Social interactions are important part of growth. If he's sheltered in the home, he will have a hard time in the workforce and adult life when he has to interact with people that aren't his family.

That's just one consideration. Educationally homeschooling can be successful, but there needs to be a social aspect too for normal childhood development. Some areas have homeschool clubs so the homeschooled kids have other kids to relate to.

Also, its a valid concern that unless you are following a well-rounded and balanced plan, that some areas of the education may be lacking. There's also PE, sex ed, etc. which might be better done in a school.

Answer 7

people always focus on the importance of the social interaction that a child gets in school. but it sounds like in your case, the social aspect would do more harm than good. i am sure that most people who do home schooling face similar opposition, and as a teacher, i know that i too have a knee-jerk negative reaction to it... so i suggest that you network with other home-schoolers on the internet and get the psychological support you need, and find some sympathetic educators in your local school district who will give you the technical help that you need without throwing in a lot of unwanted value judgement. good luck!

Answer 8

I had the same problems in school and it was really hard. In hindsight I never would have learned to deal with them as an adult if I wasn't forced to. Also it is very unlikely that a parent has enough expertise to teach every subject into high school or even middle school. How many parents are calculus buffs for example or remember all their history. Also I wonder how you can gauge a students abilities if they are not measured against other students in a class daily.

Answer 9

I think it is wonderful that you are doing this for him. I started homeschooling last year, several months after I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It has helped so much. Have you read The Teenage Liberation Handbook, by Grace Llewelyn? It prepared me to be better able to answer sceptics' questions.

Answer 10

If everyone understood how bad public education is and how much better homeschooling is, there would be no public schools left. Teachers want us to believe they are the most intelligent beings on earth...which is a joke. Most of them attempted other majors and washed out and wound up in education from which almost anyone can obtain a degree. The NEA wants to maintain control over the minds of our youth to steer them in the direction of "world citizenship" and get rid of any idea of patriotism.