my partner and i have recently split up and although i dont wish to deny him access to our child i dont trust him to care for him properly and i do not want him to take him anywhere near his parents whit whom i have a long running argument and am currently involved with solicitors. he recently betrayed my trust and went behind my back when i let him look after our child for a morning and took him to see his parents. I have now decided to end our relationship but have always made it clear that i do not want to stop him from having access even though it took him 5 days to contact me and even then was not concerned about the c hilds welfare. he now says he has consulted a solicitor himself and has been informed that he can have as much access as he wishes and do what he wants with our child
2006-10-25 10:51:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Go to a solicitor and ask for Family Mediation. That way, when you sort out access times there's someone there who is impartial and their mere presence will prevent you reaching over the table and ripping his throat out.
My family mediator was great, she basically told my girl's father that he was being an unreasonable twunt. That'll teach him to be cocky with me. HAHAHA
2006-10-25 10:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over yourself love! So what if you have an arguement with your ex partner's parents? They are your child's grandparents and not only do they have a right to see the child, but the child has a right to see them. Stop using your child as a pawn in your power games. The way you teach your child about families is going to impact on the way your child eventually brings up their own family. I only hope that your child's partner doesn't take a dislike to you when your grandchildren come along, cos you could end up a very lonely old lady!
2006-10-25 11:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by THE BULB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think u need to go and see a solicitor on this one, this way u are not denying him his rights to see the child, and it'll be on both of ur terms... You need to come to terms with the idea that while the child is in his care, he can do whatever he wants, apart from leave the country. it is difficult, but it will get easier.
Good luck and hope all goes well xx
2006-10-29 07:32:39 · answer #3 · answered by storm.minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's bullshitting you , although it is wrong the mother is always deemed the most stable parent for your child and if you have genuine concerns about the child's welfare then you should deny access completely .
I fear your child is being used as a weapon against your ex and his parents , think very carefully because if that is what you are doing there can be no winners and only one loser , your child .
2006-10-25 10:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you will find that the courts are the only place to decide who has custody and visitation rights not his solicitors. If you cant work it out between you then court is the only answer.
2006-10-25 11:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by Bubu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you are the primary carer and no court has made a visitation order, then he cannot just have his son whenever he wants - at the moment it's up to you.
If the situation with his parents is serious and you genuinely can't trust him to look after your son, then insist that he can only visit, not take him out. If he doesn't like it, then he can take you to court.
2006-10-25 10:56:45 · answer #6 · answered by Hello Dave 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please make a visit to your solicitor,he is using your baby to upset and annoy you,i had an experience similar to yours and after my visit to the solicitor 7 years ago,the dad got access to our son when it was convenient to me,now we are pals so he gets him Friday night through to Sunday.good luck,it'll be tough but fight on for your rights as a mother.take care.
2006-10-25 11:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by kasey c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he cant be trusted to look after your child properly you can get supervised visits.i use to have to see my mum at the social services with a social worker in the room.but you can get someone you want and trust to sit with your child and partner.
2006-10-25 10:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by clarelouiseprince 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably has one of those deadbeat dad lawyers... they are always telling dads that they can have whatever they want. probably it will be more like an agreement you two will work on to determine all that. but I don't know UK law, it sounds like that's where you are.
2006-10-25 10:55:38 · answer #9 · answered by romulusnr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have legal custody, you can set the terms.
2006-10-25 11:40:32 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋