Leaving mom and dad.?

Question

Hi,

I'm 19 and live with my parents, I have a wife and a 2 year old son, that are living with me right now. (at my parent's house). My mom recently had a stroke, but she is doing better as of now. We are scheduled to move into our new apartment on november 4th.(me, my wife, and son) I feel real bad and pretty sad leaving my mom, i'm pretty much a mama's boy even at my age, and it hurts to leave her.

Recently me and my dad got into an arguement, and that pushed us to move out and finally have a family of our own. We left for a couple of days without communication, and on tuesday we went back because we needed a place to stay until we can move into our apartment, well my mom got real emotional and that just made me feel worse. I explained to her why we need to move out and we're only moving 25 miles away. We'll still see each other a lot, and she shouldn't worry about us. She understood with some tears. I'm just looking for some advice on how to keep her happy.

due to the stroke, she can get depressed easily.

Answer 1

Its very hard to cut those apron strings, especially for a mother. Being that you are as you stated a mommas boy can make it even worse. This is a day tat she knew would come and she dreads, yet she knows she cant keep you forever. Its good that you sat down and talked things through, and this WILL help her during the transitional stage. After you get settled in, invite your parents over for a nice meal, to show them your house is always open for them. Another thing you could do, is to send her a Thinking Of You card often, just to reassure her. She is going to be sad at first once you leave, and theres no getting around that. One more thing you can do is to have a family portrait taken and give it to her. It will remind her how much you do love her and its a way for her to see your face everyday. Lastly, call her often. Tiny gestures like these mean the world to a mother.

Answer 2

1) Congrats on staying close to Mom. It is a great thing. My son is almost 21, and though he lives 1000 miles away..we talk a lot
2)Call Mom, every day at least for the 1st 3 months. Let her know, that you are abandoning her
3)After that call like every other day, it does have to be for long.
4)Make sure she gets to see your son, a lot. If she gets depressed easily, there is nothing like the hugs and kisses of a grandchild to make you feel better.
5)You don't say what the effects of the stroke were on her, but if she has a hard time getting around, try to come by and get her out of the house a few times a month. Make sure she can get out and do shopping, her hair, xmas gifts, etc....
6)If she doesn't have a computer, try to get Dad to get her one, send pictures of your son in her e-mail, so when you can't come around, she will have something to look forward to, also send jokes and show her how to use it.

Good Luck and be proud of yourself for caring so much.

Answer 3

aw for real. She will heal. She knows you aren't trying to hurt her. Understand like you said she is emotional right now. Just let her know everything is okay and keep in touch with her everyday. And I don't know how you and your dad are but always respect him no matter what he Say's.. You seem like a good kid. The best you can do for your ma is be the best son and be a good person. So she can be proud of you. Let her see the grand kids. Take her out every once in a while if possible. Hope this helps

Answer 4

Well - with you leaving the house and her having a stroke she probably sees her link to the outside world vanishing. Remember that if she has any problems with speech after the stroke it may be easier for her to show her emotions than verbalize them. See if there is anything that you can do to keep her involved in the community and keep telling her that you all love her. Hopefully she'll learn to adjust -best to you all

Answer 5

Explain to your mom as gently as you can that you need to be the man in charge of your new family, just the way that your dad is the man in charge of his family. And to do this you need to be on your own with just your new family... It doesn't mean that you love her any less, you're just taking care of your responsibilities the way that you know she'll be proud of you for doing.

Reassure her that you'll come back and bring her grandson with you to visit her and that you don't love her any less. She'll be sad, but she'll be proud of you! As time goes on, she'll get more used to the idea and will hurt less.

Answer 6

I know it is very difficult to leave your home under the circumstances. But don't you think your wife and child deserve a home of there own? A home where they can build there own memories. I know you love your mother very much but you have to let go,grow up and start being that adult you need to be for yourself and for your family.

Answer 7

You really need a home of your own, your dad can care for your mom, just come see her or call her and let her know you love her. it will help your relatioship with your wife and your dad.

Answer 8

your bigger problem is going to be surviving and supporting your family in the apartment. call your mom every day and let her know how you are doing. she will be ok. but leaving is still the best thing for you and your little family.

Answer 9

being on your own is a good thing, but who says u couldnt vist them every once in a while. or have your mom come over for a nice dinner or something

Answer 10

It's pretty hard but you will get over it and make sure you call them every day and you'll get over it! That good you don't live far away from them.