How Do I Go About Telling My Mom That I am Moving Out The Day I Turn 18??? I need help!!!?

Question

My mom isn't exactly one of those people you can easily talk to about things she doesn't like, or agree with...

FYI: I am 17 and I turn 18 on January 13th...which is about 11 1/2 weeks away...

Answer 1

Just tell her. It's not as if she can keep you at home against your will.

Answer 2

First (BEFORE YOU EVEN BRING THIS UP) make sure you're prepared to make the move. You should ask yourself these 10 most important questions (that you can also use as a checklist):

1. Can I afford to pay rent?
2. If so, how much can I afford to pay?
3. Can I afford to pay for utilities and a phone?
4. Can I afford to pay for cable (if you'd like it)?
5. Will I need a roommate?
6. How far away do I plan to move?
7. Do I have reliable transportation (even if it's public transportation, you still need to know how you're going to get around)?
8. Can I afford groceries or food to eat?
9. Do I have furniture to put in my place?
10. How good is my credit score (which will determine whether you need a co-signer when you rent your apartment)?

If you can answer all those questions favorably, plan a time to sit down and talk with your mother - BUT DON'T TELL HER (cause you don't want her to think of reasons why you shouldn't move). When you're ready ... tell her what you're prepared to do with your life --- even if you're not sure, you can always change your mind later --- and that you'd like to get started on accomplishing your goal by moving out on your own. Your arguement should focus around the move preparing you for independence and giving you a sense of responsibility. If that doesn't work - try mentioning friends or relatives you both know that have moved out and been successful.

You can also start by picking up apartment guides and magazines and leaving them around the house or even asking her what she thinks about certain places. Often times most parents are simply afraid that they are losing their children so keeping her involved should spark some excitement.

REMEMBER: The goal here is to show her that you're ready to make the move by doing it responsibly.

Answer 3

Just tell her that you want to get out on your own and be independent. You want to show you can be self-sufficient and responsible. Just ask for her blessing, and if she doesn't like it, then she will have to deal with it. Wait until about a month before you are planning on moving, and make sure you are 100% sure you will be able to survive on your own financially. If you tell her too early, it could be a constant source of tension. But, don't burn any bridges, sometimes things happen in life that we can't control, and you may have to go back home and rely on your mom for help. Just approach the situation calmly and explain your reasons for wanting to move out. Emphasize the positive points, ie, mom won't have to buy you food or clothes and you can learn to be more independent and grown up, don't say you are leaving because you hate her or that she is too controlling or anything like that, because it can cause a fight and will backfire if you need her help later.

Answer 4

you want to know how to tell your mother you are moving out when you turn 18 yrs. old. You also stated that she is a person that is not easily swayed to what you, or anyone's way of thinking? First of all how old are you? and second do you have a steady job, when you move out you can pay the rent,bills,the laundromat, including soap for washing clothes for bathing, groceries, all the tioletries for your personal use even transportation, or do you already have a boyfriend that tells you that he can take care of you? I am a mother of seven kids in total, five of them are girls, they are already married and have their own life to live, not once did I hear one of them say that she wanted to move out the house and be independent. We were a happy family that cared for each other. So, if I was you I would have a talk with your mother and explain why you want to move out when you turn 18. Maybe she would stand to reason

Answer 5

I am sure that she will notice small changes as you prepare for your eventual departure. If you feel that you can't talk to her, then maybe talking to an aunt or sister might help you out. You shouldn't be running away from her, you should be moving out to get on with your own life as a grown up mature enough to make their own decision... It is unfortunate that you can't communicate with her.... It will not improve your relationship if you walk out the door without preparing her...
I would write her a letter about your feelings, what your plans are and that you respect her feelings with this decision , but that you have already made it.
Some people are not really approachable if you ram into them, but small, soft steps might work better.

Answer 6

Wow, that is a toughie. I mean this might sound lame, but maybe you should tell her in the kindest way possible. Next time you sit down for dinner, I would say something like, mom when did you move out of grandma's house?! And then when she answers just go and tell her about your plans and promise to visit her. Things might just go over smoothly if you play the cards right!

Answer 7

Act like an adult when you talk to her. That will make things easier for both of you. Give her a month's notice. Reassure her that you know how you you are going to support yourself and where you are going to live. Tell her that you understand that once you move out, she is no longer responsible for you, and you won't ask her for money or any of the other things she may give you now. Tell her you love her and want to see her regularly.

Answer 8

Well I have sooo been there. If I were you I would tell your mom that things need to change or you will move out. Let her know that you are now an adult and want to be treated like one. Also... try to stay at home as long as possible. It is a doggy dog world out there and no need to move if you don't have to.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Pick out an apartment and show it to her. Be like
"Hey mom, look at this apt. Looks nice right? I'm going to move there when I hit the big 1-8.".


Then if she talks about how she feels be like "OMG I totally didn't think about that. But I think I should take more responsibility and get my own space. It would be good for me."

Answer 10

Well since she can't legally keep you after 18, she may have to accept it. Try sitting down with her, be open. tell her you need to talk to her about something and that it might be difficult. Then tell her you are anxious to try being on your own.

But - its also a new ball game to be 18 and still at home. You would still be an adult - but have the security of home.

Answer 11

Wait until the last moment, like I did. I chose this method because I didn't want to hear about it for months and have them make my life more miserable than they usually did. I just kept quiet and slowly packed my things up without raising any red flags. When I finally told my dad, he laughed and said I'd never leave...but I did. Then on my way out of the house, he laughed and said I'd be back...I never moved back in, not even one overnight stay.

Just make sure you are ready. Life is hard. Paychecks don't come easy and the money goes out much faster than it comes in sometimes.

Best of luck to you....oh, and please remember to always pay AT LEAST the minimum balance on your credit cards...and don't wait until the last minute to pay the bills, because late charges make everything cost more than you can afford.