How do you tell a 16 year old that you are pregnant? My SIL doesn't know how to tell her son. She is about 5 months along and says that she doesn't want him to rebel or to get mad. She has gone through a rough divorce with the father of her 16 year old and because it was some what violent, she doesn't want him to find out either. She is seeing someone who has been very patient and loves her etc. which should be a good thing. When she has the baby, she plans on having her boyfriend move in a year after her baby is born.....I am concerned because I love her and her son, but it seems that she is confused herself and thinks that telling him in late January is best, but I've told her that it doesn't give him time to prepare for a new life in the home.....any advice?
2006-10-25 10:19:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She needs to tell him now and let him enjoy her pregnancy with her. It's going to be his sibling and he has a right to participate.
Also, kids are stronger than adults sometimes. I'm sure he's a pretty tough kid to have survived a divorce, especially if there was domestic violence.
It would probably be best if she told him by herself. Later, he may have questions about what the future holds for him and for the baby. Also, about the relationship with the new boyfriend.
2006-10-25 10:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by stocks4allseasons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. I was in similar shoes when 6 months after our daughter moved in with us I discovered I was pregnant. We met her when she was nine years old and the adoption hadn't been finalized yet. She was so happy to have parents she could call her own - all her own. It took me a month to finally tell her and it was rough for a while but she finally accepted it especially since it was explained that nothing could be done about it whether she was happy about it or not. Now she is very attached to her little brother and there is jealousy as in any sibling group. But she is 'Little Mommy" all the way and they are both very happy kids.
Your SIL will have to tell her son sooner or later, she can't hide it forever and the longer she does the more he will resent her for not trusting him. Just tell him and explain to him why his dad shouldn't know yet (though he too will find out at some point - how do you hide an extra kid?). Also, he will be this child's big brother in many ways. If things don't work out with the boyfriend she can feel good to know that there is still a positive male influence in the child's life.
2006-10-25 10:29:14 · answer #2 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, how long since the divorce? This may be a rough thing to handle, but hopefully the 16 yr old will be mature enough to accept the fact that his mom is having a baby. Obviously it didn't work out with his parents, so he shouldn't expect his mom to stop living.
I wish the best of luck to them all. The kid will find out eventually, better to help adjust BEFORE baby arrives.
2006-10-25 10:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by Laura R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him sooner so that he does have time to prepare. That is a big change, especially so quick, if she isn't honest with him, she could really damage their relationship, and he might feel that he wasn't important enough to be told, and she didn't care if he was a part of it. He could become really bitter down the road. As sad as it sounds she might want to be treat him really nice, and do sweet things to show him that she cares, and she'll still be there for him. Treat him extra special, do some things with him that he likes to do before she drops that on him.
2006-10-25 10:28:23 · answer #4 · answered by Mandy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, a backward family. Has a 16 year old, is screwing around and gets preggo by boyfriend. Boyfriend will move in after baby is born, (or not).
The kid might not get mad, but he might, and she should be prepared for whatever comes.
2006-10-25 10:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by alwaysbombed 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think he is old enough to understand that his mother is pregnant and he would be more upset if she tells him later.she should sit with him and talk about,because if she thinks that he will get mad won't change the fact that he will be a big brother soon,like or not.
2006-10-25 10:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by realistic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoa. i think she's already waited too long. She has to tell him soon, or he's goning to be mad, more about the fact that she hid it from him.
She should sit down and have a talk with him. But it should be done soon!
2006-10-25 10:24:07 · answer #7 · answered by snowy_summer_01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The longer she waits the harder it can get, she needs to talk to him ASAP and he might just be happy about it! All three of you or she and her son can talk about the situation but it needs to be now, and not later
2006-10-27 18:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister in law is going to lost her son trust if she wait any longer
this is a young adult she needs to start treating him as one
2006-10-25 10:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead tell your friend to tell him and be with her every step of the way
2006-10-25 10:23:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋