tips for dealing with separation anxiety?

Question

i've been suffering from separation anxiety lately and i was wondering if anyone could help me with exercises or tips or whatever to help me "turn off my brain" when i feel a panic attack coming on. thanks.

Answer 1

I'm not sure what type of separation anxiety you're having. Usually, when it is a partner (or maybe even children?), time will eventually make it more tolerable and less intense. So the question is, how do you skip ahead 3 months to when your are magically more adjusted than you are now?

My personal tactic: Kill time. I am single after being partnered up (intimately, emotionally, spiritually) for years. I feel alone... unimportant... scared... lost... empty... vulnerable. Being alone makes my mind fill with all the sadness, disappointment, anger and frustration that the break-up has inevitably given to me. In time, I will sort through this experience, even learn from it. WHAT NOW?! I kill time.

My best way of doing this is pretty pathetic, but since I know you're looking for practical advice, I'll admit to it. I watch movies. A lot of movies. I go to the movies (sometimes alone, because who will find out anyway, and you get way more involved (translation: brain turned off) when you're in a big dark theatre with surround sound). I rent movies (Blockbuster online if you get sick of that same guy at the register looking at you like he KNOWS you're watching all these movies alone... every weekend). I get home from work, make dinner, eat with a movie. If I had something I need to do -- housework, homework, research, etc -- I do that for a few hours (usually my mind is off when I'm busy with stuff anyway). When I'm done, one more movie. I fall asleep to movies (get into PJs and wash your face first so you can wake up groggily at the end and just slip into bed without turning your brain on again).

This is obviously sorta cheating, because you're kinda floating through life for awhile. The intention is not to do this forever -- or even for long. All you've got to do is get through the first few weeks, maybe the first few months, of a separation that has left you standing with no ground beneath you. Getting lost in other lives and worlds in a movie makes 2 hours go by so fast, and all of a sudden another day is checked off your recovery calender.

"Momma whispered softly, 'Time will ease your pain. Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same."

Watch tons of movies while Time takes care of the rest.

xoxo,
--Jess

Answer 2

Okay. Feeling as though you are about to have a panic attack is very frightening and that fear further helps the panic attack to come on! It's a vicious circle.

So, at the moment you begin to feel panicky, lie down if possible or sit and take two or three deep breaths nice and slow, this will begin to relax you.

Then really concentrate on each body part, starting from your toes and slowly working up towards your head. You are focusing to make sure each body part is very relaxed.

To know what very relaxed means, try tightening your hand into a fist...squeeze as hard as you can....hold it like this for 10 seconds. While your fist is clenched really notice how a very tense your hand can feel. Then let it go completely limp and relaxed....notice the difference between tension and relaxation?

So when you are checking each of your body parts you need to get them to feel as relaxed and as limp as possible.

In doing this at the moment you start to panic you will find that your panic attack will subside before it has become full blown. The reason for this is that it is impossible to have a panic attack when your body is very relaxed and your mind is focused on this rather than the anxiety.

It really works!

Remember a panic attack cannot harm you physically. You won't have a heart attack although you may be thinking that way.

Actually practising these relaxation techniques on a daily basis is very calming for the mind, and allows you to be able to relax much more quickly when you need to. Daily practise should also lessen the frequency of panic attacks.

Good luck,

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I have read some litterature about panic attacks. But they allways seem to have a more scientific approach and that is nothing I need in my struggle to survive those horrible panic attacks. This is a "hand on" and very practical book. I felt it was written to me. I am sure that you are going to feel the same.

Joe Barry writes exactly how I think. The examples are perfectly described. And the method is genius. I recommend this book and thanks Joe Barry for writing it. It changes your life

Answer 4

I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and have the same problems as yours. I have to take Lexapro, but that was prescribed for me by a psychiatrist. Take vitamin Bs and Folic Acid. Both will help.

Answer 5

She is probably freaked out by the new surroundings and will need some time to acclimate. For now give her some clothes of yours to comfort her and maybe a busying treat to occupy her time. Buy some plexi-glass or a protector for you door so there is no more damage done and give it some time.

Answer 6

ask a doctor for some medicine for it