Yeah i have two children, got dumped last year he said it wasnt me (like i believe that) How do men really feel about dating women who already have kids. I am not looking for a daddy for them or someone to support me/them.
2006-10-25 09:53:48 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey Scarlett,
I kind of see it another way. You pretty much have a built-in filter here. There are some guys who, yes, will be turned off because you have kids. But, if someone really likes you and cares about you, or is even just excited and interested in getting to know you, then your having kids won't matter a bit. And guess what, these are the kinds of guys you want to be getting involved in, don't you think?
What about the other guys? The guys that are turned off? They probably are afraid of responsibility, expectations, or complications. And if little issues like these get in the way and turn them off, how interested in you and genuine could they be? These types of guys would've ended up hurting you, mistreating you, or plain out boring you anyway. Good riddens.
Your kids are like a filter. You wouldn't want to be involved with the guys that are turned off anyway, and the guys who remain interested in you probably are worth dating.
2006-10-25 09:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by mjfly 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's bad having kids, as long as you love you kids, should the thoughts of a manworry you? If he dumped you because of your kids, then he wasn't right for you. The kids are not what put men off, if he was put off by the kids, then I am guessing he had some deeper issues, maybe he wasn't ready to be a dad?
As long as the kids don't get in the way of you spending time with "your man", then all is well. The guy should just accept that you have kids and live with it. After all, you are not only one person, it's you and your kids. He will need to get on with your kids, it's a shame when things don't work out between children and their step parents. You'll find someone....
2006-10-25 10:15:32 · answer #2 · answered by niceguypatel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-27 00:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a single parent for about 6 years. In that time, I didn't date or have a relationship with anyone.
It wasn't for lack of offers, from men in their twenties, through to their sixties. I just didn't want to have a revolving bedroom door, if you know what I mean. nor have a series of men walking in and out of our lives, which would have been confusing. Plus, like you, I don't need supporting.
Some of the men had children from previous relationships, mostly they were childless. None of them were apparently bothered, particularly the single dads. Mostly they appeared sincere in their interest and pursuit of me, but it was me who didn't want to take it any further than 'just friends'.
Eventually, I met someone whom I could really communicate with.
So, yes, there are men out there who will not be put off by your situation. The ones who are, are not right for you in the first place.
Your independence that you've mentioned is a good thing. It is sad to see women who are desperate for support for themselves and for a father for their children. Your attitude will give you a better footing to make good assessments about the men that you meet because you aren't needy.
I wish you lots of good luck. You go have a good life and forget what your ex said to you at the end.
2006-10-25 20:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are like that but not all. I have a toddler and that's one of the first things I mention when I meet someone. If they have a problem with my child then they have the oppourtunity to speak about it before anything is started. Most guys who don't like women with kids are selfish and it's probably a good thing that you get rid of those types anyway. I don't know why people feel like single parents can't date and still have a good time every now and then.
2006-10-25 09:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by ikkinaw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men that are not family orientated or inmature may not be up to the challenge.
But guess what..... only mature, commitment minded men are the ones worth your time anyway, so if t he guy is going to be "spooked away" he wasn't worth messing up with.
I have an 8 year old from my ex-husband. I'm dating this wonderful, charming, atractive, sucessful gentleman and he loves my son. I wouldnl have it any other way, Your kids are part of you and now you know to keep the bozos away. A good man will come your way, be patient.
Good luck
Good luck
2006-10-25 09:59:34 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are fine with it. Others don't care because they don't ever really intend on meeting them. If you are just dating, the children shouldn't meet them anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem. If you get serious then it could be. Be honest with them and if it is a big deal to them, then they are can be classified as a booty call for you and nothing more. That is fine too. Women can have men for that too.
2006-10-25 09:57:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anna F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the answer to your question is that it depends on the guy....i met this guy and he came over to the house and one of the kids saw him, and the next day he asked if the kids said anything about him coming over.(why is he worried about that) when I talk to him on the phone, he never says anything or ask any questions about my children. then the other day I met someone , and the first thing he asked was do the kids like to play baseball??, and maybe someday they could go out in the front yard and hit some balls. it just depends on the guy
2006-10-25 10:02:35 · answer #8 · answered by JANET 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it will, but it does not make you updatable.
I used to date women with children because I didn’t want to have any. That way, if I split with the mom, there is no issue with child support, etc. But not a single one of them was anything close to a decent mother.
I found it very difficult to date, because I had a vasectomy. That is until I met my current girlfriend.
2006-10-26 11:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by Marvin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it does scare men a bit. I was a single mom with three kids for about two years, and then, I met my husband. We have been married for two years now, and very happy. He loves my kids and is raising them as his own. It takes a special kind of man who can accept someone else's kids, but believe me, he is out there!!!!
2006-10-25 09:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by heaven o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋