My daughter will be 8 next month, she is highly intelligent and most of her friends are older because of her after school activities (she is tutor and she is in a Science, Computer and Math Club). We try to keep her well rounded and treat her age most of the time but her maturity level is so high I find myself treating her as if she is older. She is very "conflicted" right now about how to act. She is to mature for most of the kids in class and not old enough to go to the mall and "hang out" with her older friends, for this reason I have become the worst mom ever. She whines constantly about everything and does that eye rolling routine every time I speak to her. I know that it is just a phase but I feel partly responsible for her angst because of her academic situation. I have signed her up for girl scouts because I thought more time and activities with girls her age would be good for her, but she doesn't fit in and usually sits off to the side by herself. What do I do?
2006-10-25 09:20:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Consider this an empathetic validation.
Continue doing what you're doing. Children are, by their very nature impatient creatures, wanting cuts in lines, travels to be shorter ("are we there yet?"), want want want it now. They'll pull the "well, ABC's mom/dad let's her do whatever she wants."
Don't let yourself be duped. Children are also masters at pushing the envelope, and you must be as strong to contain the envelope.
Getting your daughter involved in extra-curricular activities with other girls her age will help contain some of her more mature ambitions as well as help her in maintaining a more age-appropriate attitude. Doesn't mean that her wants or demands will diminish much, but you will be able to better monitor her activities while customizing an instructional approach to match her maturity. At some point, you may want to create a "carrot" that will assuage her incessant demands for now, if she knows she will have some kind of privilege down the line, such as allowing her to go to a movie with some of her like-aged friends (while you either post yourself vigilantly outside the theatre, or, based on your trust level, be in another theatre in which the movies will end roughly at the same time). Just an idea. By creating trust situations that increase incrementally, you may find you can trust your daughter's judgment based on the choices she has made. Good luck~
2006-10-25 09:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by Finnegan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one, because I feel your need to protect her, 8 is a little young these days for a girl to be unsupervised at the mall. But I see your point on her being mature for her age. The tie breaker would HAVE to be the friends, do you trust them? Friends are a big influence. Maybe you could let her hang out at the mall with her friends WHILE you were there doing your own shopping. That way you can check on her, and let her have fun with her friends at the same time. Don't feel bad for wanting to keep her safe. That's what makes you a good mom. Eventually she is going to have to get use to not getting to do EVERYTHING she wants. It's part of growing up.
2006-10-25 09:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jst try and get through these times....I hate to tell ya but it will get worse! My girls were the same way. My first one got the "attitude at about age 9-10 and she has been lucky to make it to 12. My second one saw the way her sister behaved and started with the "attitude at age 8. Being a girl doesn't help any! With all the media and entertainment that kids watch and see today...even on the disney channel or Nickelodeon.....the kids in those programs aren't exactly Wally and Beaver Cleaver! They have bad attitudes!! Girl Scouts are great....but my daughter has been in Girl Scouts since she was 5 and it is still the same!
Just be the best parent that you can be...someday, she will have children and she will understand! :) Good Luck!
2006-10-25 09:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should remind her that whining and eye rolling are not mature behaviors and if she wishes to continue being treated more maturely than her age, the behavior will cease and desist. Tell her that you can't understand her, "I can't understand what you're saying right now. Please talk to me like a person." or to that gist.
As an afterthought, regarding going to the mall - As long as there is a parent present and attending to them, I don't see much of a problem with a little shopping. However, you're mom. What you say, goes. Don't let anyone undermine that. It’s unfortunate that the phrase, “I’m the mother, that’s why.” has fallen out of favor. It’s really all the explanation you’re required to give your child on quite a number of topics, including "Whhhyyyy caaannntttttt Iiiiiii go to the maaaaallllllllll with saaalllllyyyyyyy?!?!?!"
2006-10-25 09:26:01 · answer #4 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Spooky !!! Mine too was once an historic type Ford Anglia - purchased approximately 1964/five - while I was once elderly 21/22. A more youthful brother owned it and handed it directly to me for £five while furnished with a (salesman's) organization automobile. It was once extra a boon than pleasure & pleasure - I'm now not a automobile style of individual, and practically realize that's the back and front finish of a car. I should not have a clue what yr it was once made - however rather 'historic'. It was once however a 'well riskless runner' for a even as. I vaguely bear in mind petrol was once approximately four/3d a gallon (?) and the automobile enabled us (spouse plus kiddies) to discuss with locations buses and trains might have worried an excessive amount of obstacle. Happy days. I gave up using two years in the past. The pride had long past out of it - with the entire avenue congestion, deficient using specifications. And, of direction, the rate.
2016-09-01 02:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are wise to offer her activities where she'll be with kids her own age, even when they are above their peers in intelligents, they are not always emotionally mature enough to be with older kids all the time. I was in a similar situation with my son. Sounds like she isn't enjoying girl scouts, ask her what she would like to join, with limits that you are comfortable with, sometimes it's trial and error until you find something that she'll love. Better to be "the worst mom ever" than having her get into trouble with older kids. besides she'll grow out of it by the time she's 21
2006-10-25 09:33:13 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im mature for my age too. When i was little i didnt like most of the kids my age i still dont. I have older friends too. My parents trusted some of my older friends so when i wanted to go some where with any of my older friends my parents just made sure i went with someone they trusted and felt comfortable with me being with. Just think of her older friends as "babysitters" in a way.
2006-10-25 09:29:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i was so mature when i was 8 that my mom used to drop me and my older friends of at the mall or where ever i wanted to go. she knew i was responsable and as long as i was in a group she wasnt worried.
2006-10-25 09:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by jnnybartos 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋