I had bought a nice silvery colored Cross Pen for my boyfriend's birthday. I wanted to get his name engraved onto it, too. Since I happened to go to his house before I could get the engravery done, I was very excited to show him his gift. When I showed him and explained to him that I will also put his name on the pen, he wasn't excited at all about the gift. He said, that the pen was too big, would make his shirt hang down... He held it in his hands and said, no I don't like it. I don't want it. I was very surprised because I thought he would like it. I put the pen and box back in my bag and never mentioned anything about, until today. I was expecting him to understand my feelings that I was hurt that he didn't accept my gift. But instead he keeps telling me: It didn't look that you picked this gift for me, it wasn't wrapped and I don't appreciate this types of gifts. None of these answers seem "logical" to me. What do you think is the real reason he refused my gift?
2006-10-25 09:13:14 · 13 answers · asked by samba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hard to know - how old is he? how long have you been dating?
if you haven't been dating long, he may be uncomfortable accepting the gift
if you've been dating a long time, he may have been expecting something more personal
neither excuses his reaction - which was not gracious
now, if he's young (a teen) he may not have learned how to be gracious so now's a good opportunity to help him with that - and that would be an even better gift than the pen
sit down with him and say nicely 'I'm sorry you didn't care for the birthday gift I picked for you. I did put some thought into the gift and was excited to give it to you. I'll be glad to return the pen since it doesn't suit you, but I'm puzzled at your very strong reaction over the gift. Can you tell me what you were hoping for for your birthday - maybe that will help me understand why you were so upset over my gift to you." Maybe he can better articulate his feelings, but if not - if he's rude even, then you might go on to say "I seem to have inadvertently hurt your feelings with my gift and I'm sorry - but you must know that you have hurt my feelings as well by your reaction." At this point, he should apologize for hurting your feelings and you two should move on. Return the pen - you can choose to either buy him another gift - or not. He declined your gift so there's nothing requiring you to buy another.
Now, if he's a full-fledged adult - such a reaction is nigh on inexcusable. He should already know better than to act that way (my oh my, if I had a nickle for every gift I've received and didn't like and had to be gracious about!)
Maybe you should be shopping for a new guy :(
2006-10-25 09:28:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is true that girls appreciate gifts for their sentimental value... they symbolize a guy's feeling for them. While guys are more interested in how practical a gift is. But that doesn't mean guys don't appreciate the fact that a girl thought of them and bought them a gift.
It seems like he's being far TOO honest, and not nearly tactful enough. And even if he's not gonna use the gift, he could still thank you for the thought and hug/kiss you or whatever.
It doesn't make sense to me either, but maybe he's trying to send you packing for some reason. Or maybe he's just an asshole.
2006-10-25 09:18:46 · answer #2 · answered by djdep13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's self absorbed or an idiot... Maybe he's feeling guilty about something...
Hell, I'll take the cross pen... I'll take it without the engraving... I took a key chain and a letter opener from a girl... They are sitting in my drawer... I used the letter opener the other day... I rarely use the key chain though..
My sister got me a Mont Blanc pen in Maroon, NOT BLACK .. my prefence. Yet, it's hanging in my golf shirt even as I write this.. No engraving.. It's heavier than my cross... I think he's full of it... You can tell him, I've got a fountain pen that's heavier than the cross pen and I carry it in my shirt... NO problems...
2006-10-25 09:20:37 · answer #3 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, he's an a**hole? I mean, even if I didn't want a pen, I'd still like it if I loved him. And he doesn't have to carry it in his pocket, it could be on the desk! And the wrapping thing?? My husband and I rarely wrap anything for each other. He sounds way too uptight, hon.
2006-10-25 09:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an a***hole any person that treats a person lilke that after they put some hard work in to a gift or even put there heart into it. U should get him anything ever and u should leave him he is not worth ur heart.
2006-10-25 09:19:06 · answer #5 · answered by nova_av 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say just accept it!! chances are she did not hear you and your mum talking but giving it to you as a friend..... but if you really feel like that just tell your friend how you feel about it but she will probbaly tell you to keep it but she might not... other wise wait untill its someone elses birthday give them that present that means you dont have to tell your freinds and that you do not have to spend money for the other friends birthday!:)
2016-03-19 00:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to assume that the two of you are rather young (high school or so)
so...
he's an a$$!
dump him...
you went threw the time, and trouble to get it engraved for him, if he doesn't like it, that's his problem... find some one else...
2006-10-25 09:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I cannot imagine why someone who cares for you would do this. He was rude and ungreatful and I think it's time to look for a NEW boyfriend because this one does NOT deserve YOU.
2006-10-25 09:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by justanotherperson 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he would be ashambed to accept a good quality pen.
I agree with LALA101, maybe he's gonna suprise ya later!
2006-10-25 09:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by ~beauty~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He wants nothing to do with you or your gift.
2006-10-25 09:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋