I have a complex situation at home. I have a 15 mo old daughter. My mom comes over 3 times a week to help us babysit so my wife can work. But my mom and my wife make each other nervous. My mom complains to me that my wife is not enthusiastic when she comes to help out. My wife doesn't like the way my mom takes care of my daughter, because my mom stays up till 11pm to watch tv, so my daughter stays up with her (they sleep together). My mom also doesn't like to take her out to the park so she can mingle with the other kids. It is also getting hard for my mom to pick my growing daughter. My mom also cannot come on Sundays because she has to visit my grandparents every Sunday. This bothers my wife too because it means we can't go away for the weekend.
My wife wants to have her mom stay with us instead as a live-in nanny. But my mom is very sensitive and will take this as a rejection. I don't want my mom to feel hurt. My friends are supportive, but I think I might need help.
2006-10-25 09:08:30 · 4 answers · asked by Jentleman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you could have it both wys-if you have a live in nanny then you guys wil have more free time, as well as your mom. ALso when your nanny needs a day off than your mom can come. Plus, i'm sure your mom would rather come over to visit your daughter and have grandmom time rather than begin the babysitter.
2006-10-25 09:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a guy caught in the middle. All you can do from what I see is, hug your wife and hug your mom then find out if your mom would like to split the time with the other grand mother, the easy way around this is by saying " that way she will have both of you" and " then WE can spend some time together"( meaning you and your mom ) Grandmothers are a special breed you cant have to many for a child,each has a special gift to share. With your wife,well she is gonna have to realize that her mom may do thing she isn't fond of ether and also make her nervous....fact is kids will survive and thrive in places adults wouldn't last a day. I think you both should take a weekend together and then do some stupid and fun stuff, to learn how to laugh again and then think about therapy if that isn't working. Many hours of happiness and luck to you.
2006-10-25 17:08:46 · answer #2 · answered by Liz H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont really think its good for your marriage for anybodies mom to move in. Your wife should tell your mother that she does not want her daughter to stay up that late and your mother should respect the parents wishes. Your mother is not responsible to take the kid to the park if that's not what she wants to do. You and your wife can take her to the park if that's what she wants. Just because she's helping out with the baby doesn't mean she doesn't have to follow the parents rules. As far as your wife being upset about Sunday....tell her life sucks and you dont always get what you want. She had a baby so now she cant just do what she wants to do when she wants to do it.
2006-10-25 16:18:20 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds like yall need to talk to your mom and lay down some ground rules on how yall want your baby raised. If she can't abide by yalls rules, then you do need to find someone else. She might get her feelings hurt, but you need to put you baby first. You have the way you want your baby raised and she should respect that. She should follow bed times and play times. Babies need a routine and some sort of schedule. Sounds like she may be to old to care for the baby anyway, if she can't pick her up. What happens if she drops her or falls trying to pick her up. You need to put your daughter and wife first and think about their happiness. I am not saying move her mom in either, but if that would be the best situation then that is what yall need to do. Good luck.
2006-10-26 12:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋