If me and girlfriend had had baby and he kept her last name and now 4yrs later we are getting married would you marry her if she wasn't willing to change his last name. (she is willing to change her's to schroeder but wants to keep his purdy) so we wld be schroeder and his last name wld be purdy. should I still agree to get married. and the main reason this should be done because god forbid she die then my son would go to his grandfather and I wld have to contest.
the baby is mine but with out my last name if she die i don't get automatic custody do i
2006-10-25 08:53:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The "given" name of your child does not determine his paternity. It would not matter what his name is (your's, her's, other); he will still be your child. If, God forbid, something were to happen to his mother you only have to get a DNA test to prove you are the father if it should come to that.
The larger issue, however, seems to be the question of why your fiance is willing to take your last name but unwilling to allow your son to take your last name as well. I wonder why she insists on this. As he is a baby it surely doesn't matter to him. This sounds like an issue with her own family and their wishes. If nothing else, this would strike me as a test of how future conflicts might be handled. Might she be willing to compromise? His name, for instance, could be hyphenated as "Purdy-Schroeder" (or visa versa). I admit it is a mouthful but it might be a solution. I don't suppose you would care to change your own name?
I should think a mother/father would not wish to burden a child with a name different than his/her parents. At the very least, it is confusing, particularly in light of the fact that you BOTH are the biological parents with EQUAL interest in your child's welfare.
2006-10-25 09:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by delighteddave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you two not have any sort of legal documents giving you custody or rights? Is your name not on the birth certificate? If she has a will, she can leave you as a guardian should something happen to her.
As far as marrying her, I dont see why not. If I had the opportunity to give my child my maiden name, I would have (I'm not because I want to have a child with my husband and I think it would be strange after we're married to give the child a different name) but if I were not married I would do so. But I would do so, because my father did not have any sons and the family name stops with my generation.
2006-10-25 17:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused... are you the father? In that case, you would get custody. If you're not the father, then why don't you just adopt her son? Then you would have custody. It has nothing to do with the name, just who is supporting the kid. Good luck.
2006-10-25 16:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are on the birth certificate as the father you have nothing to worry about.
2006-10-25 16:25:57 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeas dont let something stupid like that come in between yur relationship
2006-10-25 15:57:22 · answer #5 · answered by ♥SO Happy♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her it shouldn't matter....Let her do what she wants....
2006-10-25 18:32:40 · answer #6 · answered by JennyAnn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋