I am in love with some one 10 years older than me as i am quite young the age difference matters. he is also quite alot more mature than me what can i do as we only speak on the internet (he is friends with a friend but lives far away but is moving to live nearer me so i know he isn't a peido). i just want him to notice me. or i need to know that i have to move on. i can't just ask him, how do i find out in a subtle way?
2006-10-25 08:16:08 · 23 answers · asked by little_teapot 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am just turned 16 (legal in uk) and he started of not liking the age difference then kinda didn't mind but now he talks to me like a friend. we have being speaking since i was 13 as friends. then at 16 we got a bit raunchy
2006-10-25 08:23:21 · update #1
if you are really young, you should move on.
2006-10-25 08:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with a lot of what other people have said, but would add the following:
1. So you're 16. Are you an emotionally mature 16 or an average 16 year old? That will make all the difference to your ability to judge things.
2. Why is he so keen on someone who has only just reached the legal age for a relationship?
3. Age differences really don't matter much. Compatability is a result of lots of things. If you have spent 3 years emailing each other then you should know each other well - depending on what you discussed of course :)
4. But... you have your whole life ahead of you to find your mate. So if he is the right one then you have plenty of time to find that out. If he's not the right one, do you think when you look back in future years you will wish you had waited for someone else?
5. Why not ask your other friend about him? Where he spends his free time, how many girlfriends he has had...
6. You can "just ask him". Life can be that simple. If he is mature, serious, interested in you - and for the right reasons - he won't mind you being serious. In fact he'll welcome it. If on the other hand he reacts badly, then maybe that will tell you something about him.
7. Or maybe this is just all too much to think about? You're 16, stop worrying about him being Mr Right. As long as he is decent, respects you, treats you properly, then maybe for now that is enough. Talk to him, make your decision, that's it!
Good luck.
2006-10-25 08:49:06 · answer #2 · answered by Ashoka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man of 26 has nothing but sinister intention if he is showering his attention on a girl of 16. You may feel this is love but I can say with 99.9% certainty that it is no such thing. Why this preoccupation with the age 16?, suddenly that makes everything alright does it? So ok if you did have sex it wouldn't be statutory rape and HE wouldn't get in trouble with the law, but that does not mean that it makes everything fine, because technically my dear you are still a child. The fact is your age DOES matter or why on earth should this milestone of 16 seem so meaningful to him.
Use your head, he is manipulating and using you. People like this do these things because young minds are far more impressionable than mature ones and they are easier to twist to their own ends.
The fact that this began when you were 13 is only more alarming. At the very best- he is a damaged and peculiar person who is so horribly insecure that he can not approach an adult women and has to look to a child to boost his ego....or he is a criminal who means you serious harm. Something in between is likely though for your sake I hope it is not the case.
I suggest that you discuss this with your parents, if you feel you can't tell them about him then ask yourself why.
My advice to you would be to cease all contact with this man at once, you are being manipulated- you seem to be articulate and intelligent and I'm sure can not be stupid enough to fall for what he says to you.
Issue this person with an ultimatum, tell him to do the decent thing and put any intentions he may have for you away, until you are an adult. That means 18. If he loves you or even cares for your well being and respects you.. as you might argue he does, he will wait until hell freezes over to be with you. If he doesn't then he will simply find himself another under age girl to manipulate. I know which my money will be on...sorry to say
take care
S
x
2006-10-25 09:00:13 · answer #3 · answered by lady_sephie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age difference isn't the issue, but it's your age that matters. It seems that you're too young to be dating and being immature isn't the a factor. There's alot of perverts out there, and some should be in jail. So date someone that you might now already and don't worry about the guys on the internet.
Play safe !!!!
2006-10-25 08:23:20 · answer #4 · answered by mikecook987 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is avoid him like the plaque, you are both playing with fire and you will both almost certainly get burned. How do you know just by talking to him on the Internet that he isn't a paedophile, did he tell you he wasn't. He could be anyone he wanted to be on line, there are hundreds of people on line all the time that say they are not what you and everyone else thinks they are.. Ask some one you can trust for advice on this one, I would say that you are very young possibly still at school, ask a teacher for advice, but please don't do anything that's gonna hurt YOU, just take care sweetheart there must be someone who can help you with this .... Take care beauty stay safe.
2006-10-25 08:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by mams brown eyed gel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does depend on how old you are right now. i married a man 15 years older when i was 25. we divorced a year later. now that i'm 37 i think 'what was i thinking????' but if i met someone 10 years older now it wouldn't be as much as a difference because hopefully we would both know who we are (at least to an extent). if you're that young then you'll change so much as you age and the age difference will become more and more obvious. maybe you're looking for a father figure???
2006-10-25 08:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by sassy6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 23 my fiancee is 40 and we have a child together. Age gaps are only an issue if you make them. But you are quite young to be with someone 10 years older.
2006-10-25 08:47:29 · answer #7 · answered by suckaslug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age really ain't nothing but a number unless you are a teenager and he is in his 20's then the problem is statutory rape and him being more mature than you probably means that he isn't a virgin which you maybe and being with someone who is experienced could lead to things that you don't want like STD'S, AIDS, UNWANTED PREGNANCIES. You need to get to know a person really well before you want to be with them and you being younger makes a big difference. Take things slow and if you are a teenager don't take things at all. let it go and move you with your life.
2006-10-25 08:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
age difference? Say you are 13 and hes 23. all depends on the age. I dated a guy when I was 13 who was 37. Thats not right. Are you really in love or just lusting after someone who is unattainable? Find out what he thinks about age differences and then youll get your answer.
2006-10-25 08:19:21 · answer #9 · answered by Dick Tater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Little
Well it all depends on the age you are. Being in love is so hard to cope with and with some one 10years older than you could cause problems with your family. I would advice you not to go falling for anyone on line as you don't know who they are. Are about there back ground. Please be careful and think about this a lot before you do or go anywhere.
2006-10-25 08:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you are 16 and legal it would appear that you are relatively inexperienced with relationships therefore I would suggest that you speak to your mum or dad and ask their advice on him. All said and done your parents will be looking out for your best interests.
Also means if this guy is ok, then you'll have your parents support and approval.
Good luck
2006-10-25 08:35:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anniez say 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋