... however he won't leave his wife, but calls her 5 times every day (excl. Sunday). I need to provide advice, and I'm not sure what to say - please help!?
2006-10-25 08:03:56 · 28 answers · asked by gareth_bancroft 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I doubt you can tell her anything...your sister has been playing the fool for 5 years. She is obviously comfortable in this position.
2006-10-25 08:06:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Your sister might think she is happy now with the way things are, but one day she will want more from this relationship, then she will get hurt, not only that but if she ever finds someone she loves who is not married, then they get married she will never trust her own Husband right from the start because she will know how easy it was for her to have an affair with a married man for 5+ years and she will be watching every move her Husband makes to the point of driving him away. This is how the affair she has been having has already damaged her. Like your surname, same as mine.
2006-10-25 15:48:41 · answer #2 · answered by Angel-Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister's wrapped in a relationship that is unhealthy for her.
Remind her that at the end of the day, that guy has only one leading lady and its definitely not her.
If it was her, he would have divorced his wife.
But why should a man divorce his wife if he has another who will accept the fact that he has a wife?
His bread is buttered both ways and he's loving the control he has on both women..
Remind her that it's been 5 years that she's been involved with that guy.
If he truly wanted her only, then he would have left his wife a long long time ago.
Plus, when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.
That guy has managed to use your sister for 5 years.
Tell your sister that she's worth more than that.
Remind her of the plans she had for her life and how she wanted things to be.
Why can't this man be true to your sister only when she has been true to him for so so long.
She doesn't deserve a part time man but a man who will shower her with all the love and attention she needs, not one who considers her second rate.
In his book, she will always be second and if she could give herself one good reason why the man she puts first is allowed to put her second, then she doesn't really love this man, she's in love with something else about him.
2006-10-25 15:13:25 · answer #3 · answered by ilyena 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having just discovered that my husband and father of my children was having an affair, the only advice to give is to for her to leave well alone.
The woman he had an affair with ended up devastated when she realised he really was not going to leave me and he was just with her for the attention.
Even if he ever did leave his wife, how long until he is cheating on your sister?
This will only end in a lot of heartache for everyone, at least your sister and the husband have a choice, the wife is none the wiser.
He is having his cake and eating it.
2006-10-25 15:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by horsegal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend in a similar situation. She is in her upper 30's now and might never even get the chance to have children of her own since she's wasted so much time with this man who will never leave his wife. Tell your sister that time goes by faster than you think (especially as you get older) and she could waste her life away waiting for the wrong guy passing up opportunities to be with the right guy. Best of luck to you and your sister!
2006-10-25 15:08:37 · answer #5 · answered by texirocks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he won't leave his wife, your sister is allowing herself to be used, however in my eyes she's as bad as he is if she knows he's married, can't she get a single guy ? Even if this guy left his wife to be with your idiot sister, he'd probably then cheat on her. She needs to wake up and smell the coffee. Incidentally it's very easy to call someone 5 times a day - when it suits them, it doesn't mean a thing.
2006-10-25 17:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my partner had an affair but only for a few months and it that was 8 years ago and it was a horrible time the other woman was also married and she was totally bessotted with my fella she would phone him ,she would turn up at the markets where he worked even when i told her husband they carried on seeing each other and it is only when i eventually had to get the police involved as her husband started hasseling me and my kidsthat she left us alone.. but it is hard on me as i cannot ever understand why he did it as we had been together 13 years when it happened we are still together after 20 but believe me it has been hard so try and talk to her it wrecks peoples lives and how will she feel when that poor woman finds out
2006-10-26 07:21:25 · answer #7 · answered by margaret 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
I'm afraid if she's still with him after 5 years, then there's no hope for her.
She's very obviously resigned herself to this kind of life and as long as he's still got his cake and is eating it who can blame him?
I think to be providing advice this late in the day is shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.
Hopefully, one day she will come to her senses and see the light and give him the big heave ho.
Sorry, my answer isn't very constructive, but 5 years is a hell of a long time!
2006-10-25 15:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by Moofie's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor girl, I bet she got into it because this poor mans wife didn't understand him, and she doesn't love him, she thinks more of the kids,dog, washing machine, house, garden, car. Tell your sister to WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!smell the coffee you silly girl, don't you have any respect for your self, or are you happy with your no hope boyfriend / situation, throw your phone away make yourself totally unavailable to him and learn to love yourself a little. The scum bag will only break your heart as well as his wife's I hate people like you and him . Get a life ...
2006-10-25 15:15:54 · answer #9 · answered by mams brown eyed gel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes in a no win situation. She is going to be the one hurt in the end. Make her think about him with his wife and family. He sleeps with his wife everynight not her..He pays the wifes bills. goes to dinner with the wife..introduces ppl to the wife. Your sister is nothing but a funbag for this jerko. I cant believe how shes done it for 5 yrs. good luck
2006-10-25 15:06:41 · answer #10 · answered by Kelli C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋